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happiness lonliness emptiness

I’m a really insecure person. I know that, the people around me know that. It seems incurable, this nagging feeling on the inside of me that I’ll never be good enough… That nobody likes me… That I’m bringing people down. Where does it come from?

I wonder if it’s a psychological imbalance in my head. Some days I feel as if everything is perfect. I couldn’t be happier or in a better position. Nothing could be better than that moment. And then… the emptiness comes.

The emptiness is worse than the insecure feeling, I think. The emptiness is when all emotions become void. When nothing has any meaning and everything seems pointless. The emptiness means quiet hours sitting and contemplating on why I even need to live on this earth. Contemplating why I exist.

And then it’s back to my old lonley insecure self again.

It must be part of the PMS cycle.

Nekotine said,

November 26, 2001 @ 8:49 pm

Hahah you’re either on too much pms or too much k. It sounds more like the latter but I can’t really comment much on the former, now can I?
Welcome to college. Now begins the time when nobody gives a fck about who you are or what you do. Captain of your sports team, #1 in your class… who are you again? You’ve figured it out quicker than everybody else. You’re a special one, you are. Who you are is not who you will be, as you’ve already figured out. Life’s about to take on a whole new meaning… you’ll realize it soon enough.

Vernon said,

November 26, 2001 @ 9:52 pm

Sometimes I wonder if I come from an alternative universe. That in that universe I am self-confident, co-ordinated and erudite.

Nekotine said,

November 26, 2001 @ 11:18 pm

It’s good to know that other people feel the same way.

Life would definitely be easier if somehow people could admit to this and show it in their day-by-day lives. I assure you that 90% of the population on this planet feels the same way.

The other 10% are tweaking.

shozo said,

November 27, 2001 @ 1:07 am

youre keen.

and im insecure about myself. about who i am. who i will be.. if anything. and im so afraid to be alone… but i end up pushing away or coming on too strong… i dont know…. im just in this moody, well, mood… bah. youre cool kim. wicked cool.

Jesse said,

November 27, 2001 @ 12:15 pm

you are liked, kim. Don’t get all down… and plus youz only a freshman, just wait until you graduate… see how you feel then! hang in there, kiddo… put another cam pic up, I wanna see you smile!

I said SMILE dammit!


Adam said,

November 27, 2001 @ 12:18 pm

Excuse Jesse, he’s a freakshow. Hehe, but, yeah smile. Looks like someone needs a hug… >>HUG

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