Go After Him

Go after him go after him they always say. Don’t wait for the what ifs. Don’t wait too long. What if he finds a girl? Don’t give me the crap about it not being meant to be. Person after person has said this to me. Sometimes I even wonder if the decisions I’ve made are wrong. Sometimes I wonder if I should say something directly.

But then I realise that I shouldn’t have to. It’s not as if I’m not bold around him — it’s just that I haven’t addressed the subject directly. I suppose there are many what ifs… But I value him so much that I fear making things awkward. I know I’ve put my foot in my mouth, and wanted to kick myself for it.

I don’t even think that I’m right for relationships. Why do I let myself feel pressured to be put into that group of girls that always needs to have a boyfriend? Ah, what saddens me the most is that I appear so needy that I must have him or else I’ll die or soemthing like that. Aish. I’m going to bed.