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Archive for September, 2001

I love K-Family

It’s been a while since I’ve been to a community service project. I had forgotten how much fun it can be. I had forgotten how adorable kids can be. I had forgotten how heartbreaking it is to know that they’ve gone through more than I ever will.

I was at a birthday bash at an abandoned children’s center. It’s amazing, the joy that I could see on their faces. It made me feel so happy and full of happiness. I missed that feeling of happiness. That feeling that I get only when I’m doing something for absolutely no reason except to help people.

I’ve fallen in love with Circle-K. Damn those Kiwanis. :P

^^ Arteest

A friend of a friend has a page. WOW! I never even had a clue she was such a good artist. =} She’s such a cutie, too. Hope I get to see her again sometime.


I miss Katie. Just wanted to get that out there… She’s awesome!! I can’t wait until I can put her under the list of ‘bloggers I’ve met’. =P ‘course, we knew each other before blogger even existed. hohoho.

Bothers me

Though I know I do the same thing, it bothers me when people are full of self pity. “OMG, look at me.. I’m pathetic.” Yeah. I’m going to make an effort not to do that anymore. ^_^


My first kiss wasn’t all too special. It was on Valentine’s day of 8th grade with a boy who gave me a flower. It felt exactly like I imagined it, somebody’s lips on my lips. Like any skin touching skin.

I didn’t really like it at all.

Not until this past year or so, have I really felt something whenever I kiss someone. Especially that first kiss. The kiss that comes after waiting, thinking, weighing the risks and making the decision to just do it. That kiss… there are no words to describe the feeling.

So soft, with lips slightly parted the first peck… and then the second, harder kiss that makes the whole thing something real and not imagined. It becomes something more than just lips touching lips… The body just reverberates with the feeling of ‘yummmm’.

Sigh. And yet, I’m sitting here in my room all alone.

Maybe I’ll go masturbate now.


I didn’t realize until just now that he is still in my “about” section. I guess I should take him off. It’s weird, how I’m reluctant to do that. I feel as if changing things on my site, or speaking about it directly on the site truly brings a sense of finality to our relationship.

It’s really over… I’m my own worst enemy, huh?


Doob? Dooby dooby doo? Hehe. Yet another blogger/journaler met through the beautiful network! HELL yeah. I feel bad, though, he saw me at one of my worst — angry, flushed and throwing a tantrum. Cold, flushed and rolling on the floor. Tired, uncontrollable laughter and red eyes.

Some experiences can be remembered, most lost in the abyss of my mind. If you told me to tell you what happened that night, I would only remember snippets. I’ve never felt so angry, so insulted in my life… But at the same time, I’ve never loved friends so much and trusted people so much. I’ve never been scared of police officers befor either.

A whole night full of random first experiences.

—The Night—-
I saw one of those glass blow up things being used for the first time in my life. It makes a rather pleasant bubbly sound. Weird how I can’t smell anything. Am I weird? I guess so. Everyone says the smell is very distinctive. It smells distinctively like air to me.

I’m told that my nails are unique to other girl’s nails. They’re real, but they’re in square shape, so you get the thin scratch affect at the same time as the blunt nail affect. Weird, I suppose. It comes from too much typing though.

It’s funny how when we break rules, we make up excuses about how it’s OK. “We’re not where the rules apply anymore, so we’re allowed to do this.”

There were four girls there last night. WHen I walked in they were freaking each other. Kind of scary, really. But the three that I saw at first were pretty hot. But then the fourth one turned around… And I decided I needed a drink.

The word “Horse” escaped my mouth about 50 times in relations to her face. Among other things. I don’t think I’ve ever been so angry in my life. I almost resulted to violence… But dave convinced me that it wasn’t worth the arm exertion. Plus, the mess would be hard to clean up.

At one point in the night, I kicked James in the butt and when asked why, I said something like “I guess I was meant to be a gay man. I love sodomy”… Or something to that respect. Strange.

I questioned myself a lot last night.

At one point, my body felt like… Jelly. I felt like the way David’s body looks when he’s dancing. Though, I know I probably looked more like a rag doll.

James took me home… Even though I drove there [funny thing, I was going to drive somewhere today and searched the parking lot for 5 minutes before I realized that my car was still at Dave’s house]. Weird stuff.

At two different times in the night, I found myself wearing a hat… with no idea how it got on me. At one point, I was carrying a bear and couldn’t figure out where it came from

Waylan and I discussed the rules of etiquette regarding giving a massage.

—- End Last Night—-

Today I didn’t feel that bad. Especially after I had something to eat. After eating I felt way better. I was surprised. Last time I felt queasy the whole day.

My friend Adrian from school came along. He’s a really awesome guy. We gossipped about school friends and etc. It’s weird, but I still actually care about the people we’ve known since middle school. I thoght I had gotten past all that.

Adrian’s one of those few people that I’ll actually miss having around.

Went to Dave’s house to get my car back. Dave fed me and Adrian. Good stuff, too. I haven’t had real rice in a long time.

I think I’ll go make myself some ramen now.


Whoops! I forgot SHOZO! The dirty jap.. HOHOHO! He’s one of the tightest of em all!


Wow… This week has been like… Blogger week or something! Met Theresa and Sam… and of course, as always chilled with Dave and James. =D

It’s great, though! Everyones even funnier/cooler in real life than on their blog!

Oh yeah, and on another note Tashia has a new layout!


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