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//EDIT: Changed the “newflame” picture. Added movement!
//EDIT 2: Added a bunch of content on the bottom!
Socially Correct Greetings
While walking down the ring road on the UCI Campus, I often run into a lot of people that I’ve met throughout the past four years of my college existance.
Now, being the awkward social worm I am, the question always arises in my mind as I see the person I know coming towards me –
What the fuck am I going to do?
Do I say hi? Do I look away? What the hell?!.. Social anxiety grips me as I rush to decide what to do. 
.
Though I have a lot of social anxiety, I’ve realized that I DO have a lot of common habits that I slip into, depending on the type of person that I’m approaching.
So here it is, my list:
Kim’s Socially Correct Greetings
for the people you know when you’re passing them in public
(Use with caution. I’m a social retard.)
1. The ex-friend
The friend that you used to hang out with a long time ago but for some reason you stopped chillin with because of a difference, or you guys just drifted apart. This is also the category for those people that you run in the same circles with but don’t really like.
You always, ALWAYS promise that you guys will hang out sometime, even though it will never happen.
2. That person you see around all the time
The person you see around all the time but you don’t know their name and you don’t quite remember where you met them. You probably had a conversation with them once before, but you really can’t be sure about it.
For this occasion, I usually give them a tight lipped smile, a kind of baring of my teeth, hope they don’t stop me and keep walking.
3. Club Member
I know this doesn’t apply to a lot of you, but I’m pretty active in a community service club on campus.
I usually try to say something club related and make sure that they know I remember them.
4. The (dreaded) old flame
That person you had something with and never quite got over. Usually something ended badly.
For this occasion, you should use avoidance as much as possible.
This situation often ends with me IMing that person the same night saying, “I saw you on campus today!”
And the other person saying “Oh! You should have said hi”.
We both know it’s a lie.
5. The new flame
The person that you’re currently with.
There’s always time in your day to stop and have a chat with the person in your life.
6. Close Friend
This is reserved only for the closest of friends, and those you are really comfortable with.
I don’t know about you, but for the people I really like, I generally hump, grab their titties or do my special “secret handshake” (it involves a lot of touching..use your imagination).
So there you have it folks, how to greet people on the street as you’re passing them. Have I covered everything? Probably not! So, if you can think of other types of people that you end up running into when you’re in public, and you’re not sure how to deal with it, leave a comment and I’ll add it to my list!
On another note, check out this sinfest comic! They use the words “Madpimp” in it! How PIMP is that?
//Add: I just found out I got featured content on xanga! Pretty happy about it… In fact, I’m so happy that a lot of people are going to be here today, I’d like to plug my friend Vinh! He entered a photo contest for Jones Soda and he desperately needs your vote to get his picture on the side of a bottle!Vote for Vinny!!.
Also, HUUUGE happy birthday to DARRELL aka Duh-RELL Cream That’s right ladies.. This bag of manliness is sure to make you cream.
Did u mean San Fran?