Sunday January 9, 2005 at 11:06 am
mirrored from madpimp.com
Picture of the Day
I’ve been inspired by Lan to post a picture of the day.
This is why friends don’t let friends take pictures drunk. ^^
Archive for Rigamarole
Saturday January 8, 2005 at 03:54 pm
mirrored from madpimp.com
Nerds, Geeks, Bullies
This forum has a poll entitled “Are you nice to the so called geeks/nerds?”
A lot of the replies sound like the following:
QUOTE(bad_girl @ Jan 8 2005, 12:37 AM)
respect them (nerds/geeks) but dont stand up for them. becos if i do.. i’ll be the joke for the rest of the year. but everybody deserves our respect!!
The thread itself, and the incensed me to no end
This was my reply:
Shit, all these bitches in here that are in high school / middle school and all that bullshit.
I WAS that nerd. I WAS that geek that got picked on. Got teased. Got gum put in my hair. Nice to know how all you fuckers who think you’re ‘cool’ talk about the ‘nerds’ as another freakin RACE or some shit like that.
Nice to know that you don’t stand up for them when bullshit happens to them in class just because you’re afraid of being a joke.
People who don’t take action for others are just as bad as the people who are doing the fucked up things. Sometimes worse, because you know better and you’re not taking the initiative to be a better fucking person.
You know what, fuckers? That NERD probably goes home every day and thinks about killing himself/herself because they’re fucking all alone in their fucking misery.
IM OUT BIATCH!
Now that I’m a little calmer…
I feel like I can really get down to the point and rant to this in a more rational manner.
This thread really pissed me off for the following reasons:
It talks about ‘NERDS/GEEKS’ as an label
I didn’t like the way that they used ‘nerds’ as something that encompasses a group of people though they don’t point out exactly what ‘nerds’ means. ‘Nerd’ can be construed in many different ways to many different people.. The way this post/poll makes it sound is that a ‘nerd’ is an entity similar to race — a group that these ‘geeks/nerds’ are a part of regardless of whether they want to or not.
I wonder how they would react if I made a post “Are you nice to the so called ‘white people’?”
It doesn’t make it any better that everyone [except a select few] continue on talking about ‘geeks/nerds’ in the same manner.
It didn’t have a choice for ‘I am a nerd’
So apparently, geeks/nerds are not allowed to vote? I see, only the ‘cool’ people are allowed to post in this thread.
It showed me a side of human nature that I haven’t seen since I left middle school
aka my own experiences with bullies
I think the thing that bothered me the most about this post was that it took me right back to middle school. To my busstop in John D Morgan Park.
Every morning in 8th grade, the bus would come and pick us up and take us to the temporary school we had been ported to because of our own school’s rennovations. Every morning I woke up, walked 2 blocks, over an overpass, turned right and walked another half block to the busstop.
Every morning I arrived, looked for my friend Cheyanne, and tried to start talking to her as soon as I could.
Every morning I feared the arrival of two people. I still remember their names like it was yesterday, even though I haven’t seen them in close to ten years. George A**. Damien G********.
George was also in 8th grade. He was a stocky/buff bodytype guy who wore baggy jeans and plaid button down shirts. He had slicked back hair, and a head similar to the shape of Homer Simpson. He was one of the ‘cool people’ of 8th grade.
Every morning George would poke fun at me, push me, and say things to me until I cried [or at least he tried to]. I know this sounds like the type of things that happens when a boy likes a girl, but trust me, this was just pure maliciousness. Every morning I would stand there and not reply to anything, tears heating up the back of my eyes, my jaw clenched, wanting to say something, ANYTHING. It was never of my nature to have quick and witty comebacks. Especially when I am incapacitated by anger, embarassment, and negative feelings.
The other person, Damien, was even worse. He was a scrawny, tiny little 5th grader who probably got picked on by everybody in his class. He had glasses at least half an inch thick and three inches in diameter. Probably seeing how I just took the abuse from George, Damien took it on himself to fuck with me as much as he could. I was pushed around, had gum put in my hair, and cussed at by this kid.
I never did anything. Already depressed and having thoughts of suicide every night, trying to deal with my parents getting divorced, getting over bronchitis, feeling like an outcast, and being made a prisoner in my own home, I couldn’t bring up the strength or courage to retaliate back.
So, by the time we were on the bus and almost to school, I was either crying or on the verge of tears.
In the end, I have to say, I probably didn’t get picked on every day like I remember… The scars are deep, though, and I remember my feelings so poignantly that just telling it here makes me want to cry.
So, if you’re reading this, and you are George A** or Damien G********, I have one thing to say to you:
FUCK YOU, BITCHES!
Friday January 7, 2005 at 09:59 am
mirrored from madpimp.com
The (currently) 12 different types of poo.
So, those of you that know me, you know that I don’t shit very much. Though lately my bowel movements have been fairly regular (once every 2-3 days, and sometimes even daily), in the past it was not uncommon for me to go for a week or even two at a time without taking a shit. Every time I need to take a shit, I announce it – and my roommate says “See you later!”
The funny thing is, the home I grew up in was built in the 1940’s or 1950’s, so the plumbing is pretty old. When I used to live at home, every time I took a shit [almost without fail, not including diarrhea] the toilet would get clogged up. I know. The only way I was ever able to avoid this is if I cut the giant log in half with my sphincter and flushed about 4 or 5 times per pooing session.
For this reason (the clogging), the fact that it doesn’t happen often, and simply because I am fascinated by bodily functions, I have become a great connoisseur of the different types of poo. Some of these types can occur at the same time in the same shitting session. The numbers don’t really mean anything except for use as reference.
Kim’s 12* Different Types of Poo
*note this will probably be ammended to include more later as I think of them.
Type 1: Your Average Joe Poo
This is your average run of the mill poo. It comes out, not too thick, not thin, normal colored and only messy enough for you to know that it’s poo. Even Goldilocks couldn’t complain about this shit. Really.
Type 2: The Bleeder
When you see red streaks on your toilet paper as you’re wiping.
Type 3: The Bleeder 2
This is the one that really makes your anus bleed. Not just the little red streaks on your toilet paper while you’re wiping, but the straight up “fuck, I just ripped myself another asshole”. You will know the bleeder when you feel it, and if you look in the toilet bowl, you can see streaks and swirls of red mixing in with the yellow water.
Type 4: The Smoothie
This is the one that’s not quite diarrhea, but as close as you can get without calling it a diarrhea. When Type 4 hits the bowl, it does not stay in a log shape, instead it tends to form into a little pile at the bottom of the bowl. If you’re shitting enough, this is one of the poos that will stick up out of the water.
Type 5: The Frozen Yogurt
This is related to Type 1: Your Average Joe Poo, but it’s just really really long. So long that it curls up on itself and looks like, what else? Frozen yogurt.
Type 6: The Kielbasa
Often, this time happens in conjunction with Type 3: The Bleeder or Type 4: The Bleeder 2. Similar to Type 5: The Frozen Yogurt, this is the type that is too thick to curl into a tight pile, but is still extra long. This kind tends to curl around the side of the toilet bowl, giving it the look similar to a polish sausage. However, it does not have to, because sometimes shit doesn’t go smooth like that. The only requirement for the kielbasa is that the shit has to be 1.75 inches in diameter or bigger.
Type 7: The Mr. Clean
This is the one that is the trickiest. It occurs randomly with different types of poo. It is very rare, but on the occasion that it does happen it freaks me out. This is the poo where once you’re done, you go to wipe and nothing comes off on the toilet paper. When you’re like, WTF mate? Where did the shit streaks go? You then usually proceed to wipe 5 or more times unsuccessfully, wasting most of your toilet paper.
Type 8: The A-Bomb Explosion
The A-Bomb explosion also goes by the name of “Diarrhea”. A lot of times, Type 4: The Smoothie or Type 9: The “Am I peeing out of my ass?” will follow this shit. This is the one that usually hurts the most and the longest before and after the dropping. I have broken a sweat more than once with this type of poo.
Type 9: The “Am I peeing out of my ass?”
This, along with Type 8, are probably the messiest of the different types of shit. This is the one where it feels like water is just pouring out of your ass. No matter how hard you dab your asshole, you’re scared that liquid is gonna leak out.
Type 10: The Cork
This tends to cause the Bleeders as well, and is followed by “Am I peeing out of my ass?” and The Smoothie. This is when you have a really hard piece of shit at the beginning of your poo, and once that is released, a slew of liquid is released.
Type 11: The Rabbit Poo
This is the one that comes out in little pellets. This one for me seems to occur a lot with Type 10: The Cork. (Generally the cork itself is a rabbit poo that causes a Type 4: Bleeder 2).
Type 12: The Streaker
This is the opposite of Type 7: The Mr. Clean – This is the one where no matter how much you wipe it never seems to go away. Every single wipe yields another brown streak. And you keep wiping…and wiping… and wiping. Until a little bit of Type 3: The Bleeder occurs.
———–
Ammendments
Type 13: The Corn Poo (thanks, Brett)
Not limited to just corn, just any poo in which food still looks the same coming out as it did coming in.
Type 14: The Flaming Hot Cheeto
This is like, the worst shit ever. Especially when worked in combination with A-Bomb explosion. This is the shit that burns your ass and makes it almost numb with the stinging painful sensation. If you really ate flaming hot cheetos, the color of this poo is red.
Type 15: The Albino Poo (thanks, Larry)
Larry says once his poo was white and he didn’t know why. I’m opening this type too all the times your poo is a weird color and you don’t know why.
Links of Note:
For images of poo, go to RateMyPoo.com
Thanks for Commenting:
Steve, DC, RaSenGan, Lan, Eric, , Sid, John, Angela, Brett, Darrell, Ivy, Long, Larry, Diana, Pink_hilights, MyLynn, JOy, Allen, Jerome, Vinh, LumpiaBlog, Diana, bettertomorrow, xhopefully5x, Phil, and Linda.
Friday January 7, 2005 at 09:06 am
mirrored from madpimp.com
The (currently) 12 different types of poo.
So, those of you that know me, you know that I don’t shit very much. Though lately my bowel movements have been fairly regular (once every 2-3 days, and sometimes even daily), in the past it was not uncommon for me to go for a week or even two at a time without taking a shit. Every time I need to take a shit, I announce it – and my roommate says “See you later!”
The funny thing is, the home I grew up in was built in the 1940’s or 1950’s, so the plumbing is pretty old. When I used to live at home, every time I took a shit [almost without fail, not including diarrhea] the toilet would get clogged up. I know. The only way I was ever able to avoid this is if I cut the giant log in half with my sphincter and flushed about 4 or 5 times per pooing session.
For this reason (the clogging), the fact that it doesn’t happen often, and simply because I am fascinated by bodily functions, I have become a great connoisseur of the different types of poo. Some of these types can occur at the same time in the same shitting session. The numbers don’t really mean anything except for use as reference.
Kim’s 12* Different Types of Poo
*note this will probably be ammended to include more later as I think of them.
Type 1: Your Average Joe Poo
This is your average run of the mill poo. It comes out, not too thick, not thin, normal colored and only messy enough for you to know that it’s poo. Even Goldilocks couldn’t complain about this shit. Really.
Type 2: The Bleeder
When you see red streaks on your toilet paper as you’re wiping.
Type 3: The Bleeder 2
This is the one that really makes your anus bleed. Not just the little red streaks on your toilet paper while you’re wiping, but the straight up “fuck, I just ripped myself another asshole”. You will know the bleeder when you feel it, and if you look in the toilet bowl, you can see streaks and swirls of red mixing in with the yellow water.
Type 4: The Smoothie
This is the one that’s not quite diarrhea, but as close as you can get without calling it a diarrhea. When Type 4 hits the bowl, it does not stay in a log shape, instead it tends to form into a little pile at the bottom of the bowl. If you’re shitting enough, this is one of the poos that will stick up out of the water.
Type 5: The Frozen Yogurt
This is related to Type 1: Your Average Joe Poo, but it’s just really really long. So long that it curls up on itself and looks like, what else? Frozen yogurt.
Type 6: The Kielbasa
Often, this time happens in conjunction with Type 3: The Bleeder or Type 4: The Bleeder 2. Similar to Type 5: The Frozen Yogurt, this is the type that is too thick to curl into a tight pile, but is still extra long. This kind tends to curl around the side of the toilet bowl, giving it the look similar to a polish sausage. However, it does not have to, because sometimes shit doesn’t go smooth like that. The only requirement for the kielbasa is that the shit has to be 1.75 inches in diameter or bigger.
Type 7: The Mr. Clean
This is the one that is the trickiest. It occurs randomly with different types of poo. It is very rare, but on the occasion that it does happen it freaks me out. This is the poo where once you’re done, you go to wipe and nothing comes off on the toilet paper. When you’re like, WTF mate? Where did the shit streaks go? You then usually proceed to wipe 5 or more times unsuccessfully, wasting most of your toilet paper.
Type 8: The A-Bomb Explosion
The A-Bomb explosion also goes by the name of “Diarrhea”. A lot of times, Type 4: The Smoothie or Type 9: The “Am I peeing out of my ass?” will follow this shit. This is the one that usually hurts the most and the longest before and after the dropping. I have broken a sweat more than once with this type of poo.
Type 9: The “Am I peeing out of my ass?”
This, along with Type 8, are probably the messiest of the different types of shit. This is the one where it feels like water is just pouring out of your ass. No matter how hard you dab your asshole, you’re scared that liquid is gonna leak out.
Type 10: The Cork
This tends to cause the Bleeders as well, and is followed by “Am I peeing out of my ass?” and The Smoothie. This is when you have a really hard piece of shit at the beginning of your poo, and once that is released, a slew of liquid is released.
Type 11: The Rabbit Poo
This is the one that comes out in little pellets. This one for me seems to occur a lot with Type 10: The Cork. (Generally the cork itself is a rabbit poo that causes a Type 4: Bleeder 2).
Type 12: The Streaker
This is the opposite of Type 7: The Mr. Clean – This is the one where no matter how much you wipe it never seems to go away. Every single wipe yields another brown streak. And you keep wiping…and wiping… and wiping. Until a little bit of Type 3: The Bleeder occurs.
———–
Ammendments
Type 13: The Corn Poo (thanks, Brett)
Not limited to just corn, just any poo in which food still looks the same coming out as it did coming in.
Type 14: The Flaming Hot Cheeto
This is like, the worst shit ever. Especially when worked in combination with A-Bomb explosion. This is the shit that burns your ass and makes it almost numb with the stinging painful sensation. If you really ate flaming hot cheetos, the color of this poo is red.
Type 15: The Albino Poo (thanks, Larry)
Larry says once his poo was white and he didn’t know why. I’m opening this type too all the times your poo is a weird color and you don’t know why.
Thanks for Commenting:
Steve, DC, RaSenGan, Lan, Eric, , Sid, John, Angela, Brett, Darrell, Ivy, Long, Larry, Diana, Pink_hilights, MyLynn, JOy, Allen, Jerome, Vinh, LumpiaBlog, Diana, bettertomorrow, xhopefully5x, Phil, and Linda.
Friday January 7, 2005 at 09:05 am
mirrored from madpimp.com
The (currently) 12 different types of poo.
So, those of you that know me, you know that I don’t shit very much. Though lately my bowel movements have been fairly regular (once every 2-3 days, and sometimes even daily), in the past it was not uncommon for me to go for a week or even two at a time without taking a shit. Every time I need to take a shit, I announce it – and my roommate says “See you later!”
The funny thing is, the home I grew up in was built in the 1940’s or 1950’s, so the plumbing is pretty old. When I used to live at home, every time I took a shit [almost without fail, not including diarrhea] the toilet would get clogged up. I know. The only way I was ever able to avoid this is if I cut the giant log in half with my sphincter and flushed about 4 or 5 times per pooing session.
For this reason (the clogging), the fact that it doesn’t happen often, and simply because I am fascinated by bodily functions, I have become a great connoisseur of the different types of poo. Some of these types can occur at the same time in the same shitting session. The numbers don’t really mean anything except for use as reference.
Kim’s 12* Different Types of Poo
*note this will probably be ammended to include more later as I think of them.
Type 1: Your Average Joe Poo
This is your average run of the mill poo. It comes out, not too thick, not thin, normal colored and only messy enough for you to know that it’s poo. Even Goldilocks couldn’t complain about this shit. Really.
Type 2: The Bleeder
When you see red streaks on your toilet paper as you’re wiping.
Type 3: The Bleeder 2
This is the one that really makes your anus bleed. Not just the little red streaks on your toilet paper while you’re wiping, but the straight up “fuck, I just ripped myself another asshole”. You will know the bleeder when you feel it, and if you look in the toilet bowl, you can see streaks and swirls of red mixing in with the yellow water.
Type 4: The Smoothie
This is the one that’s not quite diarrhea, but as close as you can get without calling it a diarrhea. When Type 4 hits the bowl, it does not stay in a log shape, instead it tends to form into a little pile at the bottom of the bowl. If you’re shitting enough, this is one of the poos that will stick up out of the water.
Type 5: The Frozen Yogurt
This is related to Type 1: Your Average Joe Poo, but it’s just really really long. So long that it curls up on itself and looks like, what else? Frozen yogurt.
Type 6: The Kielbasa
Often, this time happens in conjunction with Type 3: The Bleeder or Type 4: The Bleeder 2. Similar to Type 5: The Frozen Yogurt, this is the type that is too thick to curl into a tight pile, but is still extra long. This kind tends to curl around the side of the toilet bowl, giving it the look similar to a polish sausage. However, it does not have to, because sometimes shit doesn’t go smooth like that. The only requirement for the kielbasa is that the shit has to be 1.75 inches in diameter or bigger.
Type 7: The Mr. Clean
This is the one that is the trickiest. It occurs randomly with different types of poo. It is very rare, but on the occasion that it does happen it freaks me out. This is the poo where once you’re done, you go to wipe and nothing comes off on the toilet paper. When you’re like, WTF mate? Where did the shit streaks go? You then usually proceed to wipe 5 or more times unsuccessfully, wasting most of your toilet paper.
Type 8: The A-Bomb Explosion
The A-Bomb explosion also goes by the name of “Diarrhea”. A lot of times, Type 4: The Smoothie or Type 9: The “Am I peeing out of my ass?” will follow this shit. This is the one that usually hurts the most and the longest before and after the dropping. I have broken a sweat more than once with this type of poo.
Type 9: The “Am I peeing out of my ass?”
This, along with Type 8, are probably the messiest of the different types of shit. This is the one where it feels like water is just pouring out of your ass. No matter how hard you dab your asshole, you’re scared that liquid is gonna leak out.
Type 10: The Cork
This tends to cause the Bleeders as well, and is followed by “Am I peeing out of my ass?” and The Smoothie. This is when you have a really hard piece of shit at the beginning of your poo, and once that is released, a slew of liquid is released.
Type 11: The Rabbit Poo
This is the one that comes out in little pellets. This one for me seems to occur a lot with Type 10: The Cork. (Generally the cork itself is a rabbit poo that causes a Type 4: Bleeder 2).
Type 12: The Streaker
This is the opposite of Type 7: The Mr. Clean – This is the one where no matter how much you wipe it never seems to go away. Every single wipe yields another brown streak. And you keep wiping…and wiping… and wiping. Until a little bit of Type 3: The Bleeder occurs.
———–
Ammendments
Type 13: The Corn Poo (thanks, Brett)
Not limited to just corn, just any poo in which food still looks the same coming out as it did coming in.
Type 14: The Flaming Hot Cheeto
This is like, the worst shit ever. Especially when worked in combination with A-Bomb explosion. This is the shit that burns your ass and makes it almost numb with the stinging painful sensation. If you really ate flaming hot cheetos, the color of this poo is red.
Type 15: The Albino Poo (thanks, Larry)
Larry says once his poo was white and he didn’t know why. I’m opening this type too all the times your poo is a weird color and you don’t know why.
Thanks for Commenting:
Steve, DC, RaSenGan, Lan, Eric, , Sid, John, Angela, Brett, Darrell, Ivy, Long, Larry, Diana, Pink_hilights, MyLynn, JOy, Allen, Jerome, Vinh, LumpiaBlog, Diana, bettertomorrow, xhopefully5x, Phil, and Linda.
Friday January 7, 2005 at 11:56 pm
This is a poem I wrote recently. This post is protected and not mirrored from any site. If you can see this then that means I respect your opinion… I’m a little shy about this. This is the first time I’ve written a poem like this.
Failure
I’ve had many failed relationships in the past,
All have crumbled, they never seem to last.
I dated ice cream for a while,
He was sweet at first, but that got old –
underneath that smooth veneer, he was totally cold.
After a time, he made me feel fat –
I couldn’t live with that.
I’ve had many failed relationships in the past,
I’m devastated, they never seem to last.
I had a fling with chocolate,
Not as cool as ol’ ice cream, but much richer.
When he touched my lips, he tasted like liquor.
After a while, I realized he was nutty,
so I left him and found another love buddy.
I’ve had many relationships in the past,
Is it me? They never seem to last.
I had a long distance relationship with a porn site.
When he went down, it was never good,
So I took to visiting other boys in his neighborhood.
A lot of his friends liked to fuck like bunnies,
And unlike him, they never stole my money.
I’ve had many relationships in the past,
What should I do? They never seem to last.
I messed around with my left hand,
But to my right hand, my left ratted me out,
To right I said, “Listen baby, don’t pout,
I’ll have a party where we all can come,
‘cuz if we work together, we can have a threesome!â€
I’ve had many relationships in the past,
Fuck that shit. They never seem to last.
Thursday January 6, 2005 at 11:43 pm
mirrored from madpimp.com
My personal’s ad: SAF [single asian female], 21yrs, 5′, medium build, small breasts, geeky, vulgar, fun, crazy, introspective and brilliant. Seeking SM to have stimulating conversations, try new things, and have fun with. Must be nerdy.
What defines me?
Regardless of what you see in the webcam [since admittedly I can look pretty hot there ..the pictures come out way better than I actually look in real life. It’s more of a gimmick to make people come to my site than anything], I consider myself to be a girl of average to slightly below average looks. When not domineering the internet realm, I have fairly low self esteem.
Of late, I’ve been going out more than I have in the past, in the process exposing myself to the public. As a result of this I have been learning how to mingle with people who in high school who I would probably been hesitant to talk to or would have ignored me.
In these situations in the past, clubs, bars, parties, I’ve contented myself with becoming so incredibly fucked up on drugs that I don’t care about my insecurities anymore. However, since the decline of my alcohol tolerance due to several bouts of overdrinking, and my recent lack of drug use, I have come to drink much less in these group socials which results in great discomfort and feelings of insecurity and embarassment on my part.
I have to ask myself why?
Why do I feel like the nerd that sneaks into the party?
Here are the reasons that I have come to grips with:
1. I feel as if all the people [girls, boys] dressed all nice are part of the “beautiful people” crowd… a crowd to which I do not belong.
2. Everyone seems like they know why they’re where they are. They are standing with purpose. They are sitting in the chair with purpose. I have no purpose.
3. It seems as if most people have mastered the art of smalltalk and/or dancing, smalltalk something which has never been appealing to me and dancing which has never come to me naturally.
How did these insecurities come about? What defines me?
For this and as an ode to the new year, I would like to take a photo-enhanced trip down memory lane.
 |
9 years ago I… Had really big glasses. Got bullied in school. Got gum put in my hair on the bus. Ran away from home. Cried myself to sleep every night. Hadn’t seen my dad in more than a year. |
 |
5 years ago I… Had smaller, but still big glasses. Was in love with a boy named Nick. Was still called a nerd. Was coming to grips that I would never be ‘cool. Was making a lot of money through the ‘internet’ |
 |
4 years ago I… Started college. Information and Computer Science major. Met people who were bad influences. Learned that I could get away from life by doing drugs. |
 |
2 years ago I… Was in love. Had been diagnosed with bi-polar disorder. Finally stopped punishing myself with sharp objects. Stopped blogging. Was still a nerd. |
 |
Last year I… Broke up with my boyfriend of 2.5 years. Drank so much I threw up for 24 hours straight. Went to more parties than ever once I turned 21 in March. Got fucked up every time. Never got over my insecurities. Grew out my hair. |
 |
This year I… Am still a nerd. Still trying to get over it. Want to be a ‘cool people’ Will stop fucking around. |
I guess I drifted away from the topic a little bit there. But anyhow… The moral of the story is that I started out a nerd and a geek as a child and that nerdy geeky person will always be me. That is why no matter how I try to shake the image and the feeling, I will always feel like the girl in the first picture 9 years ago.
—————
Links of note: sooji for linking me as inspiration. The following people commented: Stile of stileproject and camwhores (you’ve always been my blog-idol…seriously.), RaSenGan (even though you think i’m dirty.. haha), Michael, Sidric, bob aka merry (?), Lan[crazy amounts of inspiration], property_of_nick, better tomorrow, Eric, John, Clint, Allen {PIMP},, vinh, Josh, minh, Liss [HOT chick], Brett, irene, tim, dA_rEaL_MexApInO, click_here_for_pics, , Wilson, and Megan. Thanks for commenting. StillADick for subscribing to me because I think his writing style is fucking amazing and I hope he gets 1/10th enjoyment being subscribed to me as I’ve had reading his site.
Tuesday January 4, 2005 at 03:54 pm
mirrored from madpimp.com
So I’m going to be a hypocrite
I’m going to be a hypocrite and be one of those people that I find boring. I’m going to tell you what I did yesterday.
Yesterday I changed my sheets and the duvet covers on my bed. I also cleaned the carpet.
It’s hard for me to explain the events that occured which promted this strange behavior… So instead, I created a photo reinactment of what happened.
I was really hungry, so I decided to check out what was in the fridge.
I proceeded to choose a yummy looking 1 dollar banquet salisbury steak TV dinner.
I eventually put it in the microwave, after deciphering the words on the back. I was extremely excited to eat it because I was hungry. This was to be my first meal of the day.
I brought the cooked dinner back to my bed in order to eat it. My roommate was at my computer desk so I decided to eat whilst browsing the internet on my laptop. All of a sudden..
The food decided to jump out of my hands! It then proceeded to flip to the floor.
The following are real pictures of the events described earlier.
Yesterday was a sad day indeed. I was hungry, and my food escaped me. I didn’t even get to eat one bite of that dinner. The saddest part was that there was hair in the mashed potatoes.
On a brighter note, I now know what it feels like to hold a piece of warm meat in a towel.
Monday January 3, 2005 at 01:06 pm
mirrored from madpimp.com
Thank you’s
Incidentally, thank you to Lan, Eric, Wilson, TurkShady, Brett, JR, DC, RaSenGan, and John for your comments. 
They were greatly appreciated.
Monday January 3, 2005 at 12:57 pm
mirrored from madpimp.com
On a more somber note.
Caution, LONG entry ahead.
Those of you close to me know that recently one of my best friends, someone I’ve known since middle school, came out of the closet recently. Initially, he came out only to his friends — however, due to a certain turn of events, he ended up coming out to his parents this New Year’s Eve.
The details of these events are outlined in the letter that he sent to all of us following this post.
Before going into the post, though, I’d like to say a little something to the first generation Asian society. You know who I’m talking about, Asian parents who came to (not born in) America in the age range of 45-70 with children in the age ranges of 15-40. Yes. I know you’re not listening, and I know that you probably don’t use the Internet… But goddamnit, I need to say this.
I don’t want to sound ungrateful. I know you reared us and took care of us and went through many toils in order to get where you are today. I know you worked hard to become successful and worked damn hard to keep the same family values instilled in us that were pounded into you by your parents, your society.
I know that by the time you were my age you had seen much more pain, anguish and suffering than I am likely to ever see, living in the heart and the height of a florishing, rich society.
Still, I have to say this.
Fuck you, ASIAN PARENTS
(Immediately I feel guilt. I’ve deleted that last line 5 times. and still I have to say it.) I really mean it, though, and I’ve always wanted to say it.
I know you always intended the best, and that your days were days of ideals, and that you came to America for the American dream. But goddamnit, though your children have grown up and assimilated to the American society, inside the home you still haven’t let go.
I realize that you are afraid if you let it go too much that your culture will be lost — but there are some things I will never understand.
Why, why do you force your children to conform to the image that your culture’s society idealizes? We do not all want to be doctors, dentists, engineers… Why is it then that we are so forced to play your games of power and pride, for what? so that we toil in fields that we hate in order for you to gain reputation in your clique of friends that you have raised children who will make a lot of cash?
Why, why do you force your children to conform to the image that your culture’s society thinks is correct? So what if I’m gay? Why does that matter to you? Why does it shame you so much that I like others of the same sex? I have accepted it. Why can’t you? You say it affects you, but how does it affect you as much as it affects me? Why are you so insistant that we conform to your image?
Why, why do you force your children to conform to the image that your culture’s society developed? Why can’t I marry someone who is from a poor family, why can’t I marry someone whose family used to be low class in your country, why can’t I marry someone who is not of our race, why can’t I marry someone who matches your image of beauty, why can’t I fall in love with who I want if they’re not your image of what is right for me without falling out of your grace.
Wasn’t your dream one of freedom? Then why are your children not free? Why are we still bound mentally by your words, your actions, with shackles from a society that we are not even considered to be a part of?
CLICK THE LINK BELOW TO READ MY FRIEND’S EXPERIENCE
| Dear Friends,
Some of you know me as Hyung. Some of you know me as Steve. I am writingto you now to inform you of my current situation at home. As most of you know, I’ve recently came out as bisexual. To be quitefrank, I’m into the whole “sexuality is fluidâ€Â; that my preference isn’t set. Those close to me know that I swore that I’d never come out to myparents. Unfortunately, on New Year’s Eve, I did. Throughout the winter break, my mother and I argued on many occasions.During a car ride with her, she demanded to know what was the source ofthe animosity. She asked me if I had secrets from her. She took my silence as an affirmation, and before you know it, I came out of the closet. So went back home, my mom sobbing as we drove home from church. She told me I was going to get AIDS and die. She didn’t believe me when I told her I’ve never experimented with drugs. She said she felt sorry for my father, and feared for his mental health. She suspected that he would kill himself when he learned of it. Panicked, I told her I’d change if she kept it a secret. She simply told me that I had ruined all of our lives, and that I was as good as dead. At home, my mother fluctuated between pity, sympathy, and disgust. She said she still loved me. Afterwards, she told me I was a dog and a monster. Most of the time she was incoherently praying. We both cried, we hugged, we sat apart. My dad, who was at church, called to inquire about our absence. My mother lied and said she sprang her ankle. After their conversation ended, my mom told me that once my father got home, she’d inform him, that she couldn’t handle this alone. Throughout the night, I would apologize My dad came home. I was asked to leave the room as my mother and he spoke. About forty-minutes later, I was asked back into the room. The first thing my dad asked was if I could quit it. I said that I didn’t think I could. Initially, I suspected a theological argument, so I let him know that I no longer considered myself Christian. However, he chose to argue about society. At first, he told me that I wasn’t normal. My parents both firmly believe that because I don’t meet social standards, I should change. I disagreed; if I’m not harming anyone, I’m not obliged to change. I was breaking no law, hurting no other. Then they explained that I was hurting them; news of my ‘sexual deviance’ would ostracize them from the Korean-American community. That I could not argue. They asked me if I could change. I choice to answer vaguely, stating that from what I’ve read, most men attempting to convert committed suicide, or led lives filled with depression. My parents said that I had to change, that it is the only right choice. I told them that I would try to abstain from sexual relationship with men and pay more attention to women while in Davis. I lied; I just wanted to appease them and flee to Davis. I told them I’d leave for Davis the day after. So we went to sleep. That next morning, January 1st, they informed me that I had to withdraw from school. They were convinced that it was my surroundings that lead me astray. I told them I had to return, and that stripping me of freedom wouldn’t change me. I told them I had no desire to change, that I didn’t think I was wrong, and that the only thing I regretted was hurting my parents. They seemed dumbfounded that I didn’t find non-heterosexuality to be immoral. My dad suggested I take a vacation in Korea. Of course, I went hysterical. I yelled. They cried. They told me they loved me and that they didn’t want to imprison me, merely heal me. I don’t doubt their sincerity, only their sanity. They told me that I could spend time working out, going to a junior college, or go abroad. But they insisted that I stay in Davis. They went about their business for the rest of the day, letting me know that they weren’t sure what to do with me yet. They thought it best if I spend some time outside, alone, and blow off some steam. So I went out, and called numerous friends for support. Thank you all for listening. That evening, I returned home. At that point, nothing had changed. The situation was exacerbated by our language barrier. I can speak and comprehend Korean fairly well, and they… speak enough English to get by. They called my Aunt Angel to mediate, to translate. She came. While she did clarify both of our points, I was a bit annoyed by the fact that she was also completely against my sexuality. The details aren’t important. Ultimately it comes down to this; if I choose to live my life the way I see it, I will rip our family apart. The alternative is to change (to go hetero) if that’s possible, and maintain family unity – in the process, I would lose my identity, which sucks ass. Really gross ass. The one with dingleberries in it. Ew. They said they were going to go pray at church. I chose to remain at home. I spoke with some friends, got a hold of some numbers. Thanks to everyone who called and cared, you know who you are. At that point, my parents returned. We had a rather warm talk about despite our differences, we loved each other. I told my parents if family unity meant my disownment, that I was strong enough to manage on my own. My parents said that they would never ‘throw me away’ (heartening, but vague), and that they would never stop trying to help (vague, not at all Today is January 2nd. As I finish this letter, its just 9 pm. My parents have spent almost all day at church, so have spent little time talking. They still believe that what I’m doing is morally wrong, but they are trying to understand how I think. They are also re-considering my school situation, but are waiting for an answer from God. I think the big guy needs to hurry up; school starts soon. If I am not allowed to attend school this quarter, I will use the time to collect funds so I can pay my own way through college. I am not ready to flee just yet – I want to salvage whatever family love I can from this. But I will return; hopefully by the 5th. If not, I will see you all in Spring quarter. For all those who have supported me, thank you. I wouldn’t be as super-de- duper cool as I am today if it weren’t for all of you (although some of you would argue against the statement. Well, at least the cool part). For all those who sympathize with my situation, you can help out my spreading the word. I want people to hear about my situation. Although I’d prefer that you kept it out the Christian-Korean-American community in the Bay Area because that would make life really tough for my parents (they aren’t bad people!). Do your part and spread tolerance and love. Feel free to use any part of this letter, except for my phone number and address. Those of you who receive the initial copy of the letter (you can tell because it’ll have the phone number and address on it), please send gifts, letters, baked goods, and strippers to the address shown. But no riots / protests (just yet). I’m 5’8.5, average-build, cute, good with kids, etc. I am emotionally drained, but I am strong. I will see this through. And I will win. Hyung |
