Tuesday January 9, 2007 at 05:56 pm

January 10, 2007 at 1:56 am · Filed under Rigamarole

vegas =

great friends
good times
+40 in gambling
le reve @ the wynn
the star trek experience @ the hilton
the buffet @ paris
rum jungle @ the mandalay bay
shopping @ aladdin
CES @ venetian & convention center

CES =

lots of free stuff!
i won a webcam, wooot!

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Protected: Vegas happenings

January 9, 2007 at 1:11 pm · Filed under Rigamarole

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It’s a good life…

January 9, 2007 at 10:44 am · Filed under Rigamarole

It’s been a very long time since i’ve felt even somewhat satisfied with my life. I’m hoping this complacency doesn’t have an adverse affect, but I’m enjoying it while it lasts.

I’ve come to realize that I have some really great and supportive friends… and an even more amazing boyfriend.

Things are finally falling into place for the time being, and I really like it.

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Pains in my chest

December 29, 2006 at 1:27 pm · Filed under Rigamarole

So… for about an hour now I’ve had some sharp pains in my chest whenever I breathe deeply. Breathing shallowly is fine. Although, the shallow breathing is causing me to get a bit dizzy. Yay! Free high.

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Sunday December 24, 2006 at 06:38 am

December 24, 2006 at 2:38 pm · Filed under Rigamarole

Merry Christmas.

I hope your heart is as full as mine this holiday season.

It’s been a long time since I’ve posted anything substantial… A lot of it has to do with the fact that my life’s been so full of goodness that I completely forget to write anything here.

Anyhow, before I start. I like to announce my 6th place victory in the Guild Wars Wintersday Art Contest.

I really am awesome beyond all others.

Another part my lack of blogging is that I tend to link writing really long and thoughtful blog entries during times of melancholy and grief. So I guess, no news can be good news on this end. =]

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Reflections
Warning, somewhat sobering stuff ahead

A lot of you already know that I’ve been struggling with bi-polar disorder for a few years now. Luckily for me, I have doctors that don’t give up on me, and friends that are supportive about my life choices. I’ve been on the same medication for about five months now, and I’m beginning to realize things didn’t have to be the way they were for so long.—

There are a lot of people who think that medication is a bad alternative and look down on it because it alters the mind. I used to feel that way a lot of times too during the last few years when we tried the slew of different drugs that didn’t work on me.

However, now that I’ve found something that works, I realize this: If you find the right medicine for you, you really can come the real you without all the frustration and drama and sleepless nights and tears that come with it.

It’s not as if I don’t feel sad or upset whenever upsetting things happen. It’s not like I feel a false sense of security [which did happen on some medications, I won’t lie]. It’s not like I’m a zombie all the time, or I’ve lost my sense of creativity…

I’ve become just me. The person I am and the person I always knew I was deep down somewhere.

Some people might not even notice a change in me… But I do, and I guess that makes all the difference.

—

A few of you have written to me about your struggles with depression and other related things. I know that it was probably really hard to reach out, and I’m glad you did and I hope that reading about my struggles and my trials and then ultimately my success has helped you with your own situation. I hope you’ve taken my advice on the therapy and hope that you’ve started on your way to recovery.

—

For those of you who are reading this, if you are ever feeling at the bottom of the barrel, I’m always here to listen. Sometimes it’s just easier to talk to a stranger who’s been there.

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Last of all…I’d like to say that I’m extremely happy this year about my place in life, my friends, and my surroundings.

Merry Christmas,

bitches!

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Tuesday December 12, 2006 at 08:16 pm

December 12, 2006 at 4:16 am · Filed under Rigamarole

It’s an uncanny feeling, when you arrive at your destination and you have no memory of the drive home.

Auto-pilot is scary.

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Saturday December 9, 2006 at 08:37 am

December 9, 2006 at 4:37 pm · Filed under Rigamarole

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Monday December 4, 2006 at 05:46 pm

December 5, 2006 at 1:46 am · Filed under Rigamarole

Love is a funny thing. Just when you think your heart is full and you can’t possibly love any more than you do, you find that you can, and you do.

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Monday November 27, 2006 at 02:30 pm

November 27, 2006 at 10:30 pm · Filed under Rigamarole

I got the job I got the job!

I start next monday

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Monday November 27, 2006 at 11:01 am

November 27, 2006 at 7:01 pm · Filed under Rigamarole

First day of unemployment

For the first time in at least 5 years I’m unemployed. I don’t think I like this feeling of uncertainty very much.

———–

For those of you wondering why I’m in this situation:

I was neither laid off or fired, my current contract simply ended before I found a new job.

I actually am already waiting on a reply from a company, I’ll know within the next couple days… so this might actually be the only day I’m unemployed.

My current pay requirements and job requirements are a lot more specific than they used to be, now that I know more where I want to go with my career.

————

I really hate the feeling of being unemployed, though.

I don’t like not having a choice.

Maybe I should go work at barnes & nobles or something instead of continuing in technology.
It might be fun to be around books all day.

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