Ethical Standards: Part One
The hypocrisy of parents:
“Do as I say, not as I do — unless it benefits me.”

Society tells us that good parents will teach their
kids to be honest and good people. So, that’s what parents teach
to their kids — at least when it benefits them. For
example, a kid who steals from the proverbial cookie jar will get
punished for stealing, and even more if he lies about it.

Sounds pretty good, doesn’t it? Ethical, idealistic, and promising.

How come then, is it the parent that is teaching the same child to lie, steal, and cheat?

—-
Alright, I shouldn’t generalize… But honestly, who here has never
lied, cheated or stolen anything in their life? I’m willing to
bet among those that arent lying that most that read this can think of
one instance where they’ve done one of these things.

I know I have.

Now, I know there are other factors that teach people to do
these unethical things — such as, say, the media, or your peers.
However, in my case, the people from whom I learned to actually justify such
actions were definitely my parents.

Afterall, my parents aren’t thieves, they weren’t bad people (and neither am I, I don’t think)… But
even they are human. As a child I caught them in white lies, I saw them grab
grapes and candies in the grocery store and munch on them when no one
was looking.

It made me think, hey, why can’t I do that? And so I
did. And I do. Even though I know it’s wrong, in my mind
it’s justified because I saw my parents doing it as a child.

As I grew up, I saw more. I caught more mistakes, lapses in judgement. My parents, my teachers, people who
were supposed to be my role models, the things I thought were wrong,
I understood them more. And though I thought they were
wrong, I began to justify them more.

When my parents got divorced and my mom began to drink heavily…

I thought… My mom, she drinks because my dad is bad, and he cheated on her. It’s okay, because drinking eases her pain. Even if
she drinks the entire bottle of cognac a day.

So when I began college, and symptoms of bi-polar disorder started in me..

I thought… There is so much pain…
It’s not that bad to drown it and suppress it with alcohol and
drugs. That’s what one is supposed to do.

And so I did. Even though the logical part of me knew it was
wrong, I was still able to justify it without feeling much guilt
because I had seen my mom doing it. Even though, if my mom ever
knew, I knew she would kill me for doing such ‘bad’ things.

But what would she be able to say, really, if I replied “I do this because I learned it from you” ?
——–

I guess the cliche moral of the story is that actions do speak louder
than words, and that kids are a lot more observant and susceptable to
learning your weaknesses than you think.

But… The real message I want to get out, the real question I want to ask is this:

Who taught you your ethical standards?… and who taught you to break them?