Archive for Rigamarole
Tuesday March 15, 2005 at 02:46 pm
Big day!:
If I were a hobbit, right now I would be setting aside my things as gifts to all my friends and readers,and preparing for the Great Feast tomorrow. Unfortunately, I’m not a hobbit — so I’ll have to settle with my gift to everyone being a release of my past posts from protected, and look forward to my Great Feast called “Skit Practice”.
What I mean to say is…
Tomorrow on March 16, 2005, I will officially turn 22.
Memories:
Since turning 22 is kind of a boring topic, and I really don’t have any idea of what is in store for me. I decided to write about what I DO know. — Things I will miss and/or remember about turning 21.
Five things I will remember about being 21:
1. My first strip club experience at Crazy Horse II in Vegas!
2. Using the excuse, “I didn’t know I couldn’t do that, I just turned 21.”
3. Feeling powerful when I could buy things for my underaged friends.
4. Gambling for the first time in Vegas.
5. Pulling my ID card out to show people even when they don’t ask, screaming “I’M 21!!!”
Presents!:
The best present I can get is the gift of love, friendship and well wishes from you guys on my birthday…
But, if that’s not enough for you… I’ve made two wishlists.. 
You can feel free to send me presents for my birthday!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!
p.s. a huuge shoutout to SUP007 for his birthday tribute to me. 
best birthday present ever.
Thursday March 10, 2005 at 09:25 pm
Plagiarism
As all of you know, I tend to be fairly harsh on people who use my words and/or images. For example, what I did to this girl who copied one of my posts, pictures and all directly onto her site. She had the pleasure of opening up her page to see a big hairy cock jizzing all over her face.
 My original |
 Her-before |
 Her-after |
For the full story behind that incident, click here.
Ah, the memories.
Anyhow, onto the good stuff.
I have an EVIL TWIN: x_deviance
Click link to see original saved on my server (She has changed some posts on her page… this is the original page that I saw)
Now, it’s come to my attention that I have a long-lost twin. Not to say that we look alike or anything, but apparently we are of the same mind and soul. Almost.. It’s always almost, but not quite. How do I know that? Well, let’s take a look!
Amazing Co-incidence #1
Let’s start small. As I loaded her site, I heard an oh-too familiar sound. The sound of CRIMSON Room loading. Wow! I think, this girl thinks like me, she has Crimson Room on her site, just like me. Intriguing.
 My original February 23, 2003 |
 X_deviant March 08, 2005 |
Amazing Co-incidence #2
This girl has the same ideas as me on depression!
(read my original entry by here)
My words (february 18,2005):
It’s funny, that depression can feel easy. Sometimes it really is, though. Easier to be depressed than happy.
Her words (march 02, 2005):
Sometimes, i would much rather be depressed. it’s so0o much easier that way.
My words (february 18, 2005):
Depression I don’t have to work at, depression doesn’t take extra thought, extra care, extra effort. Happiness is something I must constantly fuel with things, people, activities.
Her words (march 02, 2005):
Why? because happiness is so tremendously harder to fuel.. to maintain.
There’s more, but I won’t bore you with the details.
At this point you’re probably thinking that I’m overly paranoid and am ready to lash out at people for small things. Perhaps you are right… But there’s more!
Amazing Co-incidence #3
We are both apparently fond of doing Xanga-related video game spoofs… WOW!! Click here for this original post.
 My original February 21, 2005 |
 X_deviant March 08, 2005 |
And finally, I saved the best for last…
Amazing Co-incidence #4
WE HAVE THE EXACT SAME PICTURES AND POSES… Click here for this original post.
 My original Februrary 19, 2005 |
 x_deviant February 28, 2005 |
 My original Februrary 19, 2005 |
 x_deviant February 28, 2005 |
 My original Februrary 19, 2005 |
 x_deviant February 28, 2005 |
 My original Februrary 19, 2005 |
 x_deviant February 28, 2005 |
I’m being unfair. There WERE some differences.
My original Februrary 19, 2005
x_deviant February 28, 2005
She ALMOST gave me credit… but she forgot!
Funnily enough.. she actually did mention that she got the “IDEA” from somebody.
She wrote: “i just thought i’d give you a tour of my room. i got this idea from a website i read not too long ago. i’d give credit, but i forgot whom to give credit to.. soo… sorry.”
So… She remembered to put herself in a bathing suit… To make a tour like mine.. AND TO EVEN HAVE A STORY LINE WITH PICTURES AND POSES EXACTLY LIKE MINE… Side by side. But she didn’t remember who I was? Even if she had just saved all my pictures as references — MY DOMAIN NAME IS ON THE FRICKIN WATERMARK! HOW HARD IS THAT TO REMEMBER? YOU DONT EVEN HAVE TO REMEMBER! YOU JUST HAVE TO READ!! GOD DAMN BITCH!
*breathe* ok… *breathe*
I also find it funny that she wrote this BEFORE ALL OF THE OFFENSES OCCURED. So she ‘forgot’… 4 times! ON DIFFERENT DAYS!
Yeah.. so the first three I could have tolerated. Taken it as a coincidence. But that last one was a doozy. The funniest part is that of the 5 posts on her page, there are posts taken from 4 of my posts.
How about this for an offer, x_deviance — you can just PAY me, and then I’ll do your posts FOR YOU. A-la high-school style. I GUARANTEE you’ll get more visitors that way.
In the end, I would like to say:
Congratulations, x_deviance, on your great achievements.
Not many people get featured on my site much less get a whole post about themselves!
For that, I give you a round of applause for being an almost — but not quite! — complete plagiarizer of my site. Too bad you didn’t do the posts better than me, otherwise I would have given you many props, twin sister.
I would also like to give you this complimentary gift — MY DICK IN YOUR MOUTH!
My original March 9, 2005
The greatest irony will be if X_deviance decides to write a copy of THIS post! I can’t wait to see what you come up with, MY EVIL TWIN SISTER!
PLEASE feel free to take my complimentary gift and post it on your page!
EDIT #1// I FEEL SO POWERFUL! LESS THAN 15 MINUTES AFTER I POSTED THIS SHE TOOK ALL OFFENSIVE POSTS DOWN!– SUCK IT, BIATCH!
Edit #2// Wow! 1 hour after posting, she moved her whole site!
P.S. For those of you who are not and still want to be on my protected list, please write “p.s. you make my nipples hard” at the end of your comment. — The way to find out is easy: is the post directly beneath this one labled “protected”? if not, then you are not on my protected list.
P.P.S. I am also VERY sorry for not commenting or replying to any e-mails of late. I haven’t really been on my computer except to write. I am currently re-reading Wheel of Time series by Robert Jordan in preparation for Book 11 that is coming out Fall 2005. Each book is around 700 pages and I’ve read 6 of them in the last 2 or 3 weeks. Needless to say, I’ve been occupied.
Wednesday March 9, 2005 at 02:21 pm
There is nothing I hate more than plagiarism… as you guys probably remember.
Possibly enough to come out of hiding.
Actually, highly likely.
I might have lost some of the evidence though…
But if I find it, assholes will be torn asunder.
And it will be good.
Friday March 4, 2005 at 05:56 pm
mirrored on madpimp.com
You asked for it!
so here it is…
KimArt part 1
BTW, I can’t even begin to describe how good it feels to me to post more than once a day. =D YEAH BABY YEAH! No more ‘saving for a rainy day’… I’m just gonna write whatever the fuck i want all the fuckinluckinchuckin day long. And you can’t do nothin’ about it.
And it hasn’t even been 12 hours since the last time I wrote.
I call this one, “Helpless”
This image occured to me in a sudden vision. The image portrayed is almost exactly what I saw in the vision, which isn’t usually the case. I remember geometric shapes in the background too , but I couldn’t remember exactly how they looked like, so i settled with grime. It’s not necessarily a self-portrait, but I’m sure we’ve all felt this way sometimes.
And it hurts.
p.s. female.
Friday March 4, 2005 at 07:27 am
Mirrored from madpimp.com
New phobia!
For those of you that know me, you know that I have a lot of weird quirks. For those of you that don’t know me… Let me tell you, I have a lot of weird quirks.
For example – I absolutely detest people who touch me on the neck from behind — especially as a surprise “massage” or as a “what’s up” or ANYTHING like that. It freaks me out like no other. I was seriously mad at a friend of mine for weeks just because he surprised me that way. Yeah — don’t touch my neck if you can help it.
Next, I’m completely terrified of going down stairs. Especially in the dark. Unless I’m in a hurry, I like to hold on to the rail and look at every single step before I get down. It freaks me out! I hate that shit. Once, I was walking down a flight of stairs in a house, and my friend turned off all the lights and I just stood in the middle of the stairs and started to cry. HA! I’m such a freak.
I hate lighting fires. This probably has to do with the fact that I burned my eyelid (still got a scar) with an incense stick at the age of 5 while praying. Ok, somehow kim= no motor skills. I was bowing down and didn’t bow down the incense at the same time. LAME! But, though the wound faded I still hate lighting fires like no other. At least with matches and lighters. I’m ok with those gas? propane? powered thingies that look like little fire guns, where it’s controllable and the fire is well away from my fingers.
So I guess it shouldn’t surprise me — but today I discovered not for the first time that I am absolutely and completely terrified of the sight of blood.
Especially my own.
Today I was at the doctor’s to get a checkup because I’ve been feeling ultra fatigued ever since I got sick. She said it might be the sick, but better take some blood tests to make sure nothing’s wrong with me (cross your fingers for cancer!). Anyhow, so I ended up having to take a blood test, which I haven’t since September.
Last time I had a chatty lady who talked to me for about half an hour before drawing my blood for a ridiculously long period of time and left a bruise the size of a quarter on my inner arm. I was so weak afterwards that i just sat there for like 5 minutes.
For today, I had an old asian guy who told me to sit still and look the other way. Within 1 minute it was over! Somehow he had taken 4 vials from my arm without me even noticing. However, this time along with the shakiness of the experience I ended up turning to see 4 vials of my own blood just laying around on the table next to me.
I thought I was going to scream… or puke.. or a little bit of both.
I really need to be less weak minded. I’m still shaky now and it’s been 45 minutes since the whole ordeal. At least there’s barely a bruise this time. –Is it normal to bruise after getting your blood drawn?
Also, is it normal to be afraid of so many things?
P.S. Lately I’ve been doing a lot of artwork.. Who thinks I should post some up? It’s kind of not my stee-lo to post up actual art not stick figures, but if you’re curious add an “oh kim, you’re such a bunghole” at the end of your comment. Thanks. Toodles!
P.P.S. This was too funny not to post:
 hey~
i have a weird phobia too EVERYONE makes fun of me for it… i have a button phobia… I CANT TOUCH THEM!! its so gross to me iono why i dont like how they look n i dont like how they feel ew ew my frend said someday hes gonna collect a buncha buttons and dump them on me while im sleepin…i would have a breakdown… “oh kim you’re such a bunghole” |
Wednesday March 2, 2005 at 02:43 pm
Xanga-only: A Kim-style book review.
2001.11.29
“hi, my name is k_ and i’m an alcoholic.” how long have you been drinking? about two or three months. how many times have you drank since then? about four or five times. that’s not addiction! then why am i so scared?
every day i get such a strong craving for alcohol that it makes me cringe. every time i feel as if i’m in pain, i feel sick, i feel emotional, my first thought becomes ‘i’d really like a smirnoff right now to calm me down’. i used to be the same way towards coffee.
what is this compulsiveness inside of me that causes me to think these things? if i could, i’d drink myself into a hole and drown myself in a watery pool of booze. what kind of alcohol? any kind. it doesn’t matter. bring it on! — well, with the exception of beer, because i can taste the fermentation in that.
i don’t want to be an alcoholic, but i think if i drink anymore i will be. maybe i should take a few swigs of vodka and i’ll be able to think better. good thing we have no alcohol in our room.
incidentally, does my subconscious purposely search for men in which the relationship will be one sided?
posted by Kim Nguyen at 7:48 PM
Four years ago I wrote this and still I am none the wiser. Still I feel addicted to the drugs that have held me in the past. Still at night sometimes I wonder who I can call, if I can find the courage to call, to make the feelings go away.
Before I start, I’ll tell you now that nothing I’ve tried or am attached to was ever physically addictive besides alcohol. No meth, coke, crack, heroin, whatever. And yet, I still yearn for it. Psychological addictions can be just as dangerous.
Last night at the book store I picked up a book in the Teen section [what was I doing there?] with the huge title “CRANK” on the front and nothing else. I said to myself, “This can’t really be about crank”… but the way the letters were written in powder on the cover… I knew before I even opened it what it was about.
The first chapter
(i dont think i have the formatting right, but i’ll fix it as soon as i get my hands on the book) :Life was good
before I
met
the monster.
After,
life
was great.
At
least
for a little while.
The story, written in disjointed, almost poetic, verse form took me through a journey of a downward spiral after she meets the “monster”, crank itself.
There are descriptions in this book that shook me to the bone.
They touched me and reminded me of feelings I thought I left. And even as I read the book, as I read about her sniffing her life away through a cut straw, I felt my sinuses twinge, taunting me about what I will never have again.
Funny, this book is to ward people AWAY from drugs.
This book is a amazing, and I feel so lucky to have mistakely come across it, to have bought it on a whim, to have read it in a whirlwind of 2 hours. It spoke to me, it called to me, it soothed me, and it lit me on fire.
For those whose lives have never been affected by drugs, this book will show you in so many words why you should stay away from them…
For those whose lives have been affected by drugs yet have never experienced them, maybe give you a better understanding about why people do… And make the blaming and accusing eyes you give them a little bit softer.
For those whose lives have been affected by drugs and have lived through them, experienced them to the bone — this book will take you back to those times, those swirling nights and days and nights and nights and more nights. And at the end, you will be thankful that those nights have not darkend your life the way it has the people in this book.
And for those of you who are still in that life… Read it, and see what may be.
——
I need a drink. Patron anyone?
——
More exerpts from the book:
No Time Like That First Time
Fire!
Your nose ignites,
flameless kerosene
(and, some say, Drano)
laced with ephedrineyou want to cry
powdered demons bite
through cartilage and sinuses
take dead aim at your
brain, jump inside
want to scream
troops of tapping feet
fall into rhythm,
marking time, right
between your eyes
get the urge to dance
louder, louder, ultra
gray-matter power,
shock waves of energy
mushroom inside your head
you want to let go
detonate
annihilate barriers,
bring down the walls,
unleashing floodwaters,
freeing long-captive dreams
to ride the current
through
arteries and capillaries,
pushing, rushing,
raging torrents
pounding against your heart
sweeping you away.
Wednesday March 2, 2005 at 02:05 pm
Xanga-Only (aren’t you the special ones?)
I know I know, valentine’s day is over… I wrote this a long time ago and never had the courage to post it. Hope you enjoy.
Can love be for friends?
When I was much younger, I had a friend that I thought would be my friend forever. We did a lot together, and we pretty much always got along with each other really well. One day she was no longer my friend.
I don’t really remember what happened anymore… but I remember crying many nights because she was gone. All attempts to rekindle our relationship were halfhearted and shallow. Our friendship was never the same, and we will never again be the way we once were (at least the way I thought we were… She may have felt differently about me.)
I’ve been thinking about this recently. When I review the facts, it sounds almost exactly the way I would have reacted towards a boyfriend or a significant other of some sort. Even now, when I think about her, a certain fondness arises in my heart, along with some pain and regret.
Did I love her as a friend? I don’t doubt that at one point in time she was closer in my heart than any sibling I ever had. The sad part is that it’s been at least 3 years since the last time I talked to her, and at least 5 years since the last time I really spoke to her.
Why am I not over this yet?… Which brings me to my next question….
Do you fall out of love?
I’ve been accused of being unable to let go of old flames. People have told me that they feel like I’ve never gotten over my past loves, and therefore cannot move on to new ones. However, this is not the way I see it.
I believe that once you really fall in love with someone, that feeling will never go away. You will always have moment at which you fall in love with someone. The memories that you hold of that person, and the things you thought of them, and the feelings you have towards them at that moment, will always be the same. That love doesn’t fade because the past cannot be changed.
The past can be tainted by actions and words later on in the relationship, but for me, once the harshness of those actions and words fade away, only the lovely memories remain, and the love is still there.
I don’t fall out of love, I just learn to accept that a person is not right for me, and never will be.
However, this poses a problem with new potential loves… There are many out there who don’t hold the same feelings as I do, and feel that I need to fall out of love before I can fall back in…. And then, there are others who are understanding and patient with my psychosis… And then, there are those that I can’t share anything with.
How do you feel about love?
—-
Related subjects for the future:
There is no quota for love.
Love for each person is different as the two people themselves.
Wednesday February 23, 2005 at 02:02 pm
naked! i’m naked! everything is naked! www.madpimp.com
Soon this space will become a space for fictional stories.
If you still would like to delve deeper into my psyche than my imagination will show
leave a comment to view my protected posts.
meanwhile, you can go to www.madpimp.com
[edit] holy cow. you guys made me exceed my 50gb of bandwidth. crazy bitches! [/edit]
Wednesday February 23, 2005 at 11:57 am
http://www.madpimp.com to find me.
Also, my roommate Ivy just got in a car accident. I think she’s OK, but pray for her anyway.
