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Are you being heard? Am I?
I’ve been blogging for a long time. I have online jounals dating back to 1999. That means I’m going on six years. Never in my life have I received so much feedback on my site. Never so much have I felt like I’m not really being read.
It’s not the huge amounts of people that visit my site that never comment. It’s not all the people who have subscribed to me that have never commented.
It’s the people who come to my site and comment, but have obviously not even taken the effort to read anything, and don’t even have the courtesy to say something that is remotely related to what I have written. Never before have I seen such a blatant display of flippancy.
In the beginning it was kind of funny. In the beginning, it was almost flattering that people were spamming me with “lol” and “random propz”. Now, it makes me kind of sad.
Its hard to ignore the non readers.
Why does this make me sad? This makes me sad because I feel like the quality of my writing has been diminishing. This makes me sad because I feel as if I have been dumbing down my posts in order to appeal to a larger amount of people (all so I can be heard) and in the meantime, losing what I cherished the most in my blogging: knowledge, and my message.
At one point I remember actually SAYING something. I don’t anymore.
And why? For the prepubescent girls that come to my site that TypE LiKE Dis? for the illiterates that come to my site, look at the pictures and think that they can gather my thoughts by what I display through stick figures?
Why do I feel like I need to write stupidly so that I can upkeep my epopularity and appeal to a larger audience, when that larger audience is almost completely comprised with people that I don’t respect and think are idiots?
I’m looking for that one person who will hear me
Listen to me! Hear what I’m saying!
Only, in order to reach that person, in order to increase my popularity in the hopes that someone who understands me will come across my site, I’ve stopped saying anything.
The irony is staggering.
Why post anything at all, if I have nothing to say?
I’ve been blinded by things lately, like hits, and featured content, and comments.
I’ve changed.
Blog habits that bother me
It’s these people who are causing me to feel the way I am
People like this girl,who spam my site with things like this and expect me to actually treat them with respect:
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Hello. I am running for xanga of the month and I was wondering if you could vote for me. You have to go to www.xanga.com/username_donations and vote for me. Hopefully you vote for me and if you do I’ll give you sum “appreciation props” Posted 2/7/2005 at 7:55 PM by dorkette9192 – delete – block user |
I happened to reply back that I didn’t want to vote and that I felt that “appreciation props” were retarded, and that she should come back to my site when she decided she had something to say that was worthwhile. Then she had the nerve to tell me that I was rude. Me? Rude? At least I was treating her like an individual human being.
On the contrary, I believe it is she who was quite rude. She didn’t even take a moment to read the bold print on my entry and make a lame comment to some effect that made me feel like she had even seen my writing.
That, my friend, is rude.
Next time, read my shit.
//edit. This girl called me a hypocrite because I replied to her site and “didn’t read it”. The entry in question was entirely about voting for her site and I said something to the effect that I thought it would be a waste of time to vote for her site. If that’s not on topic, I don’t know what is. 
NO EPROPS FOR YOU, BITCH!
This is for you, illiterate bitches.
Anyhow, I’m feeling angry and rather disillusioned about all this at the moment and don’t really feel this blog stuff. I feel like I may blog again tomorrow, or I may never blog again… I don’t know. We’ll see what happens.
I know one thing for sure. If I blog again, I’ll make sure it’s quality and not quantity.
Thank you to those that truly read.
For those of you who have noticed the decrease in my writing quality, I apologize. I’m slowly trying to bring back my old self.
Love,
Kim
shitlinks:[x] [x] [camville] [camwhores]
p.s. my genius friend HOANG just got a xanga. i really want to find out what he has to say about things, so please, give him eprops for encouragement.
p.p.s. i’m guilty of not commenting well at times too, but from now on im making an effort to do better. also, this entry is geared towards people who write “random propz” or “prop me back” or some other copy pasted reply … if you don’t do that, you’re pretty much safe from my wrath.
So even though I don’t have enough prior knowledge, I don’t think your post are dumb at all…some of the insights you have into things is quite uncanny. And you’re not afraid to speak your mind…which to me is one of the most powerful qualities someone can have…you actually have a voice and it’s screaming bullshit. So don’t worry about not being heard cause as you can see from all these comments…you ARE! 
first me, then you!well, good comments are hard to come by.
but honestly, i dont know any other X that gets as many comments as you do….not disregarding what you just wrote, but gosh you’re so popular, whether ppl actually read what u say or not (by the looks of it, its more the former)