Archive for Rigamarole
February 6, 2005 at 5:18 pm · Filed under Rigamarole
SuperBOWL! Black VS. HelloKitty
Those of you that know me, know that I do not keep up with sports a lot. But even I, the sportless Kim pays attention to the superbowl. That is why, in the middle of the superbowl I am giving my play by play analysis of the game.
Today’s players:
Black Bowl
Hello Kitty Bowl
They appear to be very evenly matched. One, cute and sassy, the other one chiq and sophisticated.
Let’s see what happens.
First Play
Looks like it’s gonna be a close match guys. Both teams are really aiming for that orange! OOOOOHHHHH CRAP! GOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAL!! Hello Kitty gets it in and the crowd goes WILD!!
First Point Replay
Break
Here’s a shot of the player’s friends and family: All decked out in team colors!
Family
Second Play
The competition is fierce now. What is black gonna do? Uh oh.. uh oh… They’re getting closer. OH! I have NEVER seen a COVER like that! Man, what an exciting game this is turning out to be.
Hello Kitty
WOW, This game is turning out to be really exciting! I am going to start to watch and stop blogging about it. SO…. it’s time for YOU to tell me…
Who do you think is gonna win?!
February 5, 2005 at 7:39 pm · Filed under Rigamarole
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Great Expectations
“Expectations are the root of disappointment”
I read that somewhere recently on a black blog in red letters. It struck me as trite but the idea has stuck to me somehow.
And now I have this indescribable urge to write about it. So call me trite if you will, but let me continue…
Valentines day I believe that every year on valentines day, the sentiment of expectations being the root of disappointment is fully explored, not only by disappointed people in relationships, but also by singles.
People In Relationships
This goes without saying. I mean, this is pretty obvious — people (especially girls) expect a big to-do from their ‘boo’ on Valentine’s day and are subsequently disappointed when this doesn’t happen.
I’ve been a victim to that situation myself.
A long long time ago, the first time I had a boyfriend on Valentines day, I spent the whole day making 2 dozen chocolate hershey kiss roses and baking a huge amount heart, star, and moon shaped sugar cookies coverd in pink red and white sprinkles. I still have the sprinkles.
I arrived at his house exicted and full of expectations of what the night had in store… Only to spend a good portion of the night sitting in his room watching him play the Warcraft3 beta that I had given him only 2 days before.
Since, I’ve learned to understand that life is better lived when you don’t have expectations of grandeur.
What many girls (and I) sometimes fail to realize is that despite all of the media hype, a celebration of your relationship and a celebration of your love can happen any day, it doesn’t have to be a special day, and especially not a day designated by society as a day of ‘love’. What makes that day more special than any other day? Especially if it doesn’t have any significance to you?
And despite what happened on that valentines day, I had many, many beautiful memories with that boy that are not attached to any pieces of media hype.
Still, it’s hard to not be swept up by all the things on television.
Singles
Harder still, I think is life on singles during the time of this holiday.
Though Valentine’s day has jokingly been called “Singles Appreciation Day” aka “S.A.D.”, it’s not hard to see why.
Even the people on television who are fake single act lonely on Valentine’s day. The hype starts as soon as February begins and all the TV stations begin airing “romantic episodes” of shows and commercials become sappy and lovey dovey, and images of diamonds, chocolate, flowers and teddy bears are all over everything that you see.
You see it all the time on TV shows, people scrambling for valentines.. like Friends, Sex and the City, to name a couple.
All of a sudden, it’s not even your own expectations that are causing you disappointment.
It’s society’s expectations.
It’s hard enough dealing with the shit you put on yourself, but put that with the pressure that society puts on you to have a significant other or at least someone to share the night with on the 14th, you begin to get desparate.
You start looking for any bitch that might spend time with you on that night (remember Chandler and Janice on Friends?), doesn’t matter how much he/she shit on your heart or if you cared for him/her at all. Who cares? As long as you have something to show for that night, to fulfill society’s expectation that everybody needs a valentine to be happy.
Now, this isn’t a rail against those people who DO do something romantic on Valentines day. I think it’s cool to plan ahead and do something amazing for each other, etc etc. I think it really shows a person’s dedication if they try to make an amazing night.
I don’t diss the celebration of love. I think any celebration of love is beautiful. I think that couples should celebrate their love more often than one day a year… that people should always be thinking of ways to make their significant others smile.
I even think valentines day is fun to celebrate.
My question is, what is the urge that causes us to want to do it on the same day? Is there some kind of psychological thrill that people get from knowing that there’s millions of other people enjoying their love, while still more are suffering because of it?
Why does our society, our media, our heart (even my heart…) build up so much expectation and anticipation for a day that, really, doesn’t even have very much significance?
. A good answer for me and I will give you a cookie
Love,
Kim
shitlinks:[x] [x] [camville] [camwhores]
February 4, 2005 at 5:58 pm · Filed under Rigamarole
Kim = Sick
post.script. Just got back from the doctor.
I have pneumonia!
YAY!
Jump for JOY
post.post.script. give me eprops for health.
post.post.post.script. i
February 3, 2005 at 5:05 pm · Filed under Rigamarole
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Internet Impersonations
Finally, a serious topic.
What is it about the relative anonymity and largeness of the Internet that makes people believe they can get away with using someone else’s picture as a mask or, in my eyes even worse, blatant plagiarism.
I mean, seriously, even considering the gigantic size of the internet, with the speed at which information travels, it is possibly EASIER now to catch these imposters that are trying to do these heinous crimes.
Maybe it’s just me.
You might be wondering what has caused me to go into this self-righteous tirade… So let me tell you.
Yesterday, not once, but TWICE I got notice of two different people using something that was MOST DEFINATELY mine and calling it their own.
Case Example #1
‘REIKO’ aka MMORPG imposter – FFXI
A couple months back I had a friend IM me out of nowhere after 3 years of not talking to me to ask if I played FFXI (Final Fantasy XI). Of course, I replied truthfully, “No.”
“Weird. I think someone’s using your picture on this forum.”
“WHAAAT?”– After seeing this, I immediately signed up for the forum, wrote a note on the page and notified the administrators. The picture was taken away.
Case Example #2
‘REIKO’ aka MMORPG imposter (AGAIN!) – WOW
Yesterday I got an IM from someone I didn’t know. They said something along the lines of “Do you play WoW?” Again, I replied truthfully, “No.”
“Weird. I think someone’s using your picture on this forum.”
“WHAAAT?”
Ok, I really don’t know what I can do at this point. I want to do something evil, but there’s no way that I can find this girl. It makes me wonder how many MMORPG sites I’m actually on.
CLICK HERE TO VIEW ACTUAL PAGE
Case Example #3
Give her 0 e-props.
It’s funny, because I got notification that there was somebody out there who had a post that was remarkably similar to my “Kim’s Socially correct Greetings”.
Remember this post anybody? 
it was only like, last week.
So anyhow, I went to this site, and lo and behold!!
All look same!
Well, not exactly, she actually took the time to get rid of the “Kim” part, and she also added another, 7th greeting (a TOTALLY ugly imitation of my beautiful stick figures, I might add) with the tree to boot.
However, as i read and re-read this entry, there was no sign anywhere of crediting me as the original author. So sad, but true.
The funny part was that the images themselves were still directly linked from my server. So, being the passive agressive bitch I am, instead of actually confronting her about it, I decided to play a little game I call “How many times a day does she look at her site?
I replaced ALL the images that were being taken (Wow, she was even using bandwidth that I pay for!)… So the site ended up looking something like this:
Oh yeah baby. Divine retribution. Revenge = Sweet.
————
The funny thing is, right afterwards, she tried to make nice with me by commenting with this:
 |
oops sry for not crediting at the end of my post, didn’t really think of it at the time…anyways, how’d you make those gifs? i was thinking flash, but i’m so computer illiterate i wouldn’t know one program from another..haha
|
…right. She had the time to think of taking my name off, and to add another greeting and DRAW it, but she didn’t think of crediting me? Ha.
Likely story. Really, how stupid does she think I am?
Sorry, biatch! No eprops for you!
———–
Today’s question: Has this shit ever happened to you? Stories!
Good ones will be put up, and you will be linked!
———–
In other news… Check out this awesome new sex product for ridiculously lazy people:
Lazy People Sex
NOT SAFE FOR WORK!
Love,
Kim
shitlinks:[x] [x] [camville] [camwhores]
February 2, 2005 at 5:03 pm · Filed under Rigamarole
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Kim = Pervert since childhood?
I prefer the word “Genius”
Since even many of my “old” readers haven’t known me for very long, and almost nobody I know knows me from childhood, I thought I would share with you guys a glimpse of what I was like when I was a kid. I have some pretty funny ass stories from childhood, so expect more in the future.
LET ME WARN YOU! I was a weird kid.
———–
So, today’s story is about a game I created as a child at Rosemary Elementary School in fourth grade. The greatest game of all time:
Butt Tag
EST 1992
Here’s the premise of butt tag:
Instead of tagging people like normal, as the name indicates, you have to tag them on the butt. BUT! The thing is, it has to be a full butt slap, not just a brush against their ass.
There are a few rules:
1. Base is anywhere. You must squat with your butt on the floor for base. You can only be in “base” position for 5 seconds. Otherwise, your ass is mine.
2. “It” is first chosen by height.
3. As soon as “It” tags the next person, “It” has to sit down on base — because there ARE tagbacks.
In case you are still confused, here are a couple illustrations demonstrating the playing of butt tag.
Game Premise
Base
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is BUTT TAG.
Feel free to introduce this game and play it with your friends.
——–
A word of warning, though. You may not want to play this on elementary school grounds (especially if you’re an adult) because this is what happened to me about a week after I started butt tag. 
“This game is inappropriate behavior!”
P.S. To the
person who did this when I was in the bathroom… You’re gonna get it GOOOOD next time.
Love,
Kim
shitlinks:[x] [x] [camville] [camwhores]
February 1, 2005 at 5:46 pm · Filed under Rigamarole
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Kim’s Greatest Invention Idea
The other day I read somewhere that the reason for the increase of great big fat asses (you know, the kind that knocks shit over when you’re walking) is because these days everyone has desk jobs.
This might seem trivial to you, but it really is a problem! You see, because we sit for 8 hours a day, the fat in our body tends to slide and settle to the lowest, closest point. This being our ass.
This information scared me to no end. The following is a true documentation of what I (as a programmer) will look like in 10 years if something is not done:
While panicking about the demise of my body, a few thoughts occured to me:
1. I already have a fat ass
2. What if I made it so that the fat went somewhere else?
3. What if I made it so that the fat went to my titties?
This created a chain reaction in my brain which lead me to come up with my most marvelous idea EVER.
Ladies and gentlemen, may I present to you:
THE TITTY CHAIR
As you can see, the chair is tilted forward and there are holes where the torso should be to help encourage fat cell movement to the titty area.
Here is an example of how the chair would look in use.
As you can see in the photos above, the results of my chair are astounding! Satisfaction guaranteed.
Preorders anybody?
Love,
Kim
shitlinks:[x] [x] [camville] [camwhores]
January 31, 2005 at 6:00 pm · Filed under Rigamarole
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Why do bitches walk so slow?
Picture this: You’re on your way to class, you have everything timed perfectly. It is 10:55 AM, and you have exactly 5 minutes to get to class. You are turning right on a red which will take you approximately 1 minute. Parking will take 2 minutes, and it will take less than 2 minutes to walk to class.
You reach the red light when you notice a pedestrian crossing the road. Courteously, you think “Ok, I’ll just run to class and let this person cross.”
Unknowingly, you have just released the worst nemesis to your being on time to class.
True Story:
The other day I was trying to make a right turn and 2 bitches crossing the road took so long that by the time they finished crossing the light had already turned twice and the cars on the other side of the road were turning left into the lane of which I was preparing to turn right.
Now, I didn’t need to go anywhere important, but I STILL wanted to roll the bitches over!
This gone me to thinking:
Man, bitches really walk slow!
How many times have you wanted to stab yourself in the eye if you could make it so that you wouldn’t feel like you were wasting your time because of some bitch that decides that she’s going to walk slower than the average slug?
I’ve come up with 3 instances in which this happens to me CONSTANTLY.
1. The red light
Okay, this is what I was describing earlier. WTF is up with this? Obviously there are people waiting for you… Why can’t you just hurry your ass up and cross the damn road! Sometimes I’ve seen them look at me with an EVIL look in their eyes like they KNOW that I’m going to be late. FUCK YOU BITCH! I’m in a car! Next time I’ll run your fat ass over!
2. The narrow road
Is there some unwritten rule that if there are 2 or more bitches together that they have to take up the whole fucking sidewalk/walkway/etc? What the fuck is up with that shit? There should be a law about leaving a passing lane to get around slow ass bitches! the worst is when you’re trying to go around them discreetly, and regardless of which side you walk to, they always seem to be 1 up on you and they all kind of drift to that side. FUCK YOU BITCH! I wish I had a car to run you over!
3. When you’re really really late
You know what I hate the most? When you run into someone and they decide that they want to talk to you, so they start walking with you, but they walk at half the speed in which you were already going. COME ON. Use some common courtesy! If you’re going to already hinder someone with your talking, at LEAST have the courtesy to fucking walk as fast as them.
This also goes for people when we’re in big groups, too! Like when you’re late to a movie and you’re in a big group and bitches are whining because we’re gonna be late, but they’re not walking any faster. WALK FASTER BITCH! You’re the reason we’re gonna be late!
———–
*SIGH of relief* Ok I just had to say that. But seriously, I know you probably think I’m a dick and I know that I have on occasion walked slowly, as well… BUT! Barring ridiculously short legs, and really uncomfortable shoes, or if you’re just taking a walk in the park or something, there’s no reason that you should be walking slower than an elephant with a toe problem.
Moral of today’s story:
WALK FASTER, BITCHES!
Love,
Kim
shitlinks:[x] [x] [camville] [camwhores]
January 27, 2005 at 4:14 pm · Filed under Rigamarole
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Click to go straight to most recent edits
Mad libs!
Create my day!
I woke up this morning completely ___adj___. I looked around for clothes to put on and get ready for the day. But before I changed my clothes, I decided to ____v____, because there’s nothing like something inside of you to get the day going.
I finally got to class and suffered all the way through. After all this work, I felt a little ____adj___ and decided to go get some ____n____. After ___v___-ing for so long that I could barely stand, I decided that I wanted to play with my ____n____. Four hours later, I was still playing with my ____n____, but I was all sweaty and my fingers were beginning to hurt, so I stopped.
What a great day.
//begin madlib intermission
Product of the day: USB Vibrator
Matrix USB Vibrator (Matrix USB) Presenting the computer powered Matrix Vibe. Become one with your computer as you plug and play your Matrix Vibe into your USB port with the included USB cable.
Reach orgasmic heights as your body pulsates through 10 different speeds and sensations, all at the touch of your finger. No batteries required. Feel the power.
PC and Mac compatible.
Category: Female Stimulators, Vibrators
//EDIT// Supposedly, this vibrator is able to be controlled by remote computers. Meaning if you are having cam sex or CYBER SEX with someone they can control it! So crazy, can you imagine? Zzt… Zt..zt…ZZzzZzzZt… from halfway around the world?
EDIT!
You’ve seen the USB vibrator, now due to popular demand (this goes out to you, minho), here is the USB DILDO for your sexual pleasure!
Wow. It just doesn’t stop getting better.
//END EDIT//
//end madlib intermission
My Madlib
I woke up this morning completely rested. I looked around for clothes to put on and get ready for the day. But before I changed my clothes, I decided to eat, because there’s nothing like something inside of you to get the day going.
I finally got to class and suffered all the way through. After all this work, I felt a little hungry and decided to go get some food. After eating for so long that I could barely stand, I decided that I wanted to play with my gamecube. Four hours later, I was still playing with my gamecube, but I was all sweaty and my fingers were beginning to hurt, so I stopped.
What a great day.
What did you come up with?
E-mail me or leave a comment with your madlib!
Love,
Kim
shitlinks:[x] [x] [camville] [camwhores]
January 27, 2005 at 2:07 am · Filed under Rigamarole
The Demise of the Internet
Go ahead, ask me why I mourn.
I mourn the loss of good writing to the low attention span of the masses.
I mourn the loss of individuality to names that are superceeded by “xanga” or “livejournal” and preceeded by “blogspot”.
I mourn for you, and I mourn for me, the death of intellect, replaced shadows of creativity.
I mourn the loss of good writing.
When I first started reading blogs I was amazed and impressed by the quality of a lot of the pages that I found. Pages like http://www.littleyellowdifferent.com target=”_blank”>Little, Yellow, Different, pages like http://www.girlsareweird.com target=”_blank”>Girls are weird, pages that are gone now, like Super Hyper Demon Child, Cynicworld, and so many others whose writing called to me and showed me, taught me something new every day.
So much great writing. So little time.
Seeing these encouraged me to write well. And doing so, made me realize this:
It takes only a little bit of effort to make a piece of writing enjoyable to others.
What bothers me the most isn’t the fact that there are LESS good, interesting, funny, witty bloggers on the internet these days. Because, truth be told, there are many more now that the Internet is so widespread.
What bothers me is the amount of bullshit I have to go through to find that one gem in the dirt.
There is so much bullshit that is everywhere
January 26, 2005 at 5:06 pm · Filed under Rigamarole
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Nothing to say for today except..
Appreciate life.
Love,
Kim
shitlinks:[x] [x] [camville] [camwhores]
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