Ahh.. Young Love

I find myself so envious of my friends. I watch them loving each other, and being happy together… And I’m happy for them… But at the same time, I’m extremely envious. It’s so strange, too.. Because now a days, people being together for 6 months or more doesn’t seem long at all… The time has been flying by so fast lately.

When I was in middle school, I always imagined that I would have a high school sweetheart. Now, here I am, a senior… And yet, I still can’t truthfully say that I’ve actually loved yet. I want to know what love feels like. How do I know? Everybody tells me I’ll just feel it.. And I’ll just know… Somehow I doubt that.

What if I’m incapable of love? What if I’m like.. some freak accident, and I’m a mutant and I’m going to be picked up by the X-MEn for someting hecka crazy or something? My imagination is running away with me again. AND I’m in one of those incoherant modes. That’s wonderful! Hah. Roite.

Ahh. Everyone seems to have found “the one” in high school for them. Whether the outcome has been good or bad, they have found “the one”. I want to find “the one”, goddamnit. I don’t want to waste this last year. I want to experience what everybody else has experience. Damnit. I want to be a conformist. I want to be like everybody else.