There was almost another Columbine today
It’s so scary to think that I was on that campus just a couple weeks ago. And my friend was taking Astronomy there just last night.
Until now I’d always believed that it was something that could only happen in hick towns… Not where I live, safe, suburban and in between two giant cities. So close… How could anybody be prepared for something like that?
Sigh… I haven’t blogged here lately
And the minute I started, it became so addicting. Even more addicting than AIM. Anyhow!! I went to the TET festival today, for the Lunar New Year… It was awesome… I got soo much free stuff!! =D A looot of condoms and lubricant and stuff. HAhahaha but I’m giving those to my brother. 
Happy new year bro! here’s some condoms. AHHAA what a present! ^_^* They’re Gold Durex kind, too.
I felt really lonely, though… Like… super lonley… I don’t know whether it’s just because I’m especially emotional right now… (time of month).. or what.. but at one point I was brought to tears… I mean.. My mom left me alone and went off with her friend for a while… So I was just drifting around the fairgrounds alone.. And like… I would stop at the game venders to watch people do things and stuff.. and it was like.. Everyone was in a group… and having fun… I mean… I think I got some inviting looks, from a couple guys… But.. eh…I didn’t feel like taking the initiative like I usually do. (Usually when I find myself in that type of situation i’ll just introduce myself to someone who looks nice and have fun w/them the whole day)…. But I don’t know what was different today…
And then.. the game venders kept asking me to try the games… But I didn’t really feel like playing.. Just like watching people play. They kept asking me whether or not i had a boyfriend… I think it was because usually the guys play to win things for girls… Aish.. And then some of them even just automatically assumed i have one.. I got a lot of “Go grab your boyfriend over here and get him to win you something!”… That made me feel soooo bad for some reason.. even though I know they didn’t mean to hurt my feelings.
Gah… Why am I so insecure? I don’t know… But I hate the insecure feeling! It’s so.. demeaning. :T Narf.
Hehehe.. I’m glad!! And then I’m not… Cuz what if you stop paying attention to me? I need my attention! hahaha. Just kidding just kidding. Even tho, I do miss you! I haven’t really had a good talk with you for more than a week. I hope you’re doing alright. I really miss yah. I think I’m going to call you as soon as I get offline.
AIM feels strange?!
It’s strange, after not going on AIM for so long, I went on for about an hour and it felt like… SOOO LONG.. I thought I had been on for at least 5 hours, but then i checked my status and I had only been on for about an hour and 5 minutes. Eeesh!
Aish… I’m finally back
In case you’re wondering where I’ve been, I’ve been blogging alternatively at westmontshuttle.org… The shuttle mission is over now, but that was just for the last few days. It’s been really tiring
I can’t believe tomorrow is monday… But I have a few bits of big news.. 1. I got a car! Finally, my parents bought me a car!… Now.. I just have to learn how to drive. ^_^*
2. Nick might be coming to see me on february 17! 
YAY
Good stuffs. ^_^*
You know what annoys me?
When people have blogs and then abandon them for months and months… And then post like 1 thing 3 months later and expect me to know that they’ve posted. Sorry to break it to yah, but I stopped checking a month ago. -.- Well, I want to say that anyway… I usually end up saying, “Holdup, lemme check.”
But, eh, seeing as I’m on an AIM sabbatical, that hasn’t occured in about a week. 
I never said it was YOU
By the way, happy new year! ^_^; I’m sorry I was so grumpy when you called me. I felt really sick, and you wouldn’t answer who you were. I’m not very good at recognizing voices.
I talked to Nick on the phone for an hour last night… =D I was just going to call him band wish him a Happy New Year, but I ended up talking to him until almost 12… Like… 20 till or something. ^_^* It was really nice… I forget how soothing his voice is. TeeHee.
He got a tongue ring. I’m not sure if I like that or not yet. Most of the tongue rings I’ve seen are pretty nasty. But then… Eh… Most that I’ve seen with tonguerings have been pretty nasty. :T I don’t think Nick is nasty to start with (quite the opposite, actually)… so maybe I don’t feel that way about his. ^_^* I can’t really tell. I’ll have to see it in person first.
I should start working on my HW now. ^_^* Muah.
Three days left of my AIM sabbatical
I’m shocked to realise that people actually miss me. ^_^* It actually makes me feel good… Thanks to all of you who have been expressing your concern for the last few days. No, I haven’t disappeared off the face of the planet. I have night class tonight, and haven’t done a whip of homework. Blech. This time around, I have heavy HW, too. -.-
And this time… It’s graded. -.-
I think I’m gonna die.
Took Studio Pictures Last Weekend
my singles
I feel… Strangely Alone..
I haven’t been on AIM for 3 days… I suppose it isn’t that surprising that I miss the company of my fellow digital buddies… However, a part of me is simply amazed that I can’t even go for a whole day without thinking, “Ooo.. I wonder if so and so is online.” The strangest part is — many of the people I know and talk to all the time, I don’t even have their phone number. I don’t have their address. Not even their e-mail. How do I bring myself to call somebody my friend — or even acquaintance, if I don’t even know their last name?
And yet I do. I’m shocked at myself. I’ve lived in a world that is so… Sheltered, and fake… And most of all, 80% imaginary. That’s what this is, isn’t it? It’s like reading a book, you take what you want out of it. Long silences on AIM can mean the person is ignoring you, or for all you know, they’re making their dinner. Even I, myself, have been prone to creating rapid B.S. excuses at the appropriate times.
Online, we see what we want to see, and we know others feel the same… So we tell them what they want to hear. I realise that not so deep within my facade of confidence, there lies a lonely girl, who doesn’t really believe she will succeed. But my so-called friends don’t want to see that. They want to see somebody who is self assured, somebody who knows where they’re going. So then I give that to them.
emptiness is loneliness and loneliness is cleanliness and cleanliness is godliness and god is empty. just like me.
smashing pumpkins
My Calc teacher is named Campbell
I live in a town named Campbell. Coincidence? I think not.
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