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Friday February 18, 2005 at 12:03 pm

February 18, 2005 at 8:03 pm · Filed under Rigamarole

Depression

As of late, I’ve been exposed to many types of blogs. The ones that touch me the most are the ones that I can relate to on a personal level.

Stories of death and suicide always bring chills to my spine and unbidden memories to my mind. I can’t escape what I once was, though I try so hard to convince myself that I’ve changed. Some days I feel myself slipping back into that old comfortable sleeve of depression. How do I get out? It’s a place I know so well, that once I’m there, sometimes it feels easy.

It’s funny, that depression can feel easy. Sometimes it really is, though. Easier to be depressed than happy. Depression I don’t have to work at, depression doesn’t take extra thought, extra care, extra effort. Happiness is something I must constantly fuel with things, people, activities. Alone and left to my own devices, my mind easily falls back into the place in which it is most comfortable.


KimCam 2001

Negative > * ?

Why is the positive so easily pWned by the negative?

Thinking about this made me realize something I have always known — destruction, devastation, and depression will always be easier to achieve than their positive counterparts. Why is this though?

Why is it that to lose everything, all you have to do is nothing, while to gain anything of worth you have to work hard? Why is it that things that take years and years to be developed can be destroyed in a single act of nature, or of human?

Take the tsunami for example.
Take a long-term relationship cut short by the mistake of one person.
Take a building destroyed by a wrecking ball.
An instant, that’s all it takes to destroy something that may have taken a lifetime to create.

Is this just a fact of life?

Or is this because as humans, we can’t be satisfied with something that isn’t hard to achieve?

..Like all of those people who are only interested in “the thrill of the chase” and the instant that they catch their prey, they lose interest… Like how girls are taught to play “hard to get” at a young age… Like how a lot of activities are only fun if you have to struggle to become good, if you have competition and the chance of defeat.

Are bad/negative results just easier to achieve, or are we psychologically inclined to believe that the only things worth having we have to work for?

TODAYS LINK
A section of my blog to encourage a bigger internet
Zesdagen.blogspot.com: Beautiful writing. Appears to be a mixture of truth and fiction. It touches me. I highly, highly recommend the entry entitled “Midnight Tourist”.

Love,
Kim
shitlinks:[x] [x] [camville] [camwhores]

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TenThousandPoetWarriors said,

February 18, 2005 @ 12:08 pm

for some reason i want to say entropy…the universe tends towards disorder but such an answer is very unsatisfactory.but the answer is not fate.

TenThousandPoetWarriors said,

February 18, 2005 @ 12:09 pm

yeah, the world is messed up…but there is hope.

Sup007 said,

February 18, 2005 @ 12:11 pm

I guess it depends on the person and how you view things.  The old saying “Is the glass half empty or half full”  I am depressed from time to time but I find it’s easier for me to be happy than sad.  Maybe it’s my mind just trying to convince my soul i’m ok but all in all in my happy little bubble things have a tendency to be built up not torn down….

kbabe44 said,

February 18, 2005 @ 12:12 pm

i dont think it has to do wit the chase.  it’s just a fact of life we gotta work to get what we want.  but then again, i’m a person who’s had to work for everything unlike some ppl who just get handed things to them.  i’m sure they find the same happiness even if they didnt have to work for it.

blankiethief said,

February 18, 2005 @ 12:27 pm

Maybe I’m simple-minded and easy to please, but to me, happiness is easy. The big things are always a great accomplishment, but it is the simple pleasures in life that help me through, that keep me content. A rainy day. Freshly baked cookies. A thoughtful email from someone I don’t know very well. It’s these little things that are often overlooked that feed me until I earn or get to “that next big thing”.
It’s only a state of mind and changing it is simply up to you.

shaolinLFE said,

February 18, 2005 @ 12:28 pm

I am sure there will be smarter answers to this blog than mine by smarter, and better looking people than me.
but my suggestion is to google what cognitive dissonance is.

onestyle said,

February 18, 2005 @ 12:28 pm

Walk it off!Just kidding!I think many people “settle” for happiness. But happiness is not something that can simply exist on its own. It belongs on the extreme end on a scale… and in order to see the entire scope of the scale, we need to know whats on the other side. ya know? If you stay perfectly still, you’ll only find yourself in the center.. between nothing and nothing.I think most people are afraid of sadness because there is soo much unknown. But thats the beauty of it. It’s a perfectly human emotion. So if you feel it, it just means you might very much be alive.

xgdawg007x said,

February 18, 2005 @ 12:33 pm

i’m sick of heartbreaking korean girls that lose interest once they get a guy.

rubberduckiesandcheese said,

February 18, 2005 @ 12:38 pm

I don’t trust people enough to read my posts about death and such. That’s what LJ is for.

Suicide_Society said,

February 18, 2005 @ 12:39 pm

Interesting.

hjyou said,

February 18, 2005 @ 12:50 pm

Time and place to be happy and sad.Take solace in Aristotlian virtue of moderation.

Blue_Ginger said,

February 18, 2005 @ 12:57 pm

I see depression as something that takes alot of energy, at least for me.  When I feel depressed, physically and mentally I am drained.  But when I am happy, I feel free and light like I’m invincible.  I think one has to be truly happy with themselves in order to become resilient.  I think those who are easily depressed have alot of issues that haven’t been resolved which puts a toll on their physical, emotional and spiritual self.

TenThousandPoetWarriors said,

February 18, 2005 @ 1:19 pm

you wrote:”Green and pink reminds me of sailor jupiter”my favorite was sailor mercury. she was the smart one!

TurkShady said,

February 18, 2005 @ 1:28 pm

I’m never depressed.  Ever.
Why don’t you join me for the struggle for those with less than you?
Maybe it’s just people from the states.  I think many Americans are extremely introvereted.  Some only think of themselves.  There was this one girl in our international dormitory that would speak only about HERSELF.  She had not a single notion for rules of tact or engagment w/ other social beings.  Americans are known for individuality but it comes at a cost.  They become so wrapped up in themselves that they care little for what’s outside their microcosmic world.  If it doesn’t involve their friends, America, or wallet they don’t care. 
Look outside of your own life.  Our life-span lasts only in a blink of an eye and then we are gone.  It’s important to do something in this world that is of some relevance instead of pursing material wealth or mindless debauchery.
There are groups, organisations, and causes that out live us.  Give yourself to something worthy (Oxfarm, Red Cross, Amnesty International).  Only when we look to our fellow human beings and see their extreme misery can we truly see that our pursuit of new toys and distractions is naught but a waste of time.
You are young, and you still have time to choose a career or profession that brings you joy.   Find something that makes the most of your time, find something that gives you worth. Only then will you address what currently ailes you.  Sadly enough, some may never feel depressed or find their ‘wake up’ call. But it is difficult to find something that gives us that worth, that feeling that raises us up and out of our slump.
So what will give a job worth?  I believe it is a thing that works for the common good of all people.  The greatest person is the one that works to make the highest number of people happy.
The future is glorious, the road is trecherous.

CiaoMichaella said,

February 18, 2005 @ 2:05 pm

i dunno… sometimes i feel it’s better to have guaranteed failure or heartache cuz at least there’s a form of guarantee rather than having to risk everything to uncertainty

dailyhaiku said,

February 18, 2005 @ 2:19 pm

Welcome to the Daily Haiku!

honeynutmeg said,

February 18, 2005 @ 2:21 pm

i agree, as of late is just easy to fall into depression and stay there than to fight it and fake happines….but of course, you know me and see me all the time so you probably already knew that…now for comments on the comments….”I don’t trust people enough to read my posts about death and such. That’s what LJ is for.” – AH-MEN! i love my livejournal…xanga isnt for me any more…weve talked about this a bajillion times”There are groups, organisations, and causes that out live us. Give yourself to something worthy (Oxfarm, Red Cross, Amnesty International). Only when we look to our fellow human beings and see their extreme misery can we truly see that our pursuit of new toys and distractions is naught but a waste of time.” – i totally agree, 100%…but this dood obviously doesnt know about cki or how k-fam consumes/d your life…anyways…luff ya

ALN_with_an_E said,

February 18, 2005 @ 2:21 pm

if things are given to you, you never know it’s worth. 
you never miss your water till your well runs dry, i never missed my woman till she said goodbye.  -USher
be happy, your friends with me

RSmeith said,

February 18, 2005 @ 2:33 pm

( :: hi
yeah im friends with Johnny Q, its true.  im Joey. i linked your main site on my site a week or so ago, hope you dont mind (guess i should have asked for permission.)  i had no idea you guys worked together.  (i .. . ive been … delighted by your words and thoughts, enjoy it very much so.)

Ninja_brodie said,

February 18, 2005 @ 2:46 pm

Honestly, I don’t know why it is that the negative things in life always have an easier time of messin’ stuff up… and I don’t know why it seems that depression is easier to be in than happiness…. I can kinda feel where you are at, though…. and I must say that depression sucks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  But, all that I can tell you is that to smile it takes like like what? 7 muscles to complete…. whereas to frown it takes 47 muscle(not exactly sure about the muscle count, but you get the idea)… so just start with the small things…. try to smile, instead of frown…. then you can build from there… and hopefully you can come out of your depressed emotions….
I hope that I helped… even somewhat….
till next time…..

brokeni_nnocencex said,

February 18, 2005 @ 2:52 pm

Take the tsunami for example.Take a long-term relationship cut short by the mistake of one person.Take a building destroyed by a wrecking ball.An instant, that’s all it takes to destroy something that may have taken a lifetime to create.
howw true..i never realized thiis till now. but maybe because im blinded by all the sweet things that come into my life.

KingAmongDorks said,

February 18, 2005 @ 3:17 pm

Then again, they’re always that one thing that’ll make you laugh out of no where, like, people you hate getting hit in the nuts, or yelling “MY PUBES LOOK LIKE JIMMY CARTER” at random people…

Thoughts_from_my_dick said,

February 18, 2005 @ 3:36 pm

depression IS comfortable in a sick way.  if ur used to it, i dunno.. it feels like home.  then, happiness just feels like spouts of interruption from the reality of the grey.

kayisabubblebootay said,

February 18, 2005 @ 4:13 pm

Depression is the easy way out. I can’t even begin to count how many times I’ve slipped back into that world.

lipxlockingx said,

February 18, 2005 @ 4:13 pm

I’ll try and put some more of my drawings up. I am glad you like them :).  You are BEAUTIFUL.
//EMT

estoychino said,

February 18, 2005 @ 4:19 pm

lol im not one of them am i?.those depressing blogs=/

Diahrea_and_Bloating said,

February 18, 2005 @ 4:24 pm

well for me, my traditional chinese family used put downs to keep me in line, but as the years went on, i just put myself down instead, so from years of programming, im just used to only seeing the bleak side of things.
but this is just me.

huckgwai said,

February 18, 2005 @ 4:30 pm

i can relate, sometimes the blood shed overwhelms me…random eprops

SailorJerry said,

February 18, 2005 @ 4:57 pm

I like the guy who mentioned entropy after all the second law of thermodynamics applies to everything… now enough ‘smart’ stuff. people become depressive so easily because of our keen ability to see our failures tenfold while downplaying our success to the point where they are nominal at best. Otherwise we are percieved as cocky or overly proud we are simply herd animals that will adapt our own pesonal feeling to be part of the herd. Anyway glad to have you back with us again I missed you though I have read you for a short while your posts … spark… uh prod… can’t say it simply let’s just say they spur me to contemplative thoughts on life and my part in it. thank you

someday2return said,

February 18, 2005 @ 5:23 pm

Everything has it’s balance…if someone does something wrong, someone else will learn from that mistake and life revolves or stops for no one so you just have to keep learning and growing. I love the little drawings! hahaK

ZESDAGEN said,

February 18, 2005 @ 6:02 pm

It’s because we are prejudice towards life that there is conflict. There always has to be this constant struggle between the bad and the good, the inessential and essential. When really, the essentials and inessentials are each a part of life’s experience. What meaning would living have if we had all of the answers to our search for happiness, fulfillness, etc? Why should daily living be centralized around opinions or some value?This is an insightful post. The readers will all discover that analyzing the problem is a lot more enlightening – instead of seeking for some temporary solution or escape (drugs, violence, etc.)

CivicRacr said,

February 18, 2005 @ 6:09 pm

because falling into a pit is easy, gravity takes over, hehe…but what goes up must come down…then up again

o0negai0o said,

February 18, 2005 @ 6:11 pm

hey, nice pg u got here^^
yeh, depression reallie gets into me easily.
mah frds alwayz ask me to cheer up, but wut is there to cherr about?!
they rather face happiness n avoid depress drama shows, i just dun get it sometimes. u still gota face reality.

NoOdL3_bOy said,

February 18, 2005 @ 6:28 pm

Whoo! let’s hear it for the pessimistic! *high five*I wish I had an answer to give, but I’m somewhat similar…

ARSENICfusion said,

February 18, 2005 @ 6:32 pm

your xanga rocks

delaphus said,

February 18, 2005 @ 6:41 pm

i guess if your happy then your happy. but always to acheive true happiness is to always descend into darkness.

JCFans said,

February 18, 2005 @ 7:43 pm

I think it’s just the fact of life that anything bad can overpower anything good more easily. For example, a bad word of someone will travel more quickly than the raging tornado, even from country to country, espescially for Chinese people LOL.
I can’t comment that long. Gotta go study! lol.

picassosinatra said,

February 18, 2005 @ 8:17 pm

I’ve grown to feel that depression is a normal part of life…although if you’re always depressed, you may want to check that out with a doctor.  But having bouts of depression I think is normal.  If you never felt depressed, then you wouldn’t really know what it means to be happy.  If you are feeling depressed now and the feeling lingers–perhaps there’s some deep seated issue that you need to work out or some aspect of your life you need to get rid of to alleviate the depression.  Just take an honest look on your life and see what you feel needs change and then pursue it.  It takes just as much work to be depressed as it does to be happy.  The difficulty of depression is taking the time to find out why.  Good luck with your sorrows.

thatyellowbastid said,

February 18, 2005 @ 8:31 pm

What came first, the music or the misery? People worry about kids playing with guns, or watching violent videos, that some sort of culture of violence will take them over. Nobody worries about kids listening to thousands, literally thousands of songs about heartbreak, rejection, pain, misery and loss. Did I listen to pop music because I was miserable? Or was I miserable because I listened to pop music?

Sandsid said,

February 18, 2005 @ 8:34 pm

being depressed does feel easier… takes less energy

yerbabygirl said,

February 18, 2005 @ 9:02 pm

many things can be thought of in many ways; just as i know the passage i wrote most recently could be seen from a nostalgic, sad, forlorn point of view, I wrote it in the less convetional sense.  The cheerful, sometimes sweetly sad, but still happy anticipation of a person you love like miss.

yerbabygirl said,

February 18, 2005 @ 9:31 pm

also darling, i remember the days of your depression, during the younger years of MadPimp.com, when all interaction was more alien than now.  You’ve gone a very long way since those days, and I’m happy for you.  If you can do that, you definitely have the strength to keep the you that you love. 
and if that isn’t enough strength for you, please keep in mind that Shoplifting builds muscles, too.  Not really, but you get the point (that wasn’t there to be made in this sentence, but i think you know that I mean the point made previously, in wiser passages).
I apologize for any confusing words, because its late and I am sick (excuses, excuses, I know).

Tinatamad2001 said,

February 18, 2005 @ 10:01 pm

We live & we learn..

konahrtist said,

February 18, 2005 @ 10:42 pm

i don’t necessarily see depression as a bad thing. nor do i see destruction or devastation bad either. us, as measly humans, need all that crappy stuff in our lives to know what we really have…yet at the same time humans are dumb so even when we actually have all this good things goin on for us, we don’t notice it because…well…either we choose not too (for reasons that be…ie, for attention or seeking sympathy from others, etc.) or we’re just too focused on noticing the bad instead of good.
god damn i just rambled on like a bastard. i think i lost myself in that god awful run-on sentence.
(note to self: think before typing…and if possible…just stop period!)
…
[cough]
…
another thing to consider is that without death, destruction, devastion and depression, we wouldn’t have life, consrtuction, creation, and happiness. destruction is just all part of the beauty of creation.
OH MY GOD…i sound like a fuckin’ fortune cookie. okay i’ll stop right now. i hate talking like this hahhaha…please be kind and mind my randomness.
[bows down before her]
…hrm…”thrill of the chase”…although i sometimes don’t like it, you do have to admit that it’s just apart of this whole game of hooking up with folks. it can be fun…unless the person that you’re chasing after is playing a little too hard to get which then rubs off as them just being a dick…
…or maybe it’s just a sign that they don’t want you to be chasing them so therefore they seem like they’re playing hard to get but instead they’re just trying to get far far away from you. that could be a possiblity. it could just be that you might be too blinded and oblivious to the blunt fact that that person isn’t interested. hahahahhahaha.
okay, well i’ve wasted enough space on your page and of your valuable time so i’ll leave you be.
[whacks his head on his keyboard and passes out, rolling off his chair and on to the floor]
peace.

weiji said,

February 18, 2005 @ 10:44 pm

puppy torture experiment: puppy in container with electrified floor. voltage on. puppy is shocked, can’t escape, soon lays down and just whimpers.take another puppy in another container with the same floor, but there’s an opening. run the voltage, puppy finds the hole and jumps out.now, put the first puppy in the second container. run the voltage. even though there’s the hole, it just lays down and whimpers… cuz that’s how it learned to be helpless.p.s. i only _heard_ about this experiment. i’m not fond of torturing puppies.

Child_of_the_Dark said,

February 18, 2005 @ 11:06 pm

Thanks for the recommendation. Good writer.I read your entry, but my brain is too fried to comment.

PsYkOxAzNxFrEaK said,

February 18, 2005 @ 11:17 pm

ill let you in on a little secret about myself. although it might not seem like it now, i, too suffered from a great lack self-fulfilling hope; hence, was depressed a good duration during my adolencent years all the way up into my high school years. ill never willingly admit it anyone (i dont know why i even say this to you now, perhaps cause i know you can empathize with my words), but in actuality i can relate a lot with what you wrote about along with your concern of how easily we can lose the things we work so hard for. anyhow, notably, without depression, in my opinion, we would be able to feel AS happy or AS unconditionally satisfied than we are without it… i guess what im trying to argue runs along the lines of “sweet wouldnt be as sweet without the taste of sour” hopefully that made some sense. yes? no? maybe so? haha. id like to think the glass is half full, but eh… life is, for a lack of a better word, weird. thus, que sera sera (whatever will be will be)…

HotterBoy said,

February 19, 2005 @ 12:39 am

Life is about learning to deal with loss, and not being connected to everything in such a way where one gets their sense of self externally. But we all do anyway to some extent. Depression is resentment about something turned inward. And then there comes a discovery that’s personal with success. It never gives the feeling we expected when we get there. There is a sense of ‘WTF’ I have had more success than I mention on my site. You might be surprised. See Kim, I have a depthful side…although I need to go bang someone now. Ha

iMiTaTioN_iz_SuiCiDe said,

February 19, 2005 @ 1:31 am

aaaiiiiieeeee!!!! ur baaaaack!!! so nice to have u return!!! hope your break was valuable to u tho….
whoa… this was sooo interesting… so thought provoking cuz i never ever even considered it this way:
“Depression I don’t have to work at, depression doesn’t take extra thought, extra care, extra effort. Happiness is something I must constantly fuel with things, people, activities.”
excellent point… like i’ve always noticed that the negative always tends to win out more easily over the positive, but never realized that it’s just cuz negativity is easier.. u simply dont hafta work at it… and heck, sometimes we jus be wantin to take a lil break….
i dont think it’s just because we’re psychologically inclined to think the only things worth having are the ones we work for though… because that would imply that we arent lazy, and we are… too many people definitely expect the better things to just come to them, and dont really want to act or put forth any effort of their own if they dont have to… at least that’s been my observation… so i just think makin the things worth havin the ones u hafta work for was just nature’s way of makin sure that only those who truly deserve it ever experience it…. just a thought…

misstequila said,

February 19, 2005 @ 1:56 am

it’s true
what goes up most come down….

eileen216 said,

February 19, 2005 @ 2:21 am

I came accross some disturbing xanga sites as well.  The ones that bother me the most are young girls talking about being aneroxic and they actually cheer each other on.

mood_peace said,

February 19, 2005 @ 2:31 am

cooler than a polar bear’s toenail. mother my children.

soxpink said,

February 19, 2005 @ 5:14 am

Your depression thing really got to me. I’ve been severly depressed myself a few times. I just got out about a month ago. But I feel like I’m going back to it now. Now that my world is falling apart.

Big_Boobie_Goddess_Kayla said,

February 19, 2005 @ 5:26 am

Awww cute Xanga!;-). Eprops for you:-) Have a peachy day:-D Depression sucks…but you cant let it control you:-)

lipxlockingx said,

February 19, 2005 @ 5:31 am

I will check out his site sometime soon. Hope you have a good weekend.

stupidcrazy said,

February 19, 2005 @ 6:07 am

I know it been said, but depression is a state of mind, on to other subject on hand, After read my entry u said my entry got u kinda horny and posted that pic of u glowing in sheer X-tasy.  Did u do anything about it?  That one cracked me up.

lipxlockingx said,

February 19, 2005 @ 6:48 am

doll you were one of the 13 :)

thatyellowbastid said,

February 19, 2005 @ 7:43 am

I rarely write anything really personal on my blog because i don’t like the concept of ePity or eEmpathy.  If I have problems that good music or a home cooked meal can’t fix, I turn to my family and friends.  Though I guess that means I pity those that don’t have any other outlet for their emotions. 

iLOVEyouREALLY said,

February 19, 2005 @ 7:57 am

wow. you write some pretty deep stuff. i’m sorry to say that i didn’t look to see how old you are. not that it really matters, its just that i wanted to see how old you were in comparison to me, well i’m only 13..but age is just a title right?
myself, i’ve never been in depression, but i feel like i might be falling into it. i’ve stopped smiling as much. i can’t seem to make people laugh anymore. i feel like a lesser version of me. i can’t really explain it all, but i guess thats how i’m feeling. and yeah, depression is the easy way out. i’m prone to always taking the easy way out. but that doesn’t always help me out. well now i’m just blabbering on about something useless.
anyways. i wanted to stop by your site and leave you a lovely comment. so here it is:
“hey. random props, your site is really pretty, and so are you!
x(). Erika J-ane”

SaikoHapa said,

February 19, 2005 @ 8:33 am

art in words…its funny, but I always felt that you put your thoughts into writing well…in a way that seemed to flow.
Depression is much easier to achieve, on that we will agree.  I don’t beleive that society indoctrinates us with the belief that happiness takes work.  I feel that its something most people come to realize on their own.  To feel sorrow or pain you merely have to look out upon the world and let it effect you.  This can happen by seeing what you lack, or just by the indifference of good men.  In fact it can happen in a myriad of ways too numerous to count.  Conversely, while you might take joy in small things, they do not complete you nor make you whole in your happiness.  They can only serve to lighten your mood.
Even so, hapiness is definately not assurred.  “I am not sure which is more amusing, the fact that you can do everything wrong and win, or that you can do everything right and lose.”  The quote isnt mine, but it rings true.  Life is a random series of events.  Or if you believe in chaos theory, a pattern so complex as to be indeciperable.  Where does that leave us?  On the edge, never knowing if our actions will impact the world around is in the manner we wish them to, but hoping for the best. ;=P

aznbro85 said,

February 19, 2005 @ 9:50 am

i think we as humans are, for the most part, “neutral” creatures.  most of the time we aren’t happy nor sad.  we just chugg along and do what we need to do to pass another day.
it’s just that when we start to overthink and overanalyze, that’s when we start to get depressed.  and rightly so.  when you think about all the events happening all around you it would make you feel depressed.  i completely agree that happiness is spurred by actions, while sadness and depression need nothing to make you feel that way.
sorry kim, if what i said doesnt make any sense.  it made sense in my head, but now that i reread it, it doesn’t.. =Xoh well, anyways, hope you have a great president’s day weekend :-)

auracle said,

February 19, 2005 @ 10:00 am

“Hope…It’s not a rare commodity, but we tend to value it so much in our misery” -MeLife is a struggle. If it was not, then we will have no reason to live it. That’s why they made The Matrix. :-D

aai2on said,

February 19, 2005 @ 10:05 am

depressions a motherfucker.

randidoodles said,

February 19, 2005 @ 10:06 am

I agree with your thoughts on depression… it’s easy, almost comfortable to keep reverting back to it.  However, I strongly believe that although I slip back into that world on occasion, nothing can make a human feel more worthwhile than working hard for something and achieving it, whether it’s capable of being destroyed in 20 seconds or not.  Work ethic is hard to find these days, in any form, especially among Americans.  Just because what we do with our lives as humans can be reduced to nothing by natual disaster or something similar doesn’t mean it isn’t worth devoting our lives to. It all ends eventually anyway, and life is made up of taking chances, so I think we’re all better off trying and failing that reasoning ourselves out of an attempt.

IAmAphroditeDude said,

February 19, 2005 @ 10:08 am

I think all of these comments have pretty much summed up what I would want to say and then some. To stand in the middle is to stand in nothing, in darkness. It could be so much more unpleasant. To know one extreme, you must know the other. Someone has already said all of this so I will quit. I really like what you write. I really do.

buck_feenz said,

February 19, 2005 @ 10:21 am

duck duck goose, never lose your imagination.

Nickotine said,

February 19, 2005 @ 10:26 am

i like reading your stuff [= i used to be a depressed guy, oooh and zes degan is my friend hah, (joseph) MY TWIN!!@!@#!@# ok im done now BYE

fizzuhl said,

February 19, 2005 @ 10:28 am

Hm I never thought about it like that. I think it’s easier to be unsatisfied with what you don’t have than with what you do have. Cliches still hold true ;) I don’t know why that is…but I know that’s how it is for me. It’s like you have to force yourself to be happy with what you have – you can’t stop thinking about getting more – not just materialism but anything…whether its a promotion. higher salary, higher grades, better school…whatever it is. Maybe it’s just the way we were raised…a lot of people don’t ever feel that way, or don’t let it show.

kalamai said,

February 19, 2005 @ 10:39 am

i don’t think anyone is ever truly happy. i call it happy and sad at the same time. for example, you get happy that you’ve earned good grades/just had a great date. then your mind has time to wander when you’re in the shower or right before you go to sleep and you think about your friend who’s out there somewhere depressed over something in their own life. or maybe that’s just me. i can’t just not care cause they’re my friends you know?
i think it’s easier for me to worry bout others than myself. i’m often depressed because of things people do rather than my mess ups. i don’t dwell on bad grades because a new semester is about to start and it’s my chance to try again. blah now i’m just ranting. i blame the ugly weather =P

Azian_Chink said,

February 19, 2005 @ 10:44 am

Hey Girl!!!!!! So…What r u doing? I hope u ok..So…i guess talk to yal later.
Bye 

inscrutable_soul said,

February 19, 2005 @ 10:51 am

If happiness was so easily attainable, would it be worth as much to us as it is now? If there were no negative outcomes in life, would faith, hope, and the sense of accomplishment exist? If everything we wanted was given to us, what purpose do we have left?

skeedaddle said,

February 19, 2005 @ 11:44 am

Happinessis not about what happens to you, but how you choose to respond to what happens. that’s why it’s called happiness not happenness – though it could be called hope-ness. you must always leave room for hope that all has happened for good cause.you always have a choice of emotional responses to life.- karen salmansohn”…and don’t even have the courtesy to say something that is remotely related to what I have written.”this happens far too often. i have not been on xanga the same duration you have, but receiving replies such as, “nice post” or “interesting,” the short time i’ve xangaed leaves much to be desired. what’s interesting? what’s nice about the post? a little elaboration isn’t difficult.

PoemsAboutYou said,

February 19, 2005 @ 1:27 pm

Lots of questions.
I’m going to try to answer them all,
In a random order.
I kind of guess bad is easier,
Because you don’t do anything.
Depression’s the same thing.
Are bad/negative results just easier to achieve, or are we psychologically inclined to believe that the only things worth having we have to work for?
Umm…
The second part,
And the first.
But more of the second,
I think.

gedDmor2Life said,

February 19, 2005 @ 2:18 pm

the mind made self is addicted to negativity.the way out is through self awareness- to realize you are not your mind, or emotions.

neb001 said,

February 19, 2005 @ 2:21 pm

Hmm, it seems everytime I go to post a comment, all that I was going to say has already been said by the previous 200 commenters, but anyways, I just wanted to say that I can totally relate with the slipping back into depression, it has happened a few times to me too in the past.

flclnyboy said,

February 19, 2005 @ 4:40 pm

wow……

TormentedHeartz said,

February 19, 2005 @ 4:48 pm

I know how you feel. lol. I feel so weird right now…Life sucks.

aHARDCORESTUDyer said,

February 19, 2005 @ 4:57 pm

huamans are pretty much impossible to satisfy, especially those who have a lot of goals in life. if one has a lot of dreams and hopes for the future, and snags come along the way, it can be heartbreaking, and depressing. hm yea…my own experience perhaps.

pinknika16 said,

February 19, 2005 @ 6:27 pm

hey,i feel the same way as u,i use 2 feel worse.it gets better trust me.i don’t understand how people can be so happy either.i use 2 think that the only way people could get happy wuz 2 take a happy pill and everything would be fine.u r very pretty compared 2 some of the kids at my skool.what exactly is beauty?i don’t really get it thats why i used 2 be depressed.well i g2g sry i just wanted 2 say that. nikki

x_MiZz_LuShUz_x said,

February 19, 2005 @ 9:30 pm

hey sweetie !! just wanted to stop by and give u random propz on ur page and i hope dat u will return tha favor !! hope dat ur habbing a great weekend !! gtg toodlez !! xoxoxo

WolferasDreams said,

February 19, 2005 @ 11:38 pm

Many a sad lonely night laying in my special bubble of wellknown melonchaly. Depression is a tough thing, I wonder if anybody truly escapes the battle with it….So exactly what I wanted to say that I linked you in my own journal, just an fyi :)

blackthai said,

February 20, 2005 @ 3:40 am

i know what you mean i write that stuff in poems like suicide

lauren_ganda said,

February 20, 2005 @ 8:04 am

“it’s easier to be depressed than to be happy”.. i’ve never heard of that before, but it is so true. interesting point of view.

Karissa said,

February 20, 2005 @ 8:34 am

You are not alone in this struggle. I have dealt with depression and mental illness all of my life. Please check out my xanga site at http://xanga.com/karissa
Take Care
Karissa

crewj said,

February 20, 2005 @ 9:27 am

i worked as a crisis worker. i’ve seen more cases of suicide and depression more than anyone should see in a lifetime.

Tierneysweets said,

February 20, 2005 @ 11:32 am

I know exactly what you mean… im clinically deppressed but its like i have to hide it… like your wearing a mask kind of you know? Its so easy to slip back into depression because its so easy to feel sorry for yourself. I know exactly where your coming from… and to be able to post something like that shows a lot of courage. I wish I could write something like that on my xanga or write what i truly feel ya know? Its just that all my friends have this idea of who I am and if they read something like that then theyd freak. They think I am this perfect girl who is always happy. when Im not. I go to school and I am their image and then I come home and cry myself to sleep. All I can say is that it sucks. It really and truly does.

ohn0itsnate said,

February 20, 2005 @ 12:44 pm

Depressions best friend is boredom. 3 or 4 times a week I have a one and a half hour commute, and find it difficult sometimes to think pleasant thoughts. But then sometimes I find thoughts to entertain myself with. And other times I feel like a madman, left alone with his crazy thoughts.

claireyyx said,

February 21, 2005 @ 9:48 am

i can give you some psychological bullshit insight, something about genetic predispositions and diathesis-stress models. but the more reasons i list, the more reasons i may find. multidisciplinary is a word that can be applied to almost anything. especially when it comes to the human psyche. so i have no answer. except maybe from personal experience… nah.. forget about it.

Night_Chills said,

February 21, 2005 @ 10:53 am

Depression does suck, but I think “purpose” helps you out of it whether it be hobbies, family, or work.  But the bottom line is, you need to have something that makes you happy or depression will obviously be the result.My anti-depressant: Sports and Computers (what a nerd)

Shaunventor said,

February 21, 2005 @ 12:31 pm

I think miserable is consistent, wheras happy is not.  Consistency is nice when you don’t like rude awakenings and surprises, and I think depression/unhappiness/etc. provides that, if nothing else.  I like to reside in middle-of-the-road-content myself.
Tearing down is always easier than building up.  Just one of those facets of life proven time and again by natural disasters and nitroglycerin.  But hey… you can’t stop eating for fear of choking, and you shouldn’t avoid building for fear of destruction.
Human nature does seem to like a challenge, and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with enjoying a hard-fought win.  But people take it too far when they want a challenge just for the sake of a challenge, or they won’t accept a victory without a struggle.  I don’t know why they like making their lives so difficult, but you don’t have to do the same.

Kamakaze_Kid said,

February 23, 2005 @ 10:00 am

This comment may get lost in the shuffle, however i wanted to show my appreciation in your sharing such heartbreaking issues with the world. Feeling down on my luck often i forget that i’m not alone in this struggle, so thank you for spreading some hope my way…

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