Archive for Rigamarole
November 24, 2006 at 10:15 pm · Filed under Rigamarole
You don’t realize what’s dysfunctional,
until you experience what isn’t.
Let me start this out with this: for most of my life I’ve had a strong aversion to organized religion. My mother is a devout buddhist, my brother is an Episcoplian priest. Needless to say, this caused some rifts in my family. Throughout my childhood, there were several instances where religion was a definite stresser.
It wasn’t until this year in getting acquainted with my boyfriend’s family that I’ve realized that it’s really not the religion that causes strife, but the people themselves.
I’ve had two serious relationships prior to this one, neither of them in families that are very religious. While their families were very good to me, I have to admit that I never really felt like I belonged in them –even after more than two years in one case.
So you can imagine my reservations meeting my boyfriend’s family, knowing that their religion is a very big part of their lives. I was afraid of what they would think of me, being completely out of their religious sphere. How wrong I was to worry about anything like that at all.� I’ve honestly felt more at home with his family than even my own. They truly make me feel like I’m accepted — and though I never really thought it was something I wanted, it feels somehow like what I’ve been looking for.
And seriously, of all the families I’ve spent a lot of time in, theirs has been the one with the most love and laughter of all.
Knowing this, feeling this, and experiencing this has made me really take a step back and look at my views on organized religion as a whole….And what I’ve somewhat come to realize is this:
it’s not really race, or religion, or intelligence or borderlines that create intolerance among people. It’s the people of these races, religions, intelligences and borderlines that cause the intolerance.
It’s been said before, and I’ve probably said it myself…
But I don’t think I ever really experienced the good side of it until now. 
What are your religious beliefs? How do they affect your family life? Your day to day life?
Obligatory photo:

Should I get these glasses?
November 21, 2006 at 5:49 pm · Filed under Rigamarole
No sick, No cry
Alright, so for all of you that were worried, I’m not dead [yet]. I’m finally better after blowing a bunch of caramel colored shit out of my sinuses. It was awesome.
I also found out that the throwing up had a lot to do with the fact that I don’t chew enough before I swallow.
Who knew?
Thanksgiving ShitThe nice thing about being sick is that I lost about 5 lbs — which I’m planning to gain back this weekend on
Brent‘s mom’s lumpia.
Yes, you heard it, I’m spending Thanksgiving with my boyfriend’s family. Why? Because my own family hates me. It’s OK, though, I’ll get over it one of these years.
At least Brent’s family seems to really like me.
Spiritual ShitAfter reading Life of Pi I’ve been plagued with a lot of spiritual questions. Long talks with Brent and with a coworker of mine have lead me to realize a few things.
1. Many seemingly different religions have striking similarities that go further than moral standards.
2. I can’t bring myself to believe or disbelieve anything because many stories remind me of the game ‘telephone’. Things get changed and warped little by little as time goes by. Maybe they all stem one story from the past. Maybe they were all made up. Maybe one of them is totally true and everything else is lies.
Who am I to say what’s the truth or not? Young Pi believed in all of them simultaneously.
I neither believe nor disbelieve, but I have to say, there are some religions that I do respect more than others. Not necessarily because of the beliefs of the religion itself, but more in the way that the members of that religion choose to practice their beliefs.
Obligatory Photo
And since this entry’s been somewhat dry… here’s a picture for all you non-readers out there. =]
Brent seemed missing from this group picture so I pasted him in with the magic of photoshop.

You can barely tell he wasn’t there!
NPCrew Fo’ Lyfe!
November 16, 2006 at 10:16 pm · Filed under Rigamarole
A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging prejudices.
- William James
Yes? No? I was certainly taken by this quote.
November 16, 2006 at 9:01 pm · Filed under Rigamarole
Something to think about:
Excerpted from The Life of Pi by Yann Martel
…There were always those who take it upon themselves to defend God, as if Ultimate Reality, as if the sustaining frame of existence, were something weak and helpless� These people walk by a widow deformed by leprosy begging for a few
paise, walk by children dressed in rags living in the street, and they think,”Business as usual.” But if they perceive a slight against God, it is a different story. Their faces go red, their chests heave mightily, they sputter angry words. The degree of their indignation is astonishing. Their resolve is frightening.These people fail to realize that is is on the inside that God must be defended, not on the outside. They should direct their anger at themselves. For evil in the open is but evil from within that has been let out. The main battlefield for good is not the open ground of the public arena but the small clearing of each heart. Meanwhile, the lot of widows and homeless children is very hard, and it is to their defence, not God’s, that the self-righteous path should rush.
There are many who would do well to try to understand the above clip.That said, if more religious zealots would spend less time preaching and more time doing, I think I would respect their views a lot more.
November 15, 2006 at 6:27 pm · Filed under Rigamarole
Sorry about yesterday’s cryptic entry.
Being sick for the last 2 weeks has taken its toll on me.
I haven’t been able to breathe through my nose consistantly for a really long time.
Been throwing up for the past two days.
Been feeling like throwing up for three days.
Some blood came out yesterday but I think it’s just my throat being fucked up from my stomach juices + coughing.
No one feels pretty when they can’t breathe through their nose and they think they’re going to hurl any second.
I know that, it just sucks and is depressing being a Snotty McSnotface and a Barfy McBarfbags all day long.
So forgive me for being emo, but i’m fucking depressed right now.
Oh yeah, and thanks to those self-righteous pricks who told me I can only be pretty outside when I feel pretty inside.
You try feeling good about yourself when you’re burping vomit 5 times an hour.
Really.
November 15, 2006 at 12:45 am · Filed under Rigamarole
i want to feel pretty again.
November 3, 2006 at 10:11 pm · Filed under Rigamarole
You know you’re sick when:
You try to put soup in your mouth and it ends up on your shirt.
Your cheers get cut off with a weird frog-like croak.
Simple programming looks like greek.
Someone please buy me some drugs and put me out of my misery!
November 2, 2006 at 7:01 pm · Filed under Rigamarole
On the way we took some videos:
One of the stage performances.
A girl on a banana
November 1, 2006 at 6:58 pm · Filed under Rigamarole
Recipe for Destruction
Being Sick
Car Accident [my fault]
Home on Halloween Night
Contact From Estranged Family Members +
Worst day ever.
I want to curl up and die.
*edit*
For all of you that have been asking, physically i’m stellar — okay, not stellar… But nothing is wrong in relation to the car accident. I changed lanes into someone on the freeway because I didn’t see them in my blindspot.
The damage is about $1135 which i’m paying out of pocket because I don’t want to deal with insurance. I need money to pay for this or I’ll have 18 dollars in my bank account for the rest of the month.
October 31, 2006 at 6:14 pm · Filed under Rigamarole
RE: Cunt!
So yesterday while I was at work I decided to test out Xanga’s new messaging features.
If you are one of my subscribers, you received a message with the subject title “Cunt!”
…Wow. I can’t believe the response.
I’ve received 189 messages in response! Since yesterday!
My inbox is also hilarious
Imagine, 10 pages of RE: Cunt!
Ahh, the ways in which I amuse myself…
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