ICS = I can’t see, I can’t sleep, and I can’t shower.

if(hateICS && justStayedUpAllNight){

System.out.println(“There are days when I seriously question my reason for choosing to be an ICS (information and computer science) major. This is one of them. After spending the entire night awake, drinking coca-cola and programming while telling myself that I can eat chee-tos as soon as I finish I realized this: I really hate programming.

No really, I do… And I discovered why, too.

Programming is just about the only thing I do that I am really uncreative in. Give me an algorithm and I’ll understand its use, and I can use it in simple situations — give me a program to do where I have to think abstractly about it — fuck that shit!! On the other hand, give me a piece of fabric and some thread, and I can show you a thousand different things. Give me some words, and I’ll tell you a story. — you get the picture.

To make sure we don’t cheat, they use this one program to check for similarities between code — I’m surprised I don’t get caught for cheating because I usually just do what’s in the book…. They say that each program is as different as a fingerprint.

I guess everyone else in my class is a more creative programmer than I am.

Blah. I feel so… negative.”);

I leave you with this:

string shit(){

if(ICS && awakeAt8AM){
if(EARLY_CLASS || PROJECT || WORK || STAYED_UP_PLAYING_GAMES){
return System.out.println(“I need some fucking sleep… and I’m not going to class”);
}
}

else {
return System.out.println(“I need some fucking sleep, but I’ll consider going to class”);}

}

Caution: running this results in errors, no linebreaks, sleeping, and a lot of not going to class.