mirrored from madpimp.com
Issues of Image
Issues of Image
I told a friend today that I feel that I live in a facade, that I produce an image of myself for others to see… That I feel like I rarely show anyone my “real” side, my “dark” side, my “other” side. My friend told me that if you live in the facade long enough, you eventually become that facade.
Do you?
My Past
I’ve been thinking lately of what “image” is, and what it means to me. I come from a family that works in buisiness and was an integral part of the vietnamese buddhist community, so image has always been a big deal in my family. My mother, in particular, is a great perpetuator of the belief that “image” is the only way that one can get ahead in life. All throughout my youth I was dragged to one event or another, put in clothes that I didn’t want to wear, sitting stiffly in places I didn’t want to be, acting like a model child when all I really wanted to do was hang out with my friends.
Which leads me to…
Distance photo done with help by Lan.
And for anyone that might recognize it by the hair alone, yes I am dressed as Witch Hunter Robin
Everybody has an image, whether or not they are willing to accept it.
For some, image is a 24 hour upkeep. I know another person who believes image is so important that he thinks it doesn’t matter how you treat [a girl] while you’re in a relationship — as long as you give a good last impression at the end, she’ll always remember you as a good guy. His image is one of a successful man’s man, ladie’s man, man who has several women at once, good to his friends man. The epitomy of the image driven person.
For others, image comes unconsciously, like my best friend Kim. After knowing her since freshman year of highschool, I’ve come to realize she’s one of the only people that really doesn’t care about image at all. No really, at all. I totally respect her for that. But she, too, though unwilling, cannot get away from her own image. Hers [to me] is of someone with much brilliance that seems ‘boring’ (500) on the outside, but is actually an amazing person of amazing accomplishments once you get to know her. She also has a wry sense of humor.
What about me? What is the image that I portray? Is the image that I portray different than who I am? What is the image that I WANT to portray? What is the image that people see when they look at me?
Does this image define who I am?
I don’t know what I portray to other people. I don’t really even know who I am. I’m not even sure what I want to portray. I know am the person in your class whose phone always rings. I am the person that on any given day might be wearing a costume. I am the person who speaks too loudly and says the wrong things at the wrong time. I am the person whose laptop is constantly attached to her body.
A big part of me wants to tell you that I’m brilliant, in everything I try.
Really, I am.
A part of me wants to show you that I’m a ‘used to be geek turned cool but still geeky’.
A part of me wants to show you that I’m a deep introspective person.
Yet another part of me wants to show you that I’m a really good person.
An even bigger part of me wants to tell you that I’m fun to be around.
The biggest part of me wants to show you that I’ve made a difference in the world somehow.
What is it that you see?
What is it that you portray?
Additionally, I would like to personally thank everybody who put my paperdoll into your webpage. It’s become so many of you that I don’t have time to link you all now, but the notables are: Megan, Larry, Eric, Peter, Ivy, Darrell, Ferdinand, Jamie, Greg, Ferdinand, Cherry, Joy, Laura, David, Tony, Crystal, Brent, Rashmi, Brett, Micha, Tim, Nancy, and Anne. You guys (and anyone else I missed) make me feel like those hours not paying attention in class are worth it. I
Also, as a commemorative gesture, I will be adding unlockable levels to my paper doll that will be revealed at my 200,000th hit! 
The more you visit me, the sooner it will come!
