It’s so difficult for me to have an audience nowadays? In the past it’s always been so easy to expose myself, to make myself known to all, and now that I have it — now that I’m recognized, now that I’m seen, now that I’m heard, now that I’m read… I’m not so sure I want it anymore?

Human nature is so fickle. Or maybe it’s just me. I’m going through that stage in my life when nothing seems to be right. I don’t try but I complain about how much I work. Everything is contradictory. I want to be intelligent but I feel stupid — at the same time I dumb myself down so that I look more innocent than I truly am.

I need an audience.