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This is great stuff…

Found it in the mail today

Dear Fellow Americans…

America has engaged in some finger wagging
lately because California doesn’t have enough
electricity to meet its needs. The rest of the
country (including George W. Bush’s energy
secretary Spencer Abraham, who wants Californians
to suffer through blackouts as justification for
drilling for oil in Alaska’s Arctic National Wildlife
Refuge) seems to be just fine with letting
Californians dangle in the breeze without enough power
to meet their needs. They laugh at Californians’ frivolity.

Well, everybody. Here’s how it really is:
California ranks 48th in the nation in power consumed
per person. California grows more than half the nation’s fruit,
nuts and vegetables. We’re keeping them. We need
something to eat when the power goes out.
We grow 99 percent or more of the nation’s almonds,
artichokes, dates, figs, kiwifruit, olives,
persimmons, pistachios, prunes, raisins and walnuts. Hope you
won’t miss them.

California is the nation’s number one dairy state.
We’re keeping our dairy products. We’ll need
plenty of fresh ones since our refrigerators can’t be
relied upon. Got milk?

We Californians are gonna keep all our high-tech
software in state. Silicon Valley is ours, after all.
Without enough electricity, which you’re apparently
keeping for yourselves, we just plain don’t have
enough software to spare.

We’re keeping all our airplanes. California builds
a good percentage of the commercial airliners
available to fly you people to where you want to go.
When yours wear out, you’d better hope Boeing’s
Washington plant can keep you supplied.
There isn’t enough electricity here to allow us to
export any more planes than we need ourselves.

And while we’re at it, we’re keeping all our high-tech

aerospace stuff, too, like the sophisticated weapons
systems that let you sleep at night, not worried you
might wake up under the rule of some foreign kook.

Oh, yeah, and if you want to make a long-distance
call, remember where the satellite components and
tracking systems come from. Maybe you could get
back in the habit of writing letters.

Want to see a blockbuster movie this weekend?
Come to California. We make them here.
Since we’ll now have to make them with our
own electricity, we’re keeping them. Even
if we shot them somewhere else, the labs,
printing facilities, editing facilities, and sound
facilities are all here.

Want some nice domestic wine? We produce
over 17 million gallons per year.

We’ll need all it to drown our sorrows when we
think about the fact that no matter how many
California products we export to make the rest
of America’s lives better, America can’t see its
way clear to help us out with a little electricity.
You can no longer have any of our wine.

You all complain that we don’t build enough
power plants. Well, you don’t grow enough
food, write enough software, make enough
movies, build enough airplanes and defense
systems or make enough wine.

The Californians

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