Archive for January, 2002
January 16, 2002 at 3:02 pm · Filed under Rigamarole
It’s so weird when you listen to a song and it suddenly echos all the thoughts that have been going through your head. My roommate was playing this and I suddenly caught wind of the words — they just made me feel good somehow… Like somebody in the world feels the same I do for one moment.
It’s the same feeling as when you confide in someone, and they understand you.
Everything’s so blurry
and everyone’s so fake
and everybody’s so empty
and everything is so messed up
Read the rest of this entry »
January 14, 2002 at 6:51 pm · Filed under Rigamarole
It’s a plague, I tell you! — I think it’s called freshman depression. I suddenly get this feeling that I live breathe and swim constantly in a never ending sea of school. I want to get away for a week and feel for once that I’m not at school. Feel like school isn’t following me wherever I go. >_
I feel stifled.
January 13, 2002 at 11:41 am · Filed under Rigamarole
After a harrowing week without my car, my brother finally brought it back to me, all fixed up again and ready to go. As I stuck my key into the ignition and twisted it in that oh-so-familiar way, I felt freedom seeping back into my veins. I can finally go places without asking people!
—
Everything has been completely exhausting this week — I can’t understand how people were able to go to all the frat parties and things. I can’t even stay up past 2 AM sometimes. Bleh-ness! Yeah, I know, life sucks for me, huh. I’m a privilidged college student in a yuppy town who’s too tired to go to frat parties. Oh darn.
Unless you couldn’t tell — that was sarcasm.
—
So, I’ve gotten two entries in the notebook that I carry around. I’ll post the first entries just to show you the stupid crap that goes through my mind:
Episode #1: A man walks by whistling “isn’t it romantic”, bringing back memories of ‘Sabrina’ the Audrey Hepburn movie.
Episode #2: People easily annoyed by others stupidities are often blind to their own shortcomings.
More to come. 
January 10, 2002 at 8:57 pm · Filed under Rigamarole
it seems the best way to keep my hits at a steady pace is to not give a shit about whether or not people are coming and to just write whenevers. haha. who knew? i feel bad not updating sometimes, though, just so drained lately to do anything about it.
i’ve taken to carrying a notebook with me wherever i go again. it reminds me of the old days with my falling-apart HOT planner jotting down all the random shit that came into my mind. i missed it a lot. anyhow — too many people here right now to go on. bleh.
January 9, 2002 at 11:27 am · Filed under Rigamarole
I’ve been receiving some rather caustic reviews lately, and I’ve decided to answer them.
From DJ Jeff Yen
“How come every DJ hates you?”
Actually, not every DJ hates me. In fact, I only know of one ‘DJ’ who hates me and that would be ‘Sonicat’. Well, perhaps two now, since you’re labeled as a DJ as well.
“Maybe you need to chill?”
Alright, here’s the deal: One, you don’t have your facts straight. Two, you don’t even know me. You’ve never even talked to me and you’re already giving me advice on how I should interact with other people? The things I write here aren’t one dimensional. There’s more behind what I’m writing than what you see — Maybe it’s because you don’t have a blog and you can’t understand that, but please, give me my space.
—-
From Sonicat
Don’t you care that people get pissed off at you enough to tell you you’re a bad person?
Alright. First of all, that person never called me a bad person. He simply said that I wasn’t a good person to talk to. You twist my words around in a way that doesn’t even make sense, and you expect me to take you seriously? You should think a little more before you criticize me.
It doesn’t bother you at all that so many people ‘annoy’ you much that you can just say fuck’em?
The said person in the last post was one of the 15 RANDOM people [people that I’ve never talked to or met in my LIFE] who IMed me within the first two minutes of signing onto an old AIM account. I think I have every right to say ‘fuckem’ — I was in a bad mood in the first place and switching to that name so that I could chat without interruptions. — I don’t feel any remorse brushing people off people who IM me with “Who are you” and “A/S/L”.
Additionally:
All those other things you wrote about me: That only applies to you, specifically. I’m not always annoyed at people in general, [although this sometimes happens], but I’m almost always annoyed with you. You and I are not on the same wavelength. I don’t know why it’s so hard for you to grasp, but I really really can’t stand talking to you. You’re a nice person, and I’m sure you can find many friends. I just can’t ever see myself being one of them.
January 7, 2002 at 11:57 pm · Filed under Rigamarole
extreme annoyance follows me like a fog. i don’t hesitate to release my anger. someone said today that i’m not a nice person to talk to. some random kid that IMed me from out of nowhere for no reason. hah. its his bad luck for trying to talk to me at the wrong time. i dislike those people. i dislike them greatly.
i’m annoyed at just about everything lately, actually. i think i’m going to go to sleep. it’s nice to have my computer back.
January 3, 2002 at 8:46 pm · Filed under Rigamarole
I apologize for the long time without posts. I just haven’t been feeling very inspired lately. Actually, no. I have been feeling inspired — I just haven’t had computer (or even paper) access at the times when I actually am inspired enough to write something.
Bouts of depression have been hitting me the last few days. Maybe it’s all a part of that revertion back into my old self — I was rather severely depressed at certain points in time back in the day…. Or maybe it’s a new type of depression. I really can’t tell yet. Regardless, I feel saddened: and for reasons that I can’t pinpoint at all.
I’ve come to some epiphanies about the people whom I surround myself with as well. Too much time to ponder, perhaps… Driving too much [especially under certain conditions] tends to do that to me.
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