sometimes i feel as if life is just a giant tornado carrying me along. i don’t knowwhat’s going to happen to me, what i have and what i don’t have, what’s been destroyed, what’s been preserved, whether or not some people i care about are okay, and yet i just keep getting blown, drifting along until i find the eye of the storm — only to build new glass houses, meet new people, create new relationships, start over, work hard in school, only to have it all blown away and destroyed again in one fell swoop.

why do i drift from people so easily? i really really want to uphold my relationships, but then something inside of me makes me stop talking to people. stop making an effort to see the people that i love. and then i feel that i’m too distant from them to talk to them. and then i feel i’m too distant from them to visit. and then the friendship as i once knew it ends.

” i learned that friendships are made and maintained, and nobody is going to do it for me. ”

said david, when writing about what he learned in college on 30.4.2001. how inspiring. working to maintain a friendship? so different than in H.S. when people that you are friends with are basically people that you see every day.

weird. i get the sudden urge to talk to my buddies from SanJose. =T