It’s a new feeling, waking up in the morning with feeling that someone out there… someone you know… has gone through the same emotions you have. It makes me feel not so little, not so helpless. Things were finally put into a perspective that I could grasp. I feel as if I’ve never truly dealt with my inner feelings before.

I know I’ve never cried the way I did. I’ve never been able to just keep crying without trying to hold it back in fear that somebody would walk in. I’ve never been able to talk about what’s inside of me without the fear of that people would turn away from me — or that I would be put into a mental hospital permanantly.

College has been so many new experiences to me. My first drink. My first laundry. My first time being truly frustrated with my classe. My first time finding someone I could truly talk to.

At the same time, it hurts to know that someone has been through the same — if not worse– emotions that I have. It hurts me to know that there are other people who suffer. When I see people hurting, I want to take all of their hurt into myself and bury it there with everything else. I’m used to it enough myself, you know?

He made me listen to him last night. He didn’t just give me advice and prattle on in a way that made me drift off and forget what he said. He forced me to hear his words and to understand the meanings behind his words. It was harsh and difficult to listen to and truly absorb, but I think I needed it.