eighteen years of my life have passed and i’m still searching for somthing to become passionate about. i look at the people around me and i can see their passion, their will, as they do the things they love to do. i still haven’t found anything that i can truly concentrate my energies onto like that yet. some days, like today, i feel lost.
there are many things in my life that i like, things that i enjoy, but nothing that i passionately love or plan to passionately go after. there are things that bother me and things that i dislike, but nothing that i can’t ignore if i try really hard.
i want to be a rebel with a cause. or just have a cause. i want to be able to justify the things i do with something other than “because it’s beneficial to me”. i want to be able to say “oh yeah, i’m into that” without feeling as if i’m half-assed. it’s weird. i thought going to college would help me find myself. instead, i feel more lost than ever.
