day in day out im split and torn about what to write here. i write so much at times. write so much and for no reason just to empty myself of all the shit that’s going through my head. but then i never know what to put here. what will i write for the people that i know so that they can know how i am doing? i’m alive i guess.

it makes me happy that people stop by and read this. it makes me so glad that people care enough to read about it. yet at the same time it makes it so difficult for me to figure out what to write about.

at one time it was so easy. links and entries and tell you what i did during the day. but i don’t want that anymore. i don’t want to be just another journal slash blog with a webcam pic and uninsightful entries about what i ate for dinner and the people that i encounter through the day.

yet, what else do i know? what else can i write about? i struggle. it comes to others so easily it seems. i envy them. what interests me? what can i write about?

it all goes back to my lack of passion. a subject i already addressed… but something that’s been bothering me still. herein lies the root of all my problems. still, i can’t write about things that i really am worried about because — well, because i’ve written it before.

my lack of passion. my lack of motivation. the bane of my existance.