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Thursday September 8, 2005 at 09:09 am

Carpet Munchers Unite!
Why do bitches all say they’re bisexual?

Bitch, you’re not bi-SEXUAL unless you’ve bi-SEXED

You can be gay and not have had sex. You can be straight and not
have had sex. But bitches, you can’t be sure you’re a bisexual
unless you have had sex-experiences with both sexes!

If you haven’t and you think you’d like it, then there’s a word for it — BICURIOUS.

Ever since I came to college, it seemed like the popular thing for
bitches to tell people is that they’re bi-sexual. I’m here to
dispell this illusion. They’re probably not — and I know this by
cold hard experience.

Sure these bitches may be willing to kiss a girl or two on drunken
nights, or grab some fuckin’ titties, but unless they’re willing to go
down, or let another girl go down, they’re not bisexual!

Why do I say this?

Because I’m fucking tired of box teases fucking every dick and harry in
sight and getting told by these guys that these chicks are bi-sexual
and getting put in the same fucking boat as these wanna-bes.


My solution

HOWEVER! All is not lost, I do have a solution to this
epidemic. That is, everyone is innocent of bi-SEXUALITY
until proven guilty.

How will I do this?

I declare today official MADPIMP.COM Box-Eating Day.


All you bitches who claim to be half-lesbos, bring your box munching skills to me!

I will be the judge and jury. I know, I’m a fucking selfless bitch — but what needs to be done has got to be done!

Now, who wants to start?


Genius of the day:

I swear, I just wrote an entire entries about bitches like you.

Girl, you’re not even part lesbo unless you munch carpet — didn’t you just read a thing I said?

wutuwaitn4 said,

September 8, 2005 @ 9:11 am

vaginal secretions!

outlawmunky said,

September 8, 2005 @ 9:14 am

Hahahahah…come on ladies….step up to the challenge and change your status from curious to sexual!

bobaChick said,

September 8, 2005 @ 9:18 am

LOL. I’ll eat you out any day. HAHAHA. Just kidding. But those were the first words to come out my mouth when I was ready to comment. O_o hahahha!!

thatyellowbastid said,

September 8, 2005 @ 9:19 am

if i were a girl i’d be bisexual for sure.

laid_backz said,

September 8, 2005 @ 9:20 am

ooooh me ~~ pick me~~ lol jk~~~~same is the case around here tooo~~~wannabe pusseaters~~~~~~~~~~~~~

shaolinLFE said,

September 8, 2005 @ 9:20 am

lets talk movie deal right now.

cloudedfuture said,

September 8, 2005 @ 9:23 am

ready when you are

swtdrmzx99x said,

September 8, 2005 @ 9:23 am

and then there are girls who like having sex with other girls but still consider themselves straight (i guess cause they like having sex with guys more?) what do you think about them?

Acekiller said,

September 8, 2005 @ 9:24 am

very interesting…

BlindButDriving said,

September 8, 2005 @ 9:25 am

Ha ha, nice. Call them out!
And to think you’re willing to give up time out of your life to help people. Superman move over.. I have a new hero.

Oboro said,

September 8, 2005 @ 9:30 am

LOL ur too much for me.

johnchen3 said,

September 8, 2005 @ 9:30 am

word…

juryduty said,

September 8, 2005 @ 9:35 am

I was box eatting champ two years in a row! 1999-2000

Contact me for a box tasting appointment, i’ll be in cali next week!
me

vytard said,

September 8, 2005 @ 9:37 am

i am half lesbo. i like to looka nd stare at hot girls. i

FsB_BeN said,

September 8, 2005 @ 9:43 am

LOL then ^ isnt anything lesbo. Geez she wrote a whole post about girls like u.

UCcowgirl23 said,

September 8, 2005 @ 9:45 am

hahahahahaha im crying over here lol

franksabunch said,

September 8, 2005 @ 9:48 am

Bisexuality doubles your chance of a date, that’s prob why they say it! 

PeacefulnSerene said,

September 8, 2005 @ 9:50 am

Been there, done that, and I enjoy being 100% Straight! :-D

HKWong34 said,

September 8, 2005 @ 9:54 am

Hey you posted up a donation thing a while ago. Is that yours or someone else’s? BBQ supposedly coming soon in a week or so. Ill call you.

CaKaLusa said,

September 8, 2005 @ 9:55 am

i smell dliciousness in the air.that last drawing looks shocking like you. @_@

jigg said,

September 8, 2005 @ 9:59 am

that’s definitely a good point.  im going to point that out next time to my bi-curious friends.
-ray leeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Keniiiiiiiiiiii said,

September 8, 2005 @ 10:02 am

i’m going to bring a box to clubbing tomorrow night, i’ll let u know the results

CuNnInG1412kId said,

September 8, 2005 @ 10:05 am

haha nice post

mrchinese said,

September 8, 2005 @ 10:14 am

my friend had a friend that flaked on her so i became backup :[

globalguy007 said,

September 8, 2005 @ 10:28 am

hahaha, so a guy that doesn’t like eating boxes either isn’t really straight! =P Every red-blooded straight man loves to munch a box!

simplyxmoi said,

September 8, 2005 @ 10:30 am

haha.

NoBackstreetboys said,

September 8, 2005 @ 10:36 am

You can much on my carpet anyday.
P.S. You still talk to that bi girl on myspace?

airina05 said,

September 8, 2005 @ 11:00 am

i enjoy oogling hot girls

ALN_with_an_E said,

September 8, 2005 @ 11:00 am

less than 3

sweeti832 said,

September 8, 2005 @ 11:13 am

LMAO !  this entry is awesome… i hate girls who claim they’re bi just b/c they think guys wanna hear that.  it’s so cliched now that i actually feel bad or the chicks who are really bi.

davidngo said,

September 8, 2005 @ 11:21 am

whatever happens, i demand you videotape it and send it to me.

gonchoi said,

September 8, 2005 @ 11:25 am

interesting… very selfless indeed… =D

amberisamusicsnob said,

September 8, 2005 @ 11:29 am

are you bi? or just lesbo? either way is cool

Jx2_66 said,

September 8, 2005 @ 11:50 am

HAHAHAHAHAHA. Can I watch? :-P

LaKerLiSa said,

September 8, 2005 @ 12:01 pm

haha random props….REAL SPIT–loves it.

gonchoi said,

September 8, 2005 @ 12:07 pm

I’ll clean your room for a favor.. *wink wink* hahah jk.. =)

OctavoDia said,

September 8, 2005 @ 12:10 pm

haha nope, 100% carpet muncher here

BlindButDriving said,

September 8, 2005 @ 12:11 pm

That qoute is from Aqua Teen Hunger Force. The show makes me laugh.. a lot. Requires no thinking whatsoever, hell, it’s probably making me more stupid daily. :D

xApHRoDiTe said,

September 8, 2005 @ 12:15 pm

Okie :)

kalamai said,

September 8, 2005 @ 12:17 pm

lol yeah! i’m sick of them bitches too!

loldavelol said,

September 8, 2005 @ 12:23 pm

lol so it’s 2:25pm now and how many times have you been munched on?  i shall check back at 11pm.

gechalx said,

September 8, 2005 @ 12:28 pm

omg this entry is soooo hawwwwwwt!! ahaha can i just watch you go down on dem bitches? ahaha =)

Keniiiiiiiiiiii said,

September 8, 2005 @ 12:31 pm

there’s the “SEX” in biSEXual for a good reason. it’s not sexual if you don’t wanna have sex with them.

sorjai said,

September 8, 2005 @ 12:42 pm

girls who check out other girls are hot :). But nah, they don’t have to be bi, hehe.And that poster is hot… it’s hanging at home in my bedroom, haha :)

chrischoi said,

September 8, 2005 @ 12:45 pm

i think i’m a lesbian.

ll_dollface_ll said,

September 8, 2005 @ 12:47 pm

hahaha wth

amberisamusicsnob said,

September 8, 2005 @ 12:54 pm

ok cool! I’m straight up straight lol

oh_snap_its_doug said,

September 8, 2005 @ 1:11 pm

random propz…i was readin ur entry and was sucked in, cuz i neva kne anyone bi or said that they where bi curious. thier where alot of gay guys at my skoo tho dont kno if they where bi. i think i need to get out more. well bye!

onestyle said,

September 8, 2005 @ 1:34 pm

Soo… you’re saying I’m not a lesbian…?

Trinity86 said,

September 8, 2005 @ 2:06 pm

interesting…

Kwazy_Fweak said,

September 8, 2005 @ 2:06 pm

I’m not a girl, but I’ll do it.

cotdamnSONN said,

September 8, 2005 @ 2:10 pm

why do i love you so much? CUZ YOU ARE FUCKING RIGHT. girls dont even know the goddamn difference.

AngryMcgee said,

September 8, 2005 @ 2:38 pm

God damn! I was wrong there is intelligence in women! Good post! Damn those psuedo/faux/trendy box munchers (what happened to carpet munching?)! It’s an effect from over exposure of media. Everyone wants to be gay even guys with their who metrosexual label. Fags.

Amavere said,

September 8, 2005 @ 2:39 pm

o.o *points* I like you!  NOW!  Have a nice day ^.~
-Ama

Onigiriman said,

September 8, 2005 @ 2:42 pm

I can’t even imagine being bicurious…

outofhere_06 said,

September 8, 2005 @ 3:01 pm

hahaha…

aydongbeeleef said,

September 8, 2005 @ 3:17 pm

meh.. it’s called being a girl in ur 20’s n having mtv

vytard said,

September 8, 2005 @ 3:51 pm

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA yes!

vytard said,

September 8, 2005 @ 3:52 pm

i feel special. i

BaBieGirL_KaTeLyn said,

September 8, 2005 @ 4:00 pm

damn vytard…you look hot…..can u love me too?!?!? mUahhahhahha

BaBieGirL_KaTeLyn said,

September 8, 2005 @ 4:04 pm

hey babe (vytard) can i watch u undress….?? damn i would love to FUCK the shit out of you….

charlie_truong said,

September 8, 2005 @ 4:08 pm

shit i dunno but i liek lezbos, not dykes!!!!! and yea if girls wanan train to be bi they can munch on these nuttz : )

lumpiablog said,

September 8, 2005 @ 4:13 pm

haha that girl just got dominated.

BaBieGirL_KaTeLyn said,

September 8, 2005 @ 4:14 pm

i dont want to bi but i like to play…. ^-~

oOclOuDNineOo said,

September 8, 2005 @ 4:16 pm

” but unless they’re willing to go down, or let another girl go down, they’re not bisexual!”…
what about those dudes and gals who don’t go down period to the opposite sex? what do you call them?
hahahaha. lovely post.

AnnaBiara said,

September 8, 2005 @ 5:03 pm

i remember when everyone had cooties and it was a sin just to touch their hand! where has that all gone?

Tsunaki36 said,

September 8, 2005 @ 5:15 pm

i like when kim swears :D

Kevin72 said,

September 8, 2005 @ 5:25 pm

Just more evidence that “everyone lies about sex”.

vytard said,

September 8, 2005 @ 5:34 pm

i never said i was a lesbo. i said HALFFFF lesbo AHAHAHA

vytard said,

September 8, 2005 @ 5:57 pm

even if i liek their boobs and butt? hahahaha but chyea i was just kiddin im not a lesbo hahaha calm yourself dude

vytard said,

September 8, 2005 @ 6:01 pm

oh and to me halfff lesbo means: you check out girls the same way guys do but you dont wanan fuk them :D youre still cute. i

itcouldbeYOU said,

September 8, 2005 @ 6:03 pm

LOL!!

CHT11 said,

September 8, 2005 @ 6:29 pm

I’m a lesbian.

Charles_King said,

September 8, 2005 @ 6:59 pm

what if i “claim” to be heterosexual… but i have not eaten “box” would that make me as a man gay? woooooo let that one marinate for a while =P

Charles_King said,

September 8, 2005 @ 7:02 pm

and just to clarify… i have not done the opposite of box eatting either…

oOclOuDNineOo said,

September 8, 2005 @ 7:26 pm

how else do you have girl on girl sex? ?_?
perhaps just do what the two girls are doing, maybe a little more extreme, minus the clothes?
girls use a lot of toys to compliment sex with one another, no? i just don’t think she is required to “carpet munch” before being deemed a “bi-sexual”
hahaha. This entry made me laugh so hard.

HKWong34 said,

September 8, 2005 @ 9:13 pm

I need those recipes.  Come over and give me the recipes!  I’m tired of my salads and plain chicken breast!  =(

gizmoduk said,

September 8, 2005 @ 11:55 pm

random prop
but…funny shitrofl

MT_Headed said,

September 9, 2005 @ 12:09 am

I’m a bit surprised none of the guys have offered to be your “cameraman” or something for the event.
Not that I would either, anyways.
At the expense of being the laughingstock of every other straight guy…. “I’m not that kind of guy”

lady_k87 said,

September 9, 2005 @ 2:21 am

good post.

MissTrials said,

September 9, 2005 @ 3:08 am

So you’re gay, huh?  Well, I’m taking the ring back for a refund. 

manatee_wannabe said,

September 9, 2005 @ 3:49 am

ha!  that is soooo hilarious.  and true.  i did try sex with a woman.  more than once, even.  it wasn’t so great.  but i don’t blame it on me NOT being bi.  i just think i haven’t done it enough, or maybe it wasn’t with the right person.  i was really in love with this one woman for a couple of years.  but she wasn’t gay or bi. 

yupitssean said,

September 9, 2005 @ 3:55 am

holy crap i think some of your comments were even more hilarious than your entry itself.  you have some fan base here shi….
you should publish this theory, it is seriously award-winning material that only geniuses comprise of.

Saneem said,

September 9, 2005 @ 4:23 am

you so totally turn me on. oh shit wait ur a lesbian

kyasha said,

September 9, 2005 @ 4:37 am

sexuality is a spectrum. it’s not that you’re completely 100% heterosexual, bisexual, or homosexual. there’s a percentage balance somewhere there.

the0n34u said,

September 9, 2005 @ 6:13 am

how do u get on featured soo easily?? lol

AmoMiNovio said,

September 9, 2005 @ 6:38 am

that post is fuck!in hilarious.. BUT TRUE.. thats awesome!!!

aLkohol101 said,

September 9, 2005 @ 6:41 am

hahaahhahaa… nice entry… very amusing… but very unexpected… but yet.. very interesting…. a box?

xilnevaehdivax said,

September 9, 2005 @ 6:50 am

lil girls are saying it too…it’s “in” to be bi-sexual…LOL!  this entry was damn funny…

mariesmist said,

September 9, 2005 @ 7:30 am

the chicks who arent really bi or lesbian that post pictures of them kissing/fondling/grinding with a female friend are annoying.  obviously attn starved.  this line from sex&the city sums it up – if you dont eat pussy, you’re not lesbian.  from the episode where charlotte tried to fit in with the lesbian art crowd.   

buddyhood said,

September 9, 2005 @ 8:09 am

ok thats just so freaking cool

Fatitude said,

September 9, 2005 @ 8:33 am

what gets me is those people who claim they’re ‘tri-sexual’…

NYCJOYCE said,

September 9, 2005 @ 8:51 am

Be sure to post the results:-P

raffus said,

September 9, 2005 @ 8:52 am

yah what’s with the lesbian fad? does it have anything to do with girl power we don’t need men kind of thing? yah lesbian action can be hot but they shouldn’t all claim to be lesbians.

xloverx4xlyphx said,

September 9, 2005 @ 9:02 am

i think this i stupied cause if they say they are bi then let them say it not that i ever have caue i have been with a girl an i aint afraide to admitt it ohkk well yeah an if they want to say sumthing then let them say it let them screw up them selfs me personley i aint got problems with girls or guys . but ya know i mean let them dew wht they wanna dew
                              KELLY

rachel_capon said,

September 9, 2005 @ 9:24 am

i agree with you!

rachel_capon said,

September 9, 2005 @ 9:25 am

i agree! bi-curious is not the same as bi-sexual. withouth the experience, and liking the experience…you ain’t bi.

Happy_Days_Fonzie said,

September 9, 2005 @ 9:29 am

Ayyyyyyyyyyyy!

BonaMana said,

September 9, 2005 @ 9:38 am

Hmmm you are right…Though i never said i am bisexual or anything of the kind..Its weird, but im 23 and i just started having curious thoughts about girls..it feels wrong… but..cant deny.. i find myself checking out more girls than guys..hmmm girl+girl…i wonder what it fells like..

shrek_azn said,

September 9, 2005 @ 10:01 am

LOL

darkangel154 said,

September 9, 2005 @ 10:15 am

hello cool site

poetinme said,

September 9, 2005 @ 10:39 am

sooo true..I HATE that!

WehoRoy said,

September 9, 2005 @ 11:01 am

this post is actually pretty damn funny shi

MonkeysJungle said,

September 9, 2005 @ 11:20 am

That’s an awesome post! So true :-D

azntennisbuff said,

September 9, 2005 @ 3:40 pm

Hahahaha, thats really funny, and very true! lol  Nice xanga btw.

fading_into_your_shadow said,

September 9, 2005 @ 6:39 pm

‘Ha ha, nice. Call them out!And to think you’re willing to give up time out of your life to help people. Superman move over.. I have a new hero.’- Blind But DrivingI agree. Save me. lol

iheartmytoes said,

September 9, 2005 @ 7:43 pm

Thank you for that. Maybe one day people will understand their sexual nature. There are four catagories, in all honesty: gay, straight, bi and confused. More-so than what is thought are the latter.
You go and put them in their places!

aznboi2flyhigh said,

September 9, 2005 @ 7:58 pm

dang almost everyone about all this bisexual, stalking,  and 100% straight on this pg like me and my friends were talking about whan the girls do it look a little right but hell! whan guys do it fuk that make me break out laughing and sick

aznboi2flyhigh said,

September 9, 2005 @ 8:00 pm

but hey thats what i think

bebe_dior said,

September 9, 2005 @ 8:08 pm

cute page! giving you props…

jinnsdare said,

September 9, 2005 @ 8:39 pm

let’s have fun biatch..aw fk..im lesbo already. =P..newho ur hot =P

Toransu said,

September 9, 2005 @ 8:59 pm

LMAO. Great rant, finally something that isn’t pathetic featured on Xanga. Subscribing for more posts like this in the future. ^^

withinsanity said,

September 9, 2005 @ 11:02 pm

I think a lot of girls just say they’re bisexual to appeal to guys. It’s pretty sad. I agree – drunken kisses and groping do NOT count.

TRANCEROCK said,

September 10, 2005 @ 3:02 am

LOL      Amen!

HoEzHaTah said,

September 10, 2005 @ 7:13 am

hahaha .. ok.. hey, I’m NOT BI, I’m straight-up lesbian.. so when can we start ?.. hahaha… jk

XxFlyHighxX said,

September 10, 2005 @ 10:12 am

i still consider myself straight despite having sex with both genders.

candidShotS said,

September 10, 2005 @ 3:11 pm

i have a question, if you havent gone down on a girl, but fingered are you bisexed? or just bi-foreplayed?

Chellalala said,

September 11, 2005 @ 3:18 am

i met a girl at the bar the other night who kept making out with her frenz..so I propositioned her.. she said yea I’m bi but I just do it for fun..i was about to slap the bitch..fu*kn’ TEASE!..excellent postin’

aznv1ru5 said,

September 11, 2005 @ 3:51 pm

Lovin the raw posts, keep it up. Every site should have some form of fan bashing for stupid comments, well for those of us who do get comments. God knows I don’t. You know I think you should definitely keep that “Genius of the day” traditional with every post.
Keep rack’n em in, I’ll be back around.

chocolatekisseseyes said,

September 24, 2005 @ 9:53 am

So what about three-some experiences? I have gone down on a few other girls (bitches wouldn’t go down on me!!) but only in three-somes with my signifcant male other. I want to have girl-on-girl only sex, but i don’t want to date a girl.Just some random f*k, you know? Do you consider this bi-sexual? 

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