Archive for September, 2005
September 10, 2005 at 5:33 pm · Filed under Rigamarole
Show me the titties!!
And you shall be rewarded beyond your wildest dreams.
Whenever I see sites like these, as much as I want to puke, I’ve always been a little jealous that I don’t get fansigns and they do.
I decided to remedy that problem by soliciting fansigns from a few of my biggest fans:
OMG guys, you guys are teh hottttxxx!! Thanks so much for the love!!
P.S. Those of you that want to donate some fansigns to me so I can add to my collection, feel free to e-mail them to: wikipatterns@gmail.com.
I’m waiting to hear your adoration!
September 9, 2005 at 6:03 pm · Filed under Rigamarole
Totally Not-Legal
Teens!
Top 10 reasons
why teenyboppers are like STDS.
10. You can make fun of them as much as you want,
but they’re still a big annoyance.
9. They’re always on your balls.
8. They pop up at the worst fuckin’ times.
7. They are more often bright pink and purple than
not
6. They make you scratch your head.
5. Against your better judgement, you sometimes touch
yourself as you look at them.
4. No one’s really sure about the cure.
3. You’re not exactly sure where they came from.
2. Sometimes, they can give you flu-like symptoms like headaches,
irritability and nausea.
1. Once you get them, they never go
away.
Refer to page 69 to learn “Why Emo kids are like
STD”s.
Random image
of the day:
You’ll
always be my partner in crime
September 9, 2005 at 2:59 pm · Filed under Rigamarole
Totally Not-Legal Teens!
Top 10 reasons why teenyboppers are like STDS.
10. You can make fun of them as much as you want, but they’re still a big annoyance.
9. They’re always on your balls.
8. They pop up at the worst fuckin’ times.
7. They are more often bright pink and purple than not
6. They make you scratch your head.
5. Against your better judgement, you sometimes touch yourself as you look at them.
4. No one’s really sure about the cure.
3. You’re not exactly sure where they came from.
2. Sometimes, they can give you flu-like symptoms like headaches, irritability and nausea.
1. Once you get them, they never go away.
Refer to page 69 to learn “Why Emo kids are like STD”s.
Random image of the day:
You’ll always be my partner in crime
September 8, 2005 at 4:09 pm · Filed under Rigamarole
Carpet Munchers Unite!
Why do bitches all say they’re bisexual?
Bitch, you’re not bi-SEXUAL unless you’ve bi-SEXED
You can be gay and not have had sex. You can be straight and not
have had sex. But bitches, you can’t be sure you’re a bisexual
unless you have had sex-experiences with both sexes!
If you haven’t and you think you’d like it, then there’s a word for it — BICURIOUS.
Ever since I came to college, it seemed like the popular thing for
bitches to tell people is that they’re bi-sexual. I’m here to
dispell this illusion. They’re probably not — and I know this by
cold hard experience.
Sure these bitches may be willing to kiss a girl or two on drunken
nights, or grab some fuckin’ titties, but unless they’re willing to go
down, or let another girl go down, they’re not bisexual!
Why do I say this?
Because I’m fucking tired of box teases fucking every dick and harry in
sight and getting told by these guys that these chicks are bi-sexual
and getting put in the same fucking boat as these wanna-bes.
My solution
HOWEVER! All is not lost, I do have a solution to this
epidemic. That is, everyone is innocent of bi-SEXUALITY
until proven guilty.
How will I do this?
I declare today official MADPIMP.COM Box-Eating Day.
All you bitches who claim to be half-lesbos, bring your box munching skills to me!
I will be the judge and jury. I know, I’m a fucking selfless bitch — but what needs to be done has got to be done!
Now, who wants to start?
Genius of the day:
I swear, I just wrote an entire entries about bitches like you.
Girl, you’re not even part lesbo unless you munch carpet — didn’t you just read a thing I said?
September 7, 2005 at 2:21 pm · Filed under Rigamarole
Gay ol’ time:
Got pride?
So, I lost my 512 mb flash card for a while, and just found it yesterday in one of Lan‘s
drawers. Opening it up and getting the pictures off was like
opening up one of them time capsules. There were events on
there that I didn’t even remember taking pictures of.
Is it surprising at all that I didn’t remember about this picture?
One of the events was Pride ’05, LA.
For those of you that don’t know, I’m a huge faghag. Honestly,
I’ve even considered entering the contest at times. In high
school, I was one of the founding members of our GSA (Gay Straight
Alliance), went to gay prom [with my then-boyfriend who ended up
holding hands with another boy….] and participated in several parades.
Anyhow, while I was in college I really could only concentrate on one club, so I gave up being a gay and community service freak and became just a community service freak.
Which is why, when the opportunity came up in my club to volunteer at
Pride ’05, I jumped up at the opportunity because of all my great
memories from the past.
We came just expecting to be volunteers at booths or some other funny
volunteer thing, but we all ended up actually being in the parade
itself. We were even on TV!
They gave us great shirts as soon as we arrived
My friend and I got to walk some politician’s car.
Here’s me trying to steal it before I got apprehended
The car I really wanted to walk
Our neighbor, Phil, the Syphilis sore
The view as we were walking in the parade
And finally, no gay event is complete without a couple of faries. 
It was probably one of the most fun events I’ve been to in the last
four years of college… And it made me regret not being more active in
our school’s LGBT club.
All I know is, I’m definitely going again next year.
—–
If you were to make a time capsule, what would you put in it?
September 6, 2005 at 2:22 pm · Filed under Rigamarole
“The OC”
and “Laguna Beach”
So, since it’s summer time, I’ve had the chance to catch up with some television (well, that and the fact that I’ve been trying to limit my anime intake a little). Anyhow, I’ve finally been able to sit down and watch episodes of The OC and Laguna Beach: The Real Orange County…. And really, after seeing the shows, I can’t imagine what people outside of the OC must think of people who live in the OC.
Now I’m at an impasse — as idiotic as it sounds, it seems like the lives of these drama-filled people are completely empty. On the other hand, I wouldn’t mind a good massage, or a hot surfer dude once in a while.
Additionally, I find it interesting that all the girls seem to look the same — which, really, should be impossible. So I figure that most of it is make up — and if it’s make up, then I could probably do it if I wanted to… If I lost about 20 lbs and got a tit job.
So here’s my first question to you: If you lived in the OC like me, would you:
A: Not associate with typical OC-ers, but watch them religiously on TV and make fun of them as they come on while being secretly jealous that they have a seemingly unending stream of money.
B: When in Rome, do as the Romans do… and try to BECOME a typical TV-type OC-er (Only asian… But still blonde!)…
or
C: Go GTA-style insane and start taking all the ferrarris and lamborghinis for joyrides while running over OC peeps for points.
My second question:
Are there any weird stereotypes about the place that you live?
September 5, 2005 at 2:37 pm · Filed under Rigamarole
If it’s just a phase…
How come I never grew out of it?
I remember when it started. I was in fourth grade. My two
front teeth had just grown out [giant, by the way, I had to get them
filed down], I was as skinny as the new immigrants in my class and just
as dark. I got back our class picture, and I was standing next to
the cutest girl in our class. She was wearing a little-bo-peep
type dress, while I was wearing hot pink leggings with purple flowers
on it and a matching top. Next to her I looked like a dark little
beggar child that was really hungry.
That was when I entered my awkward phase.
I never really fit in….
And then I got my glasses. Man, not only was I a fairly
intelligent, weird lookin’ kid, I had to get glasses on top of
it. It just kind of topped the icing on my cupcake.
At least in Elementary school I was still in the ‘cool crowd’.
Middle school started in 5th grade for me… and from that point on,
I pretty much was no longer in the ‘cool crowd’. None of
the boys I liked liked me back [Ah, martin.. why did I send you an
anonymous love letter only to be found out and laughed at?], none of
the pretty girls talked to me except in class to ask me about
schoolwork.
I mean, it’s not like I didn’t have friends and all, but I
definitely was not a social butterfly, as much as I would have liked to
be.
So this feeling of awkwardness that began so young — I guess I was
around 10 — has never really left me. When you read about
it in all those teen novels or see it on TV, they always tell teenagers
that it’s just a phase that they’re going to grow out of. Indubitably,
most of these ‘awkward teens’ are hotnesses like Rachael Leigh Cook or
Hillary Duff or Lindsey Lohan, but the message still comes
through — and gives one hope.
Except I’m 22…
…and then I tag along with a friend to a sorority party,
or some kind of mixer where there’s all these beautiful blonde
socialites, or even go clubbing…. and it all comes back to me how
dorky and awkward I am in the company of the ‘cool kids’.
Except we’re not kids anymore… and I still don’t fit into the in crowd.
I don’t have the right conversation, the right clothes, the right makeup, the right hair style, the right speaking mannerisms.
… worst of all, I don’t have the confidence.
But.. at least I get worshipped.
What childhood ‘phase’ have you never been able to shake?
September 4, 2005 at 9:17 pm · Filed under Rigamarole
Public Apology:
I deeply apologize for yesterday’s entry.
When I read it again this morning, I felt like my brain was going to explode. Who knew such filth could come from anywhere but my anus? It appears I need a sphincter for my brain to regulate the leakage of teeny-bopperness that lives deep down somewhere within me.
But… more on that another day.
“It nearly killed me.”
…holden caulfield makes me think.
So, in true back-to-school fashion (even though I’m 22 now), I went to Barnes yesterday and bought (among other books on the required reading table) Catcher in the Rye. After finishing a couple of the other books that I bought which were both written in a woman’s point of view by women (Secret Garden and Rebecca), I was surprised and a little refreshed by the difference in the voice of the narration.
What was most interesting is that because I was thinking along in an especially feminine point of view [probably due to reading the two other books in quick succession], I noticed even more clearly that the more involved I became with Holden [the main character in Catcher], the more I began to think with Holden’s voice in my mind. I even started inserted some of his catch phrases into my train of thought while I was thinking of other things.
It’s wonderous, how easily mouldable the mind can be.
In what ways do you tend to pick up the mannerisms of the media in which you immerse yourself? Quotes? Movements? Thoughts?
September 3, 2005 at 3:55 pm · Filed under Rigamarole
~LyKe OMG! Im t0taLLie 12!~!*
pLz leave mee comm3nts!! dey make meeh f33l haPPie!
So lyke.. Ok… um yea. I haB notiNg reallie 2 talk aBt todaeeee.. Butt! im goinG to rite s0metiNg n e way! just b-cuZ i’m 12 and I tink PPL neeeed to knO wen I hab nOting goOd to sae. k. bye!!
O! i rote dis ~*PoEm*~ 4 u guYz 2day! teLL me wat u tiNk…
i lYke it wen u comm3nt
it’z lyKe dey’re heaven s3nt
i d0n’t lysten to my par3ntz
were hab my unDiEz w3nt?
LyKe OMG! t3LL me wat you TiNk aboUt de pOem K:?! K??
O yea~! I alsO maDe dis Pictur! isnt it kEWL? i did it in adobe Potoshop!
DoNt heSiTatE 2 teLL meeH how tALenTed I am!!
teE heE heEee…
hee heEeh.
heeEh.
heeeh.
heEeEh.
…im so tired now…
September 2, 2005 at 3:06 pm · Filed under Rigamarole
The old days:
After pubes, before alcohol.
Everybody talks about how they miss childhood, how much they miss being kids without a care in the world. Me too.
I miss the old days too.
However, lately I’ve been thinking about another life of mine. —
My web life. I started making webpages in
1997 and I started blogging in 1999 — which means I was
about oh… 16 or 17 when I began to chronical my online life.
Needless to say, because there weren’t very many people on the
internet back then — much less people on the internet that were my
age, so I didn’t really have many people to compare myself or emulate
as far as online journals went… And really, there weren’t enough
people on the internet to read what I was writing anyway.
I feel like I lost a bit of my internet childhood because of that.
You see, these days I go on the internet and I am innundated by the
mass of underaged girls blasting their photos, their bad grammer, their
shitty poems, and their crappy “digital art” at me… And I
realize, regardless of how shitty their stuff is, more people see the
crap they spout onto the internet than they ever did when my
shitty stuff first came online.
WHY NOT ME?
*I* want to show you all my shitty “digital art”!
*I* want to regale you with my crappy ass poems! ! !
—————————
…It’s kind of like how you can shit everywhere and
anywhere as a baby, but when you grow up, you learn how to keep
that shit to yourself and deal with it in your private time.
So, for the next few days, I will be writing the
type blogs that I see everywhere and that recently I have not been
able to condescend myself into writing…. Simply because I miss the
old days.
Stay tuned tomorrow for: Kim becomes a teeny-bopper!
What do younger people have today that you wish you had?
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