Thursday April 12, 2007 at 07:10 am
My Anniversary
It feels longer and shorter at the same time
Yesterday marked my one year anniversary with Brent. It was an amazing night, celebrating and even more amazing year. Like him, I’ll spare you the lovey dovey stuff — I just want to say this: It’s great to be in love.
Anniversaries
I never realized until this relationship how much an anniversary date means.
In the past
In my last long term relationship there was no particular “day” that was set. It was partially due to the fact that the courting period was so long, it was hard to see where the dating part ended and the actual relationship began. Another part of it, at least in my opinion, was that the person from my previous relationship had somewhat of a commitment issue — if we had set a date, he would have looked at each landmark in an apprehensive way — especially when the numbers got bigger. [According to some friends, this pattern had been shown in a previous relationship, so I wasn’t big on pushing a ‘date’]
I think the idea behind not having a date is great, you’re supposed to be celebrating your relationship all the time, randomly, whenever you want etc. etc. But in reality, that doesn’t happen. After a while, you just take the relationship for granted. Similar to Communism, the idea is awesome, but it’s not really practical to implement.
Currently
What’s awesome and great about my current relationship with Brent is that because we have a date, we have a cause to celebrate once a month. It’s not really the number of months that we celebrate, but the day itself. Also, while we are happily together all the time, it’s nice to slow down for a bit each month and recognize that happiness amidst all of our daily stressors. Similar to church, as devout as you may be, if you don’t slow down to appreciate everything given to you it’s easier to take things for granted.
It’s also great to have a date because it’s like an “official” agreement towards starting a monogamous relationship with the other person.
When someone asks, I can say with confidence “We’ve been together for more than a year now.”
Instead of something along the lines of “Well, I’ve been committed for maybe a year now, but he might tell you eight months or so, I’m not sure, it’s how you view it”
Just not as satisfying to me, personally.
Do you think a date is important?
Or, do you consider it somewhat of a “label” that’s not really needed?
