inicio mail me! sindicaci;ón


A pessimist at heart, I can’t help but think the worst of myself and the situations I’m in. It’s sad, but I think that’s partially why things turn out so badly for me — not because I don’t want them to turn out well, but because deep in my heart I won’t ALLOW things to turn out well.

When you have a pessimistic soul and the constant urge to be right — it can be a dangerous and volitile combination.

Somebody told me recently that my journal is full of screams of “pity me!”

It’s true, of course — that’s the funny part. I think a part of me really does like it when people pity me; not in that sympathizing way where they think they understand what you’re going through, but in that “Oh shit, I can’t believe you have to go through that crap” type of pity.


It’s because I’m demented. That’s the conclusion that I’ve come up with after these few months of self-evaluation. I’m just plain crazy, and I”m probably going koo koo. I don’t know if it’s the environment I’m in, the activities I’m participating in, or the fact that I feel helpless in the seemingly downwards direction my life is plunging into.

I’m so fucked up in the head!

Roci said,

January 25, 2002 @ 12:21 pm

Hey, I’m demented too!!!

Jason said,

January 25, 2002 @ 6:16 pm

thats alot of $1 :)

you should get like a $20 and put it infront of them all hehehe

Marc said,

January 25, 2002 @ 7:06 pm

Have you visited Colorgenics?
It hit right on the mark for me….

Shmazzy said,

January 25, 2002 @ 7:21 pm

I can relate to the pessimistic part, and I totally understand craving that attention from pity. I just love how you just express yourself so well. I have no better way of saying it, really. You’re so beautiful that I had to link you. :)

kim said,

January 25, 2002 @ 9:46 pm

actually if you look closely, the last 7 are hundreds.

kim said,

January 25, 2002 @ 10:54 pm

btw, thanks shmazzy… ^_^; makes me feel less alone in my silly depressions. :P

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