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Thursday April 20, 2006 at 12:31 pm

April 20, 2006 at 7:31 pm · Filed under Rigamarole

for the last month, stress has been building up quite a bit. stress with breaking up. stress with my ex [from 2 years ago]. stress with my dad calling me for the first time in 13 years. stress with my mom calling me for the first time in 1.5 years. stress with my brother. stress with school. stress with work. stress with seeing my mom for the first time in a year and ahalf. stress with my own expectations. stress of worry for my friend. stress of not being able to express my emotions the way i want to. stress on top of stress on top of stress.

i want to shut down. i need to shut down. i can’t shut down. i need to keep going.

i’m a ball of emotions, yet i feel numb.

i’ve only been 23 for a month.

is it going to be like this the whole year?

i don’t think i can handle anymore.

and yet i’m becoming numb.

at least i have my pillars. i love you guys.
thank you for always being here for me.
[steve doesn’t have a webpage, does he?]

pinktoaster said,

April 20, 2006 @ 12:36 pm

oh noes :(

franksabunch said,

April 20, 2006 @ 12:38 pm

Naw, things get better.  They always do. :-)

CaKaLusa said,

April 20, 2006 @ 12:45 pm

aroo…

vampuke said,

April 20, 2006 @ 12:50 pm

tomorrow can always be a better day

Stone_the_clergy said,

April 20, 2006 @ 12:52 pm

Hey. I have soemthing i want you to look into getting involved with.I think you would be interesting… and with your super xanga hero hood and knowing the other ones… I think you could really help.Check my xanga.Maybe it will help you get your mind off of everything that is going on._Austin

jasonpho said,

April 20, 2006 @ 1:12 pm

your truly an adult now… the childhood innocence of “worry-free” days are long gone. The challenge of course is to find those people or things that make the stress go away

bobaShop said,

April 20, 2006 @ 1:20 pm

i know it’s typical, but hang in there.. it gets better. it has to.

davidngo said,

April 20, 2006 @ 1:44 pm

i suggest….
– exercise.  get nice and sweaty with a workout.  it makes you feel better and is a great way to get out your frustration. my personal favorite is wailing away at a punching bag.  (p.s.   exercise can be interchanged with sex.  but that requires a partner..who may or may not be a source of more stress afterwards)

eklipse126 said,

April 20, 2006 @ 1:55 pm

yeah…stress…i hear ya

radjbo said,

April 20, 2006 @ 2:00 pm

i agree with frank.  things WILL get better.  sucks that everything is happened at around the same time for you though.
chin up!

TooOld4This said,

April 20, 2006 @ 2:10 pm

We all have our ups and downs, dont we?
I love you entries, hopefully it’ll be a happier entry tomorrow? lol, get well soon!

amberisamusicsnob said,

April 20, 2006 @ 2:14 pm

you should buy a journal and write EVERYTHING thats bothering you in it, every detail, every itty bitty littles sentence, it’ll help release all of that, and you won’t have to worry about someone reading it or finding it or even holding it against you because its your journal, you’ve hidden it etc.
and also, find time for yourself and who you are as opposed to meeting others’ expectations, etc.Just take an hour a day out for yourself. no xanga nothing lol,like a  walk in a park. ^_^ good luck

amber

gonchoi said,

April 20, 2006 @ 2:25 pm

I thought i was the only one.. but yeah lately i’ve been stressed out a lot.. so much stress.. I hope you get some breathing room.. just know that its ok to just give your best… things may not always turn out but you’ve done ur best.. =)

Benjermanifestdestiny said,

April 20, 2006 @ 2:35 pm

Hmmm…Makes me think of a slogan I read somewhere.Never hesitate, never stop, never regret, never look back.I guess it takes a big pile of crap to really be free. Im not sure anyone would really want that, but once your free it feels pretty good. Once you have nothing left to lose you realize how meaningless the fear of losing it all was anyway, then you can have some fun.

dehzep said,

April 20, 2006 @ 3:08 pm

strength!!

Ssweet_dreemzZ said,

April 20, 2006 @ 3:09 pm

Aw. Stay strong. =]

kalamai said,

April 20, 2006 @ 3:20 pm

man 22 is sucking for me but now that you’re talkin bout 23 i don’t wanna be that ever!!!

viperrxr said,

April 20, 2006 @ 3:25 pm

Geeeebus, that is a lot of stress.  Well I also recommend excercise..whatever form that may be. hahah.  Cheer up! =)

Bebe8inj3L said,

April 20, 2006 @ 3:51 pm

all i can say is.. from all of this stress u are still standing and bearing it..keep your chin up…you are doing fine =)
i hope everything will get better in a few weeks

hijinx7 said,

April 20, 2006 @ 3:54 pm

sadly, these are the trials we all must go through. ppl say we become adults when we hit a certain age. i think we grow up to become adults when we face and overcome these challenges….i say these things because i have gone through it

NikBv said,

April 20, 2006 @ 4:07 pm

good news, things get better, bad news, it takes place post-mortem

zealousalien said,

April 20, 2006 @ 4:30 pm

little does dave know, but that sex doesnt NOT require a partner at hand. all you need is a hand on hand, and things could be asexual.enjoy!

Sandsid said,

April 20, 2006 @ 4:56 pm

I’m sure you’ve heard about the valley and the peak… it’ll get better Shi… just keep movin’…

estoychino said,

April 20, 2006 @ 5:42 pm

It will get better.

tHexDonStER said,

April 20, 2006 @ 6:09 pm

I find relief from stress by playing street fighter against lil kids who think they’re bad and all.You should to because it feels good to put these kids in their place.

just1moreReason said,

April 20, 2006 @ 6:50 pm

Don’t concentrate on the stress.

mybelle21 said,

April 20, 2006 @ 7:45 pm

no he doesn’t…yet ;) oh and we love you too.

Lemon451 said,

April 20, 2006 @ 7:46 pm

No steve has no website but michelle and i can stand in for him! sorry it’s been so stressful we’ll destress being assholes to other people next time we catch up. if we don’t ill wait till you get your wisdom teeth out and become too incapacitated to move. pwahaha.

starberri92 said,

April 20, 2006 @ 9:02 pm

there’s always hope.

johnchen3 said,

April 20, 2006 @ 9:20 pm

haven’t you ever heard of that Blink 182 song…there’s a part that goes something like “no one likes you when your 23…”
get out of that age fast…

raizhafae said,

April 20, 2006 @ 10:51 pm

with great suffering also comes great inspiration. so… maybe, just maybe the best *whatever* is just around the corner. you’ll pull through, obviously since you’ve been string enough to hold on this long.

ralahinn1 said,

April 21, 2006 @ 4:07 am

I have been under severe stress for over 3 years now(long story) I almost “killed” myself earlier this year…but someone elses suicide opened the door for me to get help…I know now,  when things get too hard to bear, try to hang in ther at least a few days longer, things change. I’m still going through a “bad” time” but I can see an end to it finally, I have hope again:). You hang in there too, this time will pass. 

LuVz_BuRbErRy said,

April 21, 2006 @ 4:58 am

Be strong

s1LLyAngeL408 said,

April 21, 2006 @ 6:12 am

the only way left, is to go back up.things will keep better. they always do =)

SilentRhymes said,

April 21, 2006 @ 6:38 am

it’s stressful because you might not want to face it, but when u really look at it and do it, it’s not that bad. think like this “if i stress anymore i’ll look mad old by 24″

MyWebsite2006 said,

April 21, 2006 @ 6:39 am

random comment….have a great weekend!! believe me it gets better

Building_A_Mystery said,

April 21, 2006 @ 7:54 am

random props :-)

bjtdevera said,

April 21, 2006 @ 9:03 am

*hug*

JazzSaxKitten said,

April 21, 2006 @ 10:46 am

You have the strength inside you… all you need to do is find a way to tap into it. I think you can do this. I will continue to pray :)

dadawgfather said,

April 21, 2006 @ 3:06 pm

smoke pot

sexyandpimp3309 said,

April 21, 2006 @ 3:40 pm

going goth!
bam bam i suck

sexyandpimp3309 said,

April 21, 2006 @ 3:41 pm

jk

Blondie076 said,

April 21, 2006 @ 4:38 pm

Hey keep your chin up and stay postive. find something happy with your life… ifyou need something I am here. I know you dont know me but I can try to make you feel better
Heather

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