when the god-like guise of the internet is taken away and we once again become human — when people and places that we read about suddenly become real… what does it all mean? does it mean that we now know each other better because we read each other’s most intimate thoughts? or that we’re more prone to suspicion, hurt, anger and betrayal because of it.

what happens when you fool yourself into believing that the person you read about is the same person that you’re meeting? what happens when those beautiful thoughts, wonderful writing, and confused soul begins to wreck havoc in your world?

would you be able to leave it– this thing that causes you so much pain that you hold so dearly to your soul? would you come back again… saying to yourself “this time it’s different” though you know it’s the same as before?

and what of that person who is causing the trouble? do they know how much pain they’re causing you? no. their internet personae makes it seem as if nothing is their fault. it reminds me of a symptom my friends and i used to make fun of. it’s called “i’m always the victim, without exception”.

take away the internet guises and what do we have remaining? people who are scared, love to much and too little at the same time, give their hearts to the wrong people.

of course, this could just be delerium talking. too much medication and whatnot. i hate the random shit that goes through my mind.