“Why is it that people with Asian Parent Syndrom simply refuse to change? It’s not like it’s a hard thing to get rid of. I’ve been in 3 relationships with girls who all suffered from APS and its been the same every time.”
“It’s harder than you think to break away. It’s something that’s ingrained from you from childhood. This is the color blue. This is a lamp. This is a TV. You’re stupid. You’re a loser. You’ll never amount to anything.”
“I don’t think it’s that way.”
“That’s the way it is.”
“No.”
“This is stupid. Why are you trying to claim to know my situation when you don’t?”
“I do. I’ve seen it many times.”
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You need to learn more, because what you said shows that you’re truly ignorant about the psyche and also the people who live their lives within the said ‘APS’. You think you have it all figured out, but you will never understand it unless you’ve lived through it.
I also really don’t appreciate the fact that you acted like you know me and you know what I’m going through. Just because Asian parents have similar child-raising styles and whatnot, it doesn’t mean that they’re exactly alike and neither are the people you’ve been with or me.
We’re not alike, though your mind would like you to put all of us asians who have gone through rough parenting into the same category. It’s different for everybody and it’s different for me.
There’s only one person I’ve ever met that’s ever been able to understand what I’ve gone through. And it’s not you, so don’t try to give me that “Yes, I know” shit, because you can’t know unless you’ve been through the same type of thing or worse.
It’s not just parents, either, it’s everything put together with mental imbalances that causes the pain.
When you haven’t experienced, you can’t understand, you can only pity empathize and sympathize. But you will never know because you never lived it.
You probably think that it’s not that hard to figure out. You think you see it clearly, and that’s the way it is for most problems from the outside. But when you enter the problem it becomes a tangled web of this and that, and it’s not all just yes no right or wrong.
And I know this is probably just going over your head, and no matter what I say you’ll probably be like “yeah, i know i understand… but..” But I want you to know that you really don’t understand, and I can tell by what you said today that you probably never will.
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In the future, I’d appreciate it if you wouldn’t judge me my parents and what I’m going through from posts I make on the website because it’s not the full picture and it’s simply the place where I express myself. Consider it a privilidge that you’re allowed to look into my life, but don’t use it as a tool that you can use to “know” me or try to give me pointers on how to live my life, because that’s what you were doing, implicit though it may have been.
I hate it when people do that. You’ve only known me for two weeks and you think you have me all figured out and you’re already commenting about my life as if you’re so familiar with it. That’s the biggest load of shit I’ve ever heard in my life.
If you’re going to be that way, you might as well stop talking to me because that’s not the kind of friend I want.