Hahah Funny E-mail of the moment
Subj: HI
Date: 4/29/01 7:23:12 PM Pacific Daylight Time
From: Mike308savage
To: Pimpmistress
SORRY I DIDNT GET RIGHT BACK.PLEASE FORGIVE ME CHRISTINA. I MISS YOU SWEETIE,PLEAS DONT IGNORE ME. I CARE ALOT ABOUT YOU,PLEASE TALK WITH ME.
Gosh, I never knew my name was Christina…. O_o;
So My Mom and I were watching BAYWATCH : Hawaii!
And I’m like… “Damn! That guy is HOT!”
My mom says, “No he’s not, he looks like Nick.”
Of course, I indignantly reply “He looks nothing like Nick~!”
-.- “You’re right” she says “He’s way better looking”
Damnit…You tell me, does this guy look like Nick?
Exhausted
Wow… A new blog layout… Gee! It’s really ugly! Hahaa.. But that’s OK. This will prove to be as temporary as the others that have gone up.
Talked on the phone to Nick last night… Realised how much I’ve missed him during the last couple weeks… But then realised for the first time that he’s not really some gigantic part of my life… But a really enjoyable part.. ^_^; Like a candy or something… I mean, I don’t need candy to survive, but I love to eat it! :P.. I don’t know… I guess I’m happiest when I’m coddling somebody, but Nick isn’t really the need to be coddled type, so sometimes I feel kind of left out of his life… It’s all good though ^_^ Gives me more time to learn how to study!
Hah… I was angry at myself when I was talking to him last night, though… For some reason I couldn’t think of anything to say… It made me so angry because for the last couple weeks every time something interesting happened, I would make a mental note to myself, but then poof.. haha it just all disappeared.
Fresh Choice Night
When inviting non-CSF friends to Fresh Choice Night, a strange realization occured. I have no friends that aren’t in CSF that live around here that are under 22. Either that, or I’m not looking hard enough. Bleh…
Weird
Throughout this whole year I’ve seen blogs come and go, and the only ones that seem to really stay alive consistantly are us OG bloggers haha… Like Percy and Katie… ^_^*, well them and the shirt ninJAY (listed on the side)… I guess it’s because of addicts like us that blogger’s so popular. ^_^ I actually feel kinda special. Especially as my little archive list gets longer…and longer… and longer.. :P~
This is great stuff…
Found it in the mail today
Dear Fellow Americans…
America has engaged in some finger wagging
lately because California doesn’t have enough
electricity to meet its needs. The rest of the
country (including George W. Bush’s energy
secretary Spencer Abraham, who wants Californians
to suffer through blackouts as justification for
drilling for oil in Alaska’s Arctic National Wildlife
Refuge) seems to be just fine with letting
Californians dangle in the breeze without enough power
to meet their needs. They laugh at Californians’ frivolity.
Well, everybody. Here’s how it really is:
California ranks 48th in the nation in power consumed
per person. California grows more than half the nation’s fruit,
nuts and vegetables. We’re keeping them. We need
something to eat when the power goes out.
We grow 99 percent or more of the nation’s almonds,
artichokes, dates, figs, kiwifruit, olives,
persimmons, pistachios, prunes, raisins and walnuts. Hope you
won’t miss them.
California is the nation’s number one dairy state.
We’re keeping our dairy products. We’ll need
plenty of fresh ones since our refrigerators can’t be
relied upon. Got milk?
We Californians are gonna keep all our high-tech
software in state. Silicon Valley is ours, after all.
Without enough electricity, which you’re apparently
keeping for yourselves, we just plain don’t have
enough software to spare.
We’re keeping all our airplanes. California builds
a good percentage of the commercial airliners
available to fly you people to where you want to go.
When yours wear out, you’d better hope Boeing’s
Washington plant can keep you supplied.
There isn’t enough electricity here to allow us to
export any more planes than we need ourselves.
And while we’re at it, we’re keeping all our high-tech
aerospace stuff, too, like the sophisticated weapons
systems that let you sleep at night, not worried you
might wake up under the rule of some foreign kook.
Oh, yeah, and if you want to make a long-distance
call, remember where the satellite components and
tracking systems come from. Maybe you could get
back in the habit of writing letters.
Want to see a blockbuster movie this weekend?
Come to California. We make them here.
Since we’ll now have to make them with our
own electricity, we’re keeping them. Even
if we shot them somewhere else, the labs,
printing facilities, editing facilities, and sound
facilities are all here.
Want some nice domestic wine? We produce
over 17 million gallons per year.
We’ll need all it to drown our sorrows when we
think about the fact that no matter how many
California products we export to make the rest
of America’s lives better, America can’t see its
way clear to help us out with a little electricity.
You can no longer have any of our wine.
You all complain that we don’t build enough
power plants. Well, you don’t grow enough
food, write enough software, make enough
movies, build enough airplanes and defense
systems or make enough wine.
Love,
The Californians
Sigh
I find it troublesome to talk about my feelings out loud. I really want to talk about things to somebody right now… But I guess I don’t have anybody to talk to. Except for my mom. But she’s so easily excitable that I can’t really spill all to her, you know… Hahaha. I guess it’s time for me to meet new people so I can spill my heart out to them without being afraid that they’ll run away from me. Or… Even if they do it doesn’t matter because they’ve served their purpose. 
I have this horrible fear of talking to my friends because I’m afraid if I say something wrong then they’ll turn away from me. I guess that defeats the purpose of having a friend… But yeah. =T Thats the way it is. Damn. Why is it so damn hard to be close to people?
Baggage
I guess I do come with a lot of baggage. Sigh. I guess that’s what has made me into this horrible monstropolous crazy cool monster I am today. Hehe. I can’t say i regret any of it. I mean, I love who I am the way I am, so I guess since all the stuff that I’ve had to go through in my life has helped to shape me I don’t mind. Haha. Anyway, I think everyone comes with just as much baggage– they just aren’t as liberal with their feelings as I am.
I want school to be over and summer to begin. Even with summer school, I find summer so trouble free and careless. It’s so much simpler than my life as it is right now. AP tests start in a week. Ahhhhhh. >_
[untitled]
Funny how I can cry
And not know why
I can want to die
And not know why
It’s the opposite of love
And yet I can’t let go
It’s the horrible deeds
And I just want to know
Why me why me
What did I do what could I have done better
I’m sorry I didn’t practice more
My fingers were too sore
To pound out another note
I’m sorry if the words I wrote
Weren’t enough to earn an A
But daddy why do you have to hit me that way?
I’m sorry that I’m so little
And that I get sick a lot
I didn’t mean to catch cold that day
But daddy why did you take my insurance away
And I couldn’t go to the hospital
Because we had no money to pay…
I’m sorry I didn’t pick to be born to you
What in the world can I do
But take my brother in
When he shows up at my door
Why did you have to push him away
‘
Daddy, we’re your children, why do you treat us that way…
Ahaha. ode to daddy-o. I hate that guy.
…Ahh If I have any mental issues
I can now know to blame it wholly on my father. I hate my father, I really do. I love how he treats his children like shit and people who aren’t his children even worse. Like when my half brother came to visit me and my father realised my half brother had snuck away from him to see me and he banned him from our house. Or how I never even knew I had a half brother in the first place until he showed up at my house one day. He’s 27 you know.
Ahh and now I’m 18. Finally rid of him, right? Not. The child support ended… But thus begins the battle for my college. He’s supposed to pay half. I wanted a lump sum of 8,000 per year. HE wants a lump sum of 20,000 for all four years. Ha. What a dad what a dad.$20,000 barely pays for all my car costs (If you count the price of the car, $8,000 + the $2000 a year for the insurance). And that’s supposed to pay half my college for the next four years. Thanks a lot daddy-o. I should have gone to USC like I promised him a long time ago.
Sometimes I just don’t care anymore. You know. He’s getting remarried. Lovely isn’t it. I hope he doesn’t breed. He’ll just create more worthless crap. Haha. I’m ashamed to be half worthless crap. Maybe a whole worthless crap. Sometimes I wonder about myself. Damn. To be torn. Tormented and and wrenched apart from the inside by this insidous link called DNA.
I guess he wasn’t a bad father. To me that is… I mean he didn’t hit me until I bled like he hit my brothers. Well… Once I kind of bled. But that was when I was being born. You see, he kicked my mom in the stomach March 15, 1983. Hey whaddaya know. Lucky day for me I guess — that’s one day before my birthday.
And it’s not like he didnt’ spend time with me… Except… Most of the time it was on dates with his girlfriends… Of course… Good thing for himand me I didn’t know they were his girlfriends until my parents were about to divorce. I think I would have grown up pretty messed up in the head if I had known.
Sometimes I wish I had someone to talk to. Someone I could just spill my entire heart to. HAhaha. I guess the internet world at large will have to do for now. This just doesn’t have that wonderful feeling of intimacy yanno. Ahh wells. Maybe one day. One day one day.
Sadder than the ugly puppy @ the pound
Me.
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