Booty Call Auditions
Apply now!
Shi is officially accepting applications for one-night stands. Please provide the following information:
I will be reviewing the applicants, and winners will be announced tomorrow at 2pm. Good luck to everyone.
looks: 1size: 6 metric tonsmoves: the aligator fuckhouseposition: there’s more than one?seriously though, good luck.
this reminds me of “i dont want to know your name.. i just want to bang bang bang”
Vaginal Secretions!
me hitting from any position would have you singing in octaves.
Girls too? lol, i’m kidding.
looks: probably 11size: four words, “I’M THE JUGGERNAUT BITCH!”best moves: the “OMG WHAT JUST HAPPENED THIS GUY FUCKS LIKE A NINJA” move. it’s really cool, it’s like the orgasm just sneaks up on you and convulses your whole body.favorite position: it doesn’t matter, you won’t even know what hit you.mWAhahahAHAHaHAhAAHa, ok i didn’t get enough sleep last night and was woken up early. any lewd remarks found in this comment will be violently denied. it never happened -_____-
i dont’ have a ‘size’
haha this is cute
i’m illegal material.
looks goodsize doesn’t matterdragon uppercutdefensive
Pssshh. I’d devour you. But when you’re ready take some to fill out my application from last august.
HAPPY APRIL FOOLS DAY!
on any other day, what a lovely proposition.but.. i doubt anyone can beat out keneke anyhow.and well, your standards are pretty low, you wouldn’t make my cut. 
Good luck! I’m too heinous to apply!
This is very serious….Looks: 8/10 Penis Size: 7 inchesI have this thing called the gipsy fuckfest; it involves bells, candles, 1/2 of a hotdog, diet coca-cola, and wax. you stay on top mostly and just ride the wave.Jack Daniels has been mighty good to me in the past…
who cares about looks. there are always bags.
who cares about size. its only 5 minutes of time.
who cares about moves. its just grinding.
who cares about position. right now, im #16 on your xanga list.
and happy april fools day!
DONKEY PUNCH!DONKEY PUNCH!DONKEY PUNCH!DONKEY PUNCH!DONKEY PUNCH!DONKEY PUNCH!
that’s not equal opportunity. gender discrimination!
“Your favorite position”? That’s funny shit.
Looks: 13Size: -(negative) 3 or 4 inches.Best moves? One word: squickingFavourite position: Fettucini Alfredo
you don’t take more than 10?
umm let’s just do it and run away!
This is exciting…Lower area rigor mortisly exciting.
haha…you’re like a kid in the candy store
haha
ahemmm
Lol hehe how cute :p
you will hafta come to canada to claim ur prize .. lol
lawlerskates. this is quite amusing…tho i do believe i’m jailbait…looks: 7size: enough to pleasebest moves: i can give orgasms just by looking at you ;]fav position: i can perform the kama sutra forwards and backwards. take your pick.
love this post. it will be a long time favorite because of what it is. =)
lol wow
Looks: like my picture Size: plantain banana Best Move: the hyper-speed, 1-handed, cow-milking move Favorite Position: 66 or 99
I’d fill out an application…but you already know.
woah… ur entry just became x-rated. hahaha
Looks: 6 (a little above average)Size: 8Best moves: my best move is my sheer lasting power. I’ll go fast,slow, deep and shallow until you beg me to cum.Favorite position: After trying them all, whichever one makes youmoan the most.
I sent a photo to your gmail account
silly kim.
call me
haha… if you weren’t on a bounce, I’d apply right away! even if it’s on an April Fool’s day 
ohh! west coast time im not too late:
Looks [scale of 1-10]: not much of alooker, but i make up for it in other areas.
Size [scale of 1-10] (in inches, please): 64″ oh yeah.
List of your best moves. Illustrations are optional. “heeeyy! did you fart?!” *gives stern look.* “….cause you blew me away!” 
Your favorite position. rolling.on the floor with a belly ache from laughin too hard. let’s roll together!
damn, how horny are you?! to take auditions, no that’s one I haven’t heard
Looks:20Size: (dont laugh) 11 inch.Best Positions:69,playing outfeild,the root canal,the bobby pinFavorite position:69 only sidewayshit me up wit itoh ya the picture is fake.im actually black. hahah
REPENT AND BE SAVED
OR
FIND THEE A MANSLAVE
THEN THE UNIVERSE WILL PERFECT
Looks [scale of 1-10]: In ‘emo terms’ I’m a fuckin’ god. Size [scale of 1-10] (in inches, please): I don’t know. sixty seven inches of dead sexiness. List of your best moves: Illustrations are optional. What kind of moves? Your favorite position: Fetal, baby. I’m a virgin. Funny right? My friends make fun of me and their like, ‘Hey, you don’t want me to get the ’40 Year Old Virgin’ out again do you? Haha. I pretty much act just like him. Haha. Thanks for the fun.
Looks: 919228867499193809918291
Size 25 mm
Lotus fist and Crane style
Manager
Looks [scale of 1-10]: 11.5Size [scale of 1-10]: Gotta get back to you on this one, I can’t find my yard stick =(List of your best moves: the flying spyder monkey, the trojan warrior, the crouching buddah, the backwards rhino, the Shaolin lotus flower, and my all time favorite, the kamikazi cherry popper!Your favorite position: see above!
wow, lots of april fools day suckas posted
Hahaha, is this why you were so eager to illustrate those things for us?
it’s should be the most comical joke in this 1st April.
good luck girl, please never do anything hurt yourself even you lose someone you loved b4!
you should feel luckly and happy while someone who don’t like you left you alone.
so please be stronger, and let him feel pity for you.
we’re talking about boots right?
you have seen me in person now. and clearly the best of the lot is me. my numbers don’t even fit on your puny rating scale. it can encompass the awesomeness that is me. man has not found numbers large enough to express how ridiculously cool i am. p.s. thanks for the lesson in sexual positions this weekend!
where “can = can’t”. DAMMIT!
thats funny! Looks are in the eye of the beholder, so shouldn’t you give out looks ratings to your applicants? size: you’d have to find out for yourself. Best moves vary depending on the two people involved. favorite position is girl on top =p and happy April Fool’s day! see you around
6…
7 3/4…
Karma Sutra-2nd Printing…
Missionary (slow and deep)…
I like to press my ear against ur neck and hear ur pulse quicken plus kissing adds to pleasure.
Favorite Position: Angry Pirate “ARRRRR!!!!”
you provide the penut butter and i’ll lend you the dog. 
PICK ME, you know you want to
who will the lucky guy be???
hey kim!! i had tons of fun this weekend! you’re so cute. =)dang, i sound like a freaking teeny bopper hahaha
Looks: A modest 9.
Size: Imagine the hugest boner you’ve ever seen, maybe even a Ninja Boner. Now imagine A Robbert Simmons boner. Now imagine somewhere inbetween; and poof!, there I am.
List of your best moves: Again. Imagine a Ninja. But this time; Stop.
Your favorite position: Anything that doesn’t end in this being a Horrid April Fools Joke.Or in the Immortal words of the D: Whats your favorite posish? That’s cool with me Its not my favorite But I’ll do it for you.
Looks:… You know why Las Vegas is a desert? Its because of Robin..Size: Robin is not hung like a horse… horses are hung like Robin..Movies: I dont watch movies.. they watch me.Style: The crazy panda unleashed
some of your responses are quite interesting. i’m gonna finish reading them when i get back from class.
To take your mind off things, why don’t you participate in The Draft 2006?
how’s it turnin’ out…??? UPDATE!
good luck!
i hope you find an ideal candidate
I wonder who is taking thsi seriously… =)
wh’ happened to cakalusa?
who did u date from leland! i want to know!
haha
looks: atleast an 8, and probably more than 9 in a few drinks time.size: 9.5 or 10……in shoes, 42 european. there’s a pair at ted baker that you can get me.best moves: most underated skill is being able to transition from position to position smoothly.favorite: standing against wall.i’m telling you’d be a (april) fool not to take the offer.
Looks [scale of 1-10]
Size [scale of 1-10] (in inches, please)
List of your best moves. Illustrations are optional.
Your favorite position.1) 12) i come in small, and smaller, and x-small.3) none. really. none4) i am pathetic and i will take any position. this is also the same reason i am applying because i am hoping i will be granted some pity and that your heart–which is made of gold–will open to how pathetic i am.less than 3, albert.
although i believe you alrdy have picked someone because i am pretty belated to the whole thing.
That was a nice April’s Fool joke
ok….I’m to young for you.
Hahahaha…you’re pretty crrazy! LOL
Man I wish you good luck… not that you really need it. You are a very pretty lady.
how is ur bootycall going
Are you kidding? I don’t fill out applications for girls, they have to compete for me.
ryc: dang, i suck with names. i need to see pics. i’m guessing he was class of 99? i graduated 2000.
Looks [scale of 1-10] I would give myself a n 8 because to say 10 is lying and to say 9 is big headed and to say 7 is just lacking self-confidence which is just a turnoff!
Size [scale of 1-10] (in inches, please) Hehe – lets say i’va had no complaints so far…
List of your best moves. Illustrations are optional. Nipples and tongues and sauce – oh my!
Your favorite position. – The loudest ones.
i’m good for some fun.
ryc: in that case, i will go look at my yearbook. they better be cute. ahaha kidding.
yep, everything is alrite. i just found out a lie, and they won’t fess up so i’m pissed off. hahaha. bored at work too, but then again…i think it’s just me that doesn’t want to work at the moment.
Looks [scale of 7.6]
Size [scale of 7.4] (in inches, please)
List of your best moves.
The humpy dance, peeing on young girls, and CPR
=^D
Your favorite position.
Whats your favorite pozish?Thats cool with me,It’s not my favorite,But I’ll do it for you.I will be reviewing the applicants, and winners will be announced tomorrow at 2pm. Good luck to everyone.
I forfeit. zealousalien‘s cut me with his wit.
Hard.
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