All it took was a few hours of happiness. A few hours where I wasn’t plagued with the nagging thoughts that I’m a terrible person, a few hours to forget that I don’t like myself and all the things around me. It seems, that’s all I needed to bring myself to the other side of neutrality. The one where it’s a void, but a contentment.

I can’t say that all the angry feelings towards myself are gone, and I can’t say that I fully love myself the way that I used to only a few months back, but it seems bearable now. I feel like I can get through this. I no longer feel like my brain is imploding, that I’m being sucked into myself, into a place where no one can reach or help, no matter how loudly I cry out for help.

I feel like I can be stronger. It’ll be a long road, but now it doesn’t seem so impossible. Optimism is on the horizon!!