inicio mail me! sindicaci;ón

Archive for March, 2001


Chapter 1

I can’t say I have a way of words. Or that I even know what I’m writing about. I guess I’m writing about how I found love. And how I lost it because of my prejudice. And how I found it again only to lose it. That woman, I thought I loved her, I thought I could give everything to her, I thought if I was strong enough, I could take care of her. I guess I thought wrong, perhaps she is just another bitch. Or, perhaps I’m not strong enough to admit… To admit that I am a woman.

It began, I suppose, the winter of my sixteenth year. I met a beautiful girl, a girl by the name of Serena. I gazed upon her with almost worshipfully, her long black hair, her coy smile. . . and most of all, her eyes. Her eyes were perfection. beautiful and round, they crinkled just a tiny bit at the corners and brightened when she smiled. Her eyebrows, too, helped only to accentuate the beauty of her eyes, deepening the mood in her expressive eyes. I wanted to always be near her. I wanted to be like her.

This reverence is probably what got me in trouble in the first place. She put a spell over me. Her scent, her soft hands and her eyes. Oh her eyes. I remember them as she asked me to come to her house to help her with the homework in the class we shared. Innocent, her eyes.

She drove me to her house, after school, in her little car. There was chit chat, the usual, when the subject of my love life came up. I became silent.

“Am I being too personal?” she asked quizzically.

I shook my head, “No, it’s not you. It’s just that there’s been a lot going on lately. I think… I think he’s falling for another girl,” my voice cracked and I choked a little on my words.

Her car stopped, we were in front of her house. Her warm arm encircles my shoulders and I lean towards her warmth. “It’s okay,” she whispers…

narf. Finish later. not in the mood anymore.


Just letting my fingers run wild

And so she looked at me, sadly. Her moist eyes, filled just to the brim with tears telling me more than any words could say. Quietly she looked at me in a pathetic, pleading manner. My arm around her, stroking her back gently, I whispered, “Shh… It’s for the better… Its for the better.”

A miscarriage. I can’t say I’m not glad. When she told me she had cheated on me with him, I was so angry. But, when she became pregnant, I could not have asked for anything better. Afterall, I couldn’t have done so myself — though Lord knows I wish I could have. I held her, smoothing her long black hair back, kissing her damp cheek.

“Come on, let’s go home.”


^_^; Eccentric

What better way to revive my interest in KEY Club, than the prospect of seeing Nick at Convention. Strange, yes?…



Ahh, yes.

Key Club convention is coming up soon, and I know I should be excited. Only, for some reason I’m not… I mean, after it’s over… That means it’s really over for me. I guess I’ll become one of those people who joins Circle K trying to rekindle my Key Club days. I sincerely hate my home club right now, though. Up to the point where I don’t even want to go to the meetings. All the joys that came so easily before have slowly but surely faded into fake smiles and forced laughter. I hate it.



No time to blog, no time to blog. My life has become really busy somehow… I guess when I actually HAVE a life, I don’t blog. Haha. =] Or perhaps I’m just not feeling like posting my personal thoughts to the world. And posting anything else wouldn’t be in my style.

Turning 18 was uneventful. I really wish I would stop being so lame.


So.. Nick is like

I’m gonna buy you some underwear for your birthday… And I’m like.. “Cool!”… But I can’t tell if he’s serious or not… O_o… I’ve never gotten underwear from anyone but my mommy. . .


Funny thing

The randomest people are coming out of the woodwork and telling me happy birthday. ^_^ While those that I expect to say it to me haven’t. :D I guess they’re all saving it for tomorrow… ;) Since that’s when it is… Mmm… Cake…


^_^ Wow! Pleasant surprise

It’s always nice to go to a page and see your own page linked on their side bar.. :) It makes me feel as if I’m loved and thought of. Thanks Jenny!… I’m going to put you onto my side bar as soon as I remember to!! ^_^* Times like these I wish I didn’t use SSI, so I could fix it right in the template. Eh, oh well. ;) Saves me trouble in many other ways.



Wanting a better body

While looking around me, it seems as if everybody else has a better body… I envy girls and sometimes guys for the size of their breasts. :( Mine are miniscule in comparison. Generally, I don’t notice these things, but I’ve been getting a lot of comments on my flat butt lately. Awww. :T


The worst luck!

I’ve gotten in the habit of beginning my conversations with a certain guy named Noel with an “attention getter”… You know, a shocking comment, or a story… Yesterday it was “When I was younger and found out what a penis was, I thought I was growing a penis, but it turned out to be my clitoris.”… Today, “Once in the middle of the night, I thought that I got up and went pee, but it turned out I was dreaming and I peed on my bed.”…. Hahaha… But somehow, someway, every single time I say something to the effects of, “Nick has a large pulsating penis”… Nick… happens…… ;_;!! It’s happened three for three already… And I can’t help but wonder if I’m cursed. Haha. I don’t know, I don’t know. I think I’ll just stop that from now on.

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