RE: Cunt!
So yesterday while I was at work I decided to test out Xanga’s new messaging features.
If you are one of my subscribers, you received a message with the subject title “Cunt!”
…Wow. I can’t believe the response.
I’ve received 189 messages in response! Since yesterday!
My inbox is also hilarious
Imagine, 10 pages of RE: Cunt!
Ahh, the ways in which I amuse myself…
Don’t you just hate it when people post about inside jokes and you have no idea what you’re talking about?
Then I’m sorry, because this is one of those times.
Things I want to remember from vegas:
1. What nun?
2. Swords.
3. Sword boners.
4. “Your skills are like that of trash!” [bonk]
5. Alien jerky
6. Terrible’s
7. Kim [my best friend] in a dress
8. Shitting red beans from the eyes
9. Squirting condensed milk from the nipples
10. Sweating coconut juice. [mostly from the armpits]
11. “F YOU SUV DRIVER!”
12. Snap yo’ bagels
13. Oooooooohhhh.
14. Male blow up dolls. With holes.
15. Excuse me, but I’m “waaayyyy hung”
And finally,
Naked Poopoo Crew
also known as the
Nasty Perverted Coalition
Is now open for business.
And seriously, none of that really happened.
p.s. if you know what npc really stands for, you’re a dork like us.
So a much requested update on my bowel movement [BM] situation:
Last friday: 8 days no BM
Friday afternoon: Nausea
Friday night: Laxitive time
Saturday morning 6am: pooped for 30 minutes straight
Sunday:nada
Monday: nausea, dizziness
Monday afternoon: went to the doctor, he said I have excess stool in my tummy and to take laxitives every day this week.
Every day this week: diarrhea.
I didn’t want to have diarrhea today so I didn’t take the laxitive last night. As a result I’m feeling grumpy and constipated [I keep thinking I need to go, but when I go, nothing comes out.]
Im worried I’m going to become one of those people who has to drink metamucil every day.
I haven’t gone poo since last thursday.
And by last thursday, I mean 8 days ago.
I feel like I’m about to die.
I’d also like to apologize for anyone who has had the disadvantage of being downwind of me the past 3 days. I’ve been passing what I fondly refer to as “Death Gas”.
How bad is it, do you ask? Last night, I woke myself up from deep sleep because of it.
A cause for celebration:
Celebrated my 6th month monthaversary with the BF. At one point in my life [in otherwords, my last relationship] I thought that having a date didn’t really matter, but as it turns out, I really love the feeling of having something like a relationship milestone to look forward to. Plus, it’s fun to celebrate my relationship, and it’s an excuse to eat really well at least once a month. 
Larry wrote the other day about the different types of responses that he receives from friends when he tries to talk about his problems. I’ve been thinking about that, and I’ve come to this conclusion:
I’m a really bad at consoling people. Not because I don’t listen, and not always because I don’t care…
Because of my pessimistic nature, even when I do care and want to help, I am horrible at looking at the “bright side” of things — which is what people usually need when they’re in duress in the first place.
However, if you’re looking for someone to agree with you that so-and-so’s an asshole and offer to beat that person up for you, I’m your gal.
As an extra bonus, I’ll throw in a “he’s a stupid dum dum head!” for free.
Is it just me, or are the proportions of the boys-> girls in this picture a little funny?
pictured: steve, sanny, brent, me, ken, anne
also, why can’t I stand correctly?
So I went to see The Departed
…And got carded as I walked in the door.
Okay, this is getting ridiculous… But last night I got carded as I was walking into the movie! Just me, no one else in my freaking group! One person was even under 21!]
HOLY CRAP! It’s just a rated R movie!
My friends were making fun of me. It was pretty hilarious, but man, seriously, am I getting younger each day? My boyfriend’s starting to look like a pedo walking around with me!
When asked Pirate or Ninja,
I said Ninja…
But… I ended up getting a pirate costume for halloween.
even bought teh matching socks.
The costume below was the one I was originally going to get..
But upon trying it, as cute as it looked on me,
it was too constrictive because the dress is made out of non-stretch material
and probably would be uncomfortable if worn a whole night.
I feel like I’m being a hypocrite for not choosing the more ‘ninjaesque’ costume
Pirate, or Ninja?
Oh yeah, and any suggestions for a matching costume for my boyfriend?
Things we’ve thought of: ninja, jack sparrow, peter pan, hugh heffner, naruto characters [i vote kakashi]
“No offense,
but you look like a high-school student”
A first year said to me this morning… In otherwords, I look like a high school student to an 18 year old. I’m 23. Apparently these young kids all think I’m younger than they are.
…The question is, should I be happy or upset about this? Obviously, the kid was afraid of offending me, but personally, the comment put me in a pretty good mood.
=] I can’t wait until I’m 40 and someone says to me, “No offense, but you look like you’re in college”.
Haha. Speaking of getting old, I found a wrinkle on my face the other day and FREAKED OUT.
Only, turns out it was because I had slept the wrong way. It disappeared by the night.
At my last interview, my interviewer couldn’t look past my age even though I have about 10 years of experience in my field. However, should I really look forward to the day when I stop getting carded?
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