I notice that two things motivate me to work the most — the first is sleep depravation, and the second is when I have so much to do that it’s almost impossible to get things done. I think I need that challenge (the possibility that I won’t be able to do whatever it is that I’m supposed to do), in order to make myself get off my ass and do shit.
Unfortunately, lack of sleep causes my mind to work at about fifty percent its normal rate. Take today, for example: I drove around aimlessly not knowing exactly where I was going even though I needed to go to the place and get back within an hour and a half. On the way there, I forgot completely where I was going and stopped at McDonalds to pick up some chicken nuggets for my roommate.
/*edit January 29 2002 11:00 AM
I think what I was trying to say last night is that it is curious how I tend not to get anything done unless there’s some kind of challenge involved, and most of the time the challenge tends to be either lack of time, or sleep depravation. Actually, reading back, I’m not exactly sure what I was getting at with that little anecdote about McDonald’s, but oh well.
I know I’m not alone in the lack of motivation boat, but shouldn’t a challenge make me feel LESS motivated? Shouldn’t I want to give up, rather than try harder when I think I can’t make it? What makes me lag when I know I CAN make it, only to push myself to that point where I can’t make it, and THEN try hard?
Is it just me who’s perverse? Or is this another part of human nature in general that I haven’t explored enough?
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Alright, anyhow, my sleep-deprived ass is going to sleep now. Shit. Don’t you hate the feeling that you’re forgetting something? I feel as if I’m forgetting something REALLY important. Like… REALLY important… but I can’t seem to figure out what…
