Carpet Munchers Unite!
Why do bitches all say they’re bisexual?
Bitch, you’re not bi-SEXUAL unless you’ve bi-SEXED
You can be gay and not have had sex. You can be straight and not
have had sex. But bitches, you can’t be sure you’re a bisexual
unless you have had sex-experiences with both sexes!
If you haven’t and you think you’d like it, then there’s a word for it — BICURIOUS.
Ever since I came to college, it seemed like the popular thing for
bitches to tell people is that they’re bi-sexual. I’m here to
dispell this illusion. They’re probably not — and I know this by
cold hard experience.
Sure these bitches may be willing to kiss a girl or two on drunken
nights, or grab some fuckin’ titties, but unless they’re willing to go
down, or let another girl go down, they’re not bisexual!
Why do I say this?
Because I’m fucking tired of box teases fucking every dick and harry in
sight and getting told by these guys that these chicks are bi-sexual
and getting put in the same fucking boat as these wanna-bes.
My solution
HOWEVER! All is not lost, I do have a solution to this
epidemic. That is, everyone is innocent of bi-SEXUALITY
until proven guilty.
How will I do this?
I declare today official MADPIMP.COM Box-Eating Day.
All you bitches who claim to be half-lesbos, bring your box munching skills to me!
I will be the judge and jury. I know, I’m a fucking selfless bitch — but what needs to be done has got to be done!
Now, who wants to start?
Genius of the day:
I swear, I just wrote an entire entries about bitches like you.
Girl, you’re not even part lesbo unless you munch carpet — didn’t you just read a thing I said?