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so sudden

March 6, 2002 at 1:53 am · Filed under Rigamarole

last weekend i received news that someone from my highschool class had died. a motorcycle accident. just like that, the file in my head with memories related to him darkened with the thought “gone”. It was like a light had gone out in a certain part of my mind.

i think that’s what saddens me the most. it was a matter of seconds in which all this changedin my head. years worth of fuzzy memories, wilted somehow by the news of his death, yet at the same time coming to the surface more clearly than they had before.

i’ll admit — we were never close. but he’s one of those people that I can sincerely say I never had anything really bad to say about. he was one of those people that smiles a lot says hi to peope in the halls and makes you laugh just because.

news like this isn’t supposed to come until we’re older — until we’ve parted for long enough so that the memories are no longer fresh, so that apathy can sink in, that good old “well, I don’t even remember him anyway”. it’s not supposed to happen to people our age, to people that we know.

Loke said,

March 6, 2002 @ 8:13 am

You can ever anticipate what life will throw at you kim…anything can happen to you no matter what your age….heck every year at least 1 person from my school dies. Last year I believe 5 died. Sorry if i sound insensitive cause believe me i know how you feel…But its not just death that would bring you those thoughts… any kind of event would make you see him in a new light…hope i helped…

kim said,

March 6, 2002 @ 12:23 pm

Yeah, I guess since my school is smaller than a lot of people i’ve been talking to, it seems like we all know each other a little more. plus, this kind of thing hasn’t ever really happened at my school before. i’ve never ever known ANYBODY that died — except for my grandmother , and she was close to 90 when she died.

it’s difficult for me to adjust.

Eric said,

March 6, 2002 @ 3:00 pm

Someone in my elementary school died when I was in 2nd grade, and then someone died in 7-8th grade.

I wasn’t particularly close to either, and didn’t know how to feel.

TR said,

March 6, 2002 @ 3:30 pm

A friend of mine ODed this past September and died. It’s funny that while I kicked it with him, I wasn’t very close. Not as close as i could’ve been. I sometiems wonder why it had to be him. His life was turning around. From the stories i heard, his dad was horrible to him. Maybe this was his escape from hell. Maybe he was chosen for something greater than I could ever fathom. So what I’m saying is that while we can never understand why things happen, we can hope that there is something greater in store for them.

Nikki said,

March 6, 2002 @ 5:23 pm

i’m sorry. i hope you feel better soon, kim. when i was around 8 or 9 years old, my classmate died before returning home from school. a school bus hit her.

P.S i’m on page 9 of your cam portal. my site has relocated.

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markparadox said,

March 6, 2002 @ 7:22 pm

Hi, there. I was just thinking about what you wrote and thought it was kind of trippy. I’ll think about that every now and
then and it’s like you go into this trance like mode and have all these ideas running through your head. I graduated
from Wilcox High in Santa Clara last year, and I always wonder how everyone is doing, even people I barely knew, just
noticed walking around. Sometimes I wish I knew where they all were, too. Because it’s like all of a sudden you guys
– who crossed paths every day- just finish high school and all go your different ways.

I think that’s why I don’t like stupid sad love songs, it always reminds me. :P ~

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March 7, 2002 @ 12:47 pm

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alex said,

March 7, 2002 @ 2:58 pm

it was sort of like the people through your life. they walk in, and one day they’d leave…but death jus brings upon the "gone forever…" i duno, i had friends passed away durin hs yrs too…everytime to think bout it ish jus always that regret within, i wish i could spend more time to chill and hangout with them…more with their life you kno? i duno how you all feel bout it, but they indeed left a trace of memories in my mind like a scar on the skin. guess the lesson learned is to treasure the ones i hav around me now

Jon said,

March 7, 2002 @ 11:21 pm

Just recently, a classmate of mine died. We were never close, but always said hi from time to time in passing in college.

Seeing him at his memorial was surreal. I kept thinking that this isn’t supposed to happen yet. Not now. Not this early. It made me think how precious and fragile life is.

Dustin (DCGV02) said,

March 7, 2002 @ 11:50 pm

Dear Kim, This year three of my friends(Ryan Rhome, Steve Cavasos, and Derek Jensen) died because of a racing accident. When I first heard I like most of our friends could not stop crying, but after our mourning we realized that thinking about their death made their absense seem so much more major. Instead I tried to focus and remember the good times we had together. I will never forget ryans smile and the time he dressed up as a chick magnet for halloween. I will never forget steves goofy glasses and how he pimped around in his 57′ Chevy. There is no normal or unnormal way to deal with death. Just deal. Peace and Love. Gambatte Kudasai!!

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March 8, 2002 @ 3:51 pm

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Marc Lawson said,

March 9, 2002 @ 6:40 pm

Dark Cock is a racist fuckup we are talking about DEATH you SCUMBAG. Death it is nothingness-perfect. Don’t feel sorry for the dead. Even if you are happy you can’t say "there is absulutly nothing bad going down" if the dead could speak thats what they would say. But life is pretty good too.

me said,

March 9, 2002 @ 7:49 pm

kim…are you bisexual? No offence, just wondering.

carlo said,

March 9, 2002 @ 8:21 pm

that was really … gripping.

i guess its hard to understand.. until youve gone through losing someone close to you.
:(

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